A Day On The Bench by scarab_42011-08-01 Oh God! That guy is disgusting! Jerk! Jerk! Tug! Pull! Huff! Wheeze! Splork! Here It Comes! I'm going to kill myself. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH EVERYBODY?
Choose Your New Best Friend! by scarab_42011-08-01 Who Would You Pick? Well, I like sewing layers of women's skin together in a neat little design I call "The J.Lo..." Who wants to smash me in the face with a dildo? I set fire to mommy and daddy. Ooh...the colors... He's not my boyfriend. I just live with him. I think something's been shoved up my ass. Will you check?
A Fine Sunday Afternoon by scarab_42011-08-01 Sunday afternoon in the lab... Hmm...how can I fix my machine? Maybe I need to put a few nails in it. Fuck it, I'm a failure. Goodbye all my online friends!
Another Relaxing Day by scarab_42011-08-01 Ahh...another relaxing day on the cross... Hey! I have Britney Spears tickets! Who wants to go? I do! Fuck off!
Street Talk by scarab_42011-08-01 Why in the hell are you such a pervert? Beg your pardon? I am not a pervert! Then why did you just beat off that dog? I didn't think anyone saw me...
Some Of My Friends by scarab_42011-08-01 Drea Damn Yahoo keeps logging me off! Timmy and Aaron Melinda ran off with niggers! God, I love marching band! Taylor and Renee Honey, can I see my friends today? No!
Holiday Cheer For One And All! by scarab_42011-08-01 Happy Whatever... Feliz Navidad, amigos! Merry Christmas! Happy New Year! Happy Kwanzaa! Happy Valentine's Day! Suck a cock!
Two Geeks On The Street by scarab_42011-08-01 "Two Geeks On The Street" starring... Philo Cockmaster, and my sidekick... Gay Harry! So, Gay Harry, what seems to be going on here? Apparently, someone got their balls stuck on some flypaper here at our local Wal-Mart. That was you, wasn't it? Don't ask.
The Dream by scarab_42011-08-01 I had this strange dream last night that I was talking to a goat on a spaceship. Really? He kept on repeating the same damn thing over and over again... Shut the fuck up! Do you want to see me hit myself in the balls? Why is everybody a dildo nowadays? Beats the hell out of me...
Dedicated To Drea by scarab_42011-08-01 This one is for Drea... This guy's cute...I should talk to him... Hey there! What's happening? Hi, I'm Drea. Nice to meet you. I'm Bryan. Want to go see Type O Negative next Saturday? And young love flourishes! For now, at least... Ooh...he's a keeper! I have backstage passes.
Kids These Days by scarab_42011-08-01 'Sup nigga? Oh God, another cocksucker... Queer! I hate people. I wish I was home jerking it... 'Sup nigga?
Kids These Days by scarab_42011-08-01 'Sup nigga? Oh God, another cocksucker... Queer! I hate people. I wish I was home jerking it... 'Sup nigga?
A Nice Comic by scarab_42011-08-01 People often ask me, "Can't you make a nice comic?" Here's a try... Hey there, friend! How are you doing today? Just fine, thank you! I tried! I couldn't do it! Can I eat you now?
Jesus Makes A Joke by scarab_42011-08-01 Oh, I've just been hanging out here and there... *Snicker* Awful jackass...
Taylor's Birthday Present by scarab_42011-09-01 Taylor's birthday is today...so I decided to make him a nice little comic... Jive city, folks! I'm Taylor here with another song for all of you. Here it goes... Happy birthday to me...happy birthday to me...happy birthday to meeee... Happy birthday, Taylor! Happy birthday to me! Thank you all and good night! Smoke a phatty, folks!
Harvesting Nuts by scarab_42011-09-01 One day, while harvesting nuts in the woods... Hey bro, what's shaking? Me cause my nuts are freezing. *Snicker* I'm serious, my balls are turning blue!
Stand-Up Comedy by scarab_42011-09-01 Why some stand-up comedy sucks... So I said to him, "Vince, you've either gotta lube up or get out!" I knew I was going to kill myself today...
A Rant by scarab_42011-09-01 Here's a rant to all you people who think you know every Goddamned thing... Gawd damn newbies! Yee-haw, bawy! I'ma call the next person who comes up to me a newbie and see if they cry! Howdy there, newbie! You heard it there, folks... Suck a cock!
A Tribute by scarab_42011-11-01 Here's my tribute to the Crash Test Dummies Mmm mmm mmm mmm... Mmm mmm mmm mmm... Keep on rocking, Crash Test Dummies!