All comics by pittbando

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by pittbando
10-08-03
You know, a lot of funny stuff happens on our floor. If you made it into a comic strip I bet it'd be really funny.
Tim, nobody wants to read a comic strip about knife fights and "your mom" jokes.
Come on, it couldn't be any worse than the God awful cartoons they put in the Pitt News.
Your mom's worse than the Pitt News.
Andy, that's the kind of jack assery that will prevent our lives from being summed up in a comic strip.
Your mom's life is summed up in a comic strip.

 

by pittbando
10-08-03
You look a little tired, Loopy.
I was up until four trying to buy season tickets for basketball online.
You do know you could have just taken the two minute walk down to the Peterson and bought them this morning, right?
Yeah, but, Sean, I was up 'till four.
But you could have slept until seven thirty and then casually walked down and bought your tickets instead of staying up all night to buy them online.
Do you wanna have a knife fight?

 

by pittbando
10-08-03
So I was fuckin' this chick last night-
Loopy, aren't you straight edge?
All right! Damn! Back up off m'case! Man, it's cold! Wanna go eat? Buff core! It's time for a knife fight! I'm fuckin' hot! Oh, hey Maggie, what's goin' on? I'm so stuffed, yo, I just ate.
Lordy! I'm gonna go watch a movie.
A movie about knife fighting?

 

by pittbando
10-08-03
Somewhere on the 10 West LAN network an eternal struggle rages...
Defend your life, BITCH!!!
I'm on your team, ass hole!
MATT SMITH NEEDS NO TEAM!!!
Are you coming to dinner?
Damn it, Rachel! Can't you see I'm doing Calc homework?

 

by pittbando
10-08-03
Jesus Christ, Loopy, what the hell happened to you?
I dunno... have you seen my knife?
You mean the pointy lookin' thing in your hand?
Oh yeah... have you seen Josh?
I think he went to plau Ultimate Frisby.
Yeah... Ultimate Frisby... that sounds good.

 

by pittbando
10-08-03
Hey, Tim, what's goin' on?
What's goin' on!? WHAT'S GOIN' ON!? Some bastard stole my sign! That's what's goin' on!
So why don't you just write a new one? It cost you, what, ten cents?
It was free, wasn't it?
Josh, you're so naive.

 

by pittbando
10-08-03
One Sunday on the way to Eddies...
I'm goin' off the tracks on a crazy train! Doo doo doo!
All right! Damn! You've been singing that song all day!
Sorry.
...goin' off the tracks on a-GOD DAMN IT ANDY!

 

by pittbando
10-08-03
Sarah, do you ever feel like the girls on this floor are out numbered by all the stupid things the boys do?
What do you mean?
All right, what happens after we finish stealing Tim's new sign?
For the last time, I haven't thought that far in advance, but we've got a whole case of spray cheese left over from block shopping to use up, so be creative.
Hey, why's Tim chasing Josh and Andy?
I dunno. What's that stuff all over him?

 

by pittbando
10-08-03
Loopy, I'm doing a paper on the Spanish American War that's due tomorrow but ResNet just crashed. Quick, tell me everything you know!
Uh... well, it all started in Havanna when the USS Maine expoded. America blaimed the whole thing on the Spanish Empire and demanded compensation, and when Spain said no the started the war.
Then?
Well, the Spanish were very good at fighting a war on two fronts, so they came out of the box swinging and pretty much laid us flat on our backs. It was kinda like this knife fight I was in one time.
Wait, didn't we-AMERICA-win the Spanish American War?
Wait... I forgot, we're not Spain... come to think of it, I was think of the Polypenesian Wars all along. Sally, have you seen my knife?

 

by pittbando
10-08-03
Hey Lizzie, have you been out in the hall the past couple of nights?
Yeah, why?
The cleaning people left a note that said you've had your final warning about keeping the hall clean and now they have to take drastic measures.
What does that mean, Crispy?
You see those Kill-Bots over there? They're programmed to clean anything they find in contact with the carpet... with a flame thrower.

 

by pittbando
10-08-03
Monday------------------Tuesday
God damn Diablo!
God damn Halo!
Wednseday-------------Thursday
God damn Unreal Tournament!
God damn Civilization III!
Friday
Matt, do you ever feel like there's something more to life?
Yeah, Command and Conquer Red Alert 2!

 

by pittbando
10-08-03
So, you're a Kill-Bot, huh?
FLOOR IS DIRTY! MUST CLEAN! ENGAGE WITH EXTREME PREJUDICE!
God damn... LOOPY! There's someone out here who wants to knife fight!
ENGAGE IN 3... 2...
Count all you want, you're still over.

 

by pittbando
10-08-03
Have you seen Josh?
I think he went to go play Ultimate Frisbee.
Son of a bitch!
What?
I wanted to get him back for stealing my sign and now Loopy's gonna knife him. I guess I'll have to settle for Andy.
Can't. Sean knifed him because he couldn't get "Crazy Train" out of his head.

 

by pittbando
10-08-03
In room 1024 West nothing can be heard but the clicking of computer keys and the screams of video game opponents.
Kaniaris is on top of the pyramid again.
I got it.
The virtual bodies begin to mount at the feet of Tim and TimChris.
Watch for Matt! In the trees! In the trees!
Ambush! Ambush!
God damn it... the air conditioner is doing it again. Our room is gonna be swamp in no time.
I'll e-mail the EPA.

 

by pittbando
10-08-03
Schenley Park, not far from Sutherland Hall...
See? Isn't it so much better to be outside instead of in your room pretending to shoot at those other dumb boys?
I guess, but why're you wearing a sweatshirt?
You didn't hear the weather report? Matt! It's supposed to go down to eighty with the wind chill!
Oh God! Let's get back home before sun down! I don't have a coat with me!
Why did we ever leave San Diego?
I don't know about you, but my girlfriend forced me into it.

 

by pittbando
10-09-03
Hey Rachel.
Hey Lizzie.
You know, we're definately sisters now.
How's that?
We both come from states run by people who were in the movie "Predator."
Oh. I thought we were sisters because neither of us are talking to Matt right now.

 

by pittbando
10-09-03
Hi Josh.
Guulk guulk! Om dyte uunc goov swed xemma!
Lizzie, what's wrong with Josh?
We were playing curses and he forgot how to speak normally. You should see Andy.
Are you still cursed?
Meow! Lunch Meat! I am a sex machine! What makes you say that?

 

by pittbando
10-09-03
Andy, have you seen my shoes?
Are they in our room?
Uh... maybe?
Christ, Loopy, you're wearing them.
Oh... hey, do you think they'll send me to jail for being in a knife fight?
Sigh... one of these says I'm allowed to practice law in Mississippi but my fee is ten thousand dollars plus expenses.

 

by pittbando
10-09-03
HOLLY SHIT IT'S A ZOMBIE!
Kaniaris, calm down, it's me, Josh.
What in the name of sniping happened to you?
Lizzie, Sarah, Andy and I went mud wrestling in front of the Cathedral.
So what's with the arm then?
Oh, that? We ran into Loopy on the way back.

 

by pittbando
10-09-03
Kill-Bot, what happend to you?
TERMINAL ERROR! TERMINAL ERROR! URA-URA-URA-
What just happened to that Kill-Bot?
You mean you haven't seen the garbage room since we came back from mud wrestling?

 

by pittbando
10-12-03
Wow Sarah, this 90's dance party was a great idea?
I know, we've already rocked out to Ace of Bass, Snoop Dog, and Blur. How much more 90's could you get?
Yeah, there's even a guy over there wearing a Bob Dole in '96 shirt!
Hey! This song's Mmm Bop! Awsome! Let's dance!
WHOA!
On no! Andy fell and twisted his ankle!

 

by pittbando
10-12-03
Whew! I think my ankle's okay.
That's good. It'd be a shame if you had to go to the hospital like one of Loopy's victims.
Wait, Sally, what song is this?
It's Real Big Fish! Sell Out! Let's dance!
WHOA!
Guys! Andy twisted his other ankle!

 

by pittbando
10-14-03
Do you think the light stays on in the fridge when the door's closed?
No, cause when you push that little button that the door pushes the light goes out.
Damn! So what if you're in the fridge and you wanna know what the daily vitamins in something are?
Loopy, your fridge is, what, a cubic foot? How would you get into it?
Damn! I was just asking you a question! You don't gotta be in m'face about it!

 

by pittbando
10-14-03
Hey Andy, have you seen Maggie anywhere? Somebody that WASN'T Loopy challenged her to a knife fight!
I have either seen Maggie, or not seen Maggie.
Wait, that doesn't tell me anything at all.
Ah, so therefore you like Mel Gibson.
No, actually, but I hear that they wanna make him governor of a state. What's with all the backwards talking nonsense?
I have a Logic exam in eight hours, and I need to study.

 

by pittbando
10-14-03
Hey Loopy. Did you see the rainbow outside?
Was it right side up or up side down?
What do you mean?
Like, was it happy or sad? I mean, inverted.
Loopy, rainbows can't be inverted when they're in the sky.
It depends on your definition of the word "rainbow".

 

by pittbando
10-19-03
Wow Loopy. What happened to you this weekend?
Well, I went and slept over at a friend's house and we got bored, so I pulled out my knife and said, "Hey, we should have a knife fight."
What happened then?
Well, nobody else wanted to fight, so I got into a fight with myself until I got tired.
At least you won.
I count it as more of a draw, myself.

 

by pittbando
10-23-03
Hey Loopy. I need a drill, a power saw, and about twenty feet of chain to put together some new rigging.
Woot.
I was definately gonna run to the hardware store tonight, but I got so many packages in the mail that I pulled something in my lower back carrying them all back to my room.
Woot.
So I guess what I'm asking is if you can be a dear and run to the hardware store for me.
Woot.

 

by pittbando
10-31-03
In preparation for the haunted house, Lizzie inspects everyone's costumes...
Wow Josh, I don't know how you got into that costume, but it looks great!
Actually, Josh payed me four American dollars to say I'm him while he finishes playing Max Payne.
Wow Loopy, what're you?
I'm a guy with a bigger knife.
Sean? What're you supposed to be?
I'm a ghost. Fuckin' boo an' shit.

 

by pittbando
10-31-03
I'd taken some pills to hold back the pain. Now the only thing left I had to do was take care of Vlad's men.
I AM A CLEANER! I AM A CLEANER! DIE PAYNE!
Logic told me someone must have heard the gun shots and called for backup by now. Logic was such a liar.
Just when you think you can't get any lower you wake up and realize you slept through another German test, only instead of a German test your wife and daughter were brutally murdered.
Damn... I sound so much cooler in my internal monologue than in spoken words, and stuff.

 

by pittbando
10-31-03
Who are all the people on the floor that I don't recognize?
I dunno... I heard a bunch of parents were coming up to visit this weekend.
Hey, Maggie.
Hey, Matt. This is my dad.
Pleased to meet you, sir.
Pleased to meet you too.

 

by pittbando
11-06-03
RING RING!!!
Operator.
TimChris! It's Tim! We need a bus to get us to the Science Center, pronto!
All right, it looks like you need to take the 54C and get off at Children's Way and then walk through the parking lot of Heinz Field to get there.
Does the 54C stop in the Hill District, cause that's where we are.
Why'd you blow our EMP and get us stuck here again?
Hmmm, you can pick up the 100XFL which'll take you to the 54C in the Hill District, but that's the best I can do.
All right, let's just hope we don't run into any agents... or those ghost things... or eight story high movie screens with Keanu Reaves' ass on it.
When I see three panels, and thee Matrix jokes, I don't see chance, I see providence.

 

by pittbando
11-06-03
Matt, is physically beating a dead horse with a baseball bat funny or disgusting?
I think it's pretty funny.
Maggie, is physically beating a dead horse with a baseball bat funny or disgusting?
That's grose! Only stupid hicks back home do that!
Mooby, as some sort of mixture of cow, pig, and donkey I need to ask you: Is physically beating a dead horse with a baseball bat funny or disgusting?
Your mom's disgusting.

 

by pittbando
11-06-03
Hi 10 West Fans. It's me, Andy. Normally these strips are funny... kinda... but this time I'd like to be serious.
You see, we're coming up on an anniversary of sorts. It was one month ago tomorrow that I started creating these comic strips.
Imagine that. It's only been one month. That's it! The real life things I'm making fun of in my comic strip have all happened in, what, thirty days?
In this time we've seen Loopy buy a knife, fall in love with it, and then cast it off for its destructive power.
We've laughed at jokes about how anal the cleaning people are and then stopped laughing because they weren't that funny in the first place.
I mean... killer cleaning robots? Feh! What was I on?

 

by pittbando
11-06-03
Hey, it sounded like a good idea when I was writing 33, and it's too late now.

 

by pittbando
11-15-03
Midnight on any given weekday.
I heart pizza. I heart it a lot. Wanna order one for me? I don't like the phone.
Dang, yo! I hate the phone too!
After several hours of debate over who should order the pizza.
Sean, will you order me and Maggie a pizza? We heart it but we anti-heart the phone. Oh, and can you pick it up too, the guard doesn't heart me either.
I do every night, don't I? What do you want on it?
30-45 minutes later at the guard booth.
If you eat much more pizza, you'll start to look like one.
Shut the fuck up or I'm gonna throw down!

 

by pittbando
2-19-04
THUMP! THUMP! THUMP! THUMP!
Hey, Andy.
Sean, what the hell is that noise? It's coming from your room.
THUMP! THUMP! THUMP! THUMP!
Oh, it's just Josh and Lizzie again.
They're "building a table" again?
THUMP! THUMP! THUMP! THUMP!
No, this time they're having sex.
I think you need this more than I do.

 

by pittbando
2-19-04
Uh... who the hell are you?
Hello, Crispy! I'm Maria Lousia Francheska! I'm Maggie's wacky cousin who has moved in to the liven the comic strip up for a hip young audience!
Oh... so you're what happened when the Olson Twins weren't young enough to be cute any more.
Right, except unlike the Olson Twins I'll make pornography of myself on demand!
And you say you're Maggie's cousin?
SILENCE INFIDEL!!!

 

by pittbando
2-19-04
Let's take a moment and see 10 West throughout the ages...
Hark! I crave more 10 West comics, Lord Andy.
Your mom.
Wow... I think I'm trippin'... but I totally want more 10 West comics... and about 10 pizzas...
Your mom.
The one thing I need in the post armageddon world is more 10 West comics... oh yeah, and a human female so I can repopulate the Earth.
Your mom-bot.

 

by pittbando
2-19-04
We must meet the ominous terrorist threat with our courage! Our valor! And indeed our vary lives! It is our duty to ensure that we, not they, dominate this server now, and ALWAYS!
Uh oh!
Terrorists Win!

 

by pittbando
2-19-04
All right, you win.

 

by pittbando
2-23-04
Hello, Mooby. What're you doing here?
I was a one gag character created to try and keep the comic strip alive when Andy started running out of ideas. You?
Pretty much the same thing.
At least this isn't a cop show.
Why?
Well, in cop shows throw away characters always explode.

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