All comics by sillysprout

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by sillysprout
9-10-03
Hi there sweety!
Mmm. Nice. Shame about the eyes.
I need to get out of here quick. What to make out?
Hell yeah!
I dont think the cops have spotted me yet, I've got to get out fast
Its my lucky day!

 

by sillysprout
9-10-03
Your next plan? What's that?
My next plan is world domination! Muhahaha!
Haha, you're funny. Lets make out.
No thanks, I'm still sore from last time.
Hey where did she go?
-

 

by sillysprout
9-10-03
Whats her name states the obvious
Well it looks like Joe just popped.
*dies*
Yup, he definately did.
*sizzle*
Whats her name is still set on world domination, despite the apocalypse which came about by an unknown thingy
I'm off in search of the white house. I must take over as president! This will help my demands.
Hi! I'm a talking rocket!

 

by sillysprout
9-10-03
Whats her name realises that things are going rather strange.
Oh of course! I know why things are going strange, its this time travel machine which looks like a chair. It must be stuck on random.
Tick tick tick
Oh crap this is bad!
I am megatron, ruler of planet zog. Welcome space traveller.
Whats her name gets an idea.
Will you swap your planet for one night of passion?
Definately yes.

 

by sillysprout
9-18-03
Introducting: Melvin The Mumbler
Melvin works as a door to door cutlery sales man
He doesn't sell much cutlery

 

by sillysprout
9-18-03
Suppose I should go and sell some cutlery.
Hmm.
Excuse me sir, do you wish to take a trial of our delux cutlery?
-

 

by sillysprout
9-18-03
Hello, would you like a trial of our delux cutlery?
ROAAAAAAR!
If you did decide to purchase it comes with a years warrenty.
ROAAAAAAAAAAAR!
Would you mind signing along the dotted line please?
Meh

 

by sillysprout
9-18-03
Well that didn't go too well.
I dont get it, the product is perfect, why is nobody buying?
Moo?
Yes you're right. I should move to a new location.
Moo?

 

by sillysprout
9-18-03
Melvin decides to take a different approach
Hellooooo?
Yees dear?
I've got a large knife in my suitcase I'd like to show you.
Here, take my handbag. All of my money is in there. Please dont get the knife out!
Wohooo. A sale!

 

by sillysprout
9-18-03
You young man are a disgrace to people everywhere. When I was your age I worked a 90 hour week for a half penny. Those were the days when youngsters respected the elderly.
Um.
I started work in a bottle factory. It was my job to stick labels on each of the bottles which went down the production line. Of course I was a lot quicker with my hands in those days.
It was along the production line that I met my first husband Pete. We spent many enjoyable weeks together before he got his tie stuck in the conveyor belt and made into three thousand bottles.

 

by sillysprout
9-18-03
As it was me who stuck the labels on the bottles it was I who discovered that he had passed on. I was sticking a label on a bottle and found my husbands wedding ring embedded in it.
My boss was very understanding and let me leave early that day, after I labelled the remaining bottles on the production line of course.
I'll shove her down the production line if she doesn't shut up.
But it all turned out to be a blessing in disguise. At the funeral I discovered that Pete had an identical twin! Sadly though two months later that ended in disaster too...
Stuff this. I've got a meeting with my boss tomorrow morning to discuss sales targets.

 

by sillysprout
9-18-03
The next morning...
Oh crap I overslept!
I've got to get to the office quick! I've got that meeting with my boss today to discuss sales targets in five minutes.
Eeer, which building do I work in again?

 

by sillysprout
9-19-03
After searching the city Melvin finds his office.
Hello! Sorry I'm late, I got lost.
Well you're here now. Look this isn't easy, but we're not happy with your performance so far.
Can I ask what in particular you're not happy with?
Well we're not happy with your time keeping, you seem to have no knowledge of the product and most importantly, you're yet to sell a single piece of cutlery.
I almost sold a set to an old lady yesterday!
Hey thats great! That means you almost earnt yourself £5 commission!

 

by sillysprout
9-19-03
Because you work on a commission only basis we're willing to give you another try.
But if you dont make a sale within a week I'm afraid you'll be out of here.
Thanks for giving me another chance. I've got a good feeling about this week!
We'll see.

 

by sillysprout
9-20-03
Suffering from depression caused by the risk of loosing his job Melvin goes to the pub for a few drinks
What can I get you mate?
Anything strong. Make it a double. For two.
Ok mate
Half an hour later...
Can I err have nan, anan, another of same pwease?
Sure mate. Heres another double of our strongest for two.

 

by sillysprout
9-20-03
I'm hundery. Can I ordererer some food pwease?
Sorry mate, we were robbed of all our silverware overnight. Sadly our normal suppliers recently went bust so we have been unable to order replacements.
The amount of money we're set to loose is massive. I dont know if we'll make it as a company.
He's boring me. I'm off to the chippy. Hehe I'm dizzy.
Oh dear, without food sales we'll go under within a week.

 

by sillysprout
9-20-03
Out of his mind Melvin goes on the lookout for food.
Woooah. I'm sure the chippys oveeer here something.
If you dont make a sale within a week I'm going to give you an anal probe! Muahaha!
If you dont make a sale within a week I'm going to jump on you. ALOT!

 

by sillysprout
9-20-03
If you dont make a sale within a week I'M GOING TO GET FIRED!
If you dont make a sale within a week I'll get bent!
Man I've got to find that chippy quick.
Excuse me mate. Do you know where the nearest bank is?
AAAAAAARGH!

 

by sillysprout
9-21-03
A drunk Melvin finally finds the chippy.
What can I get for ya mate?
Pwie and snips pwease.
Ah sorry mate, we can't serve pie today. We got robbed last night so we can only serve hand food.
Ergh, all I went is some foood. Does nowhere in this bloody city serve FOOD?
Sorry mate, its out of our control.
Ah, you can't tell me what to do.

 

by sillysprout
9-21-03
I guess I'll go home and get my own food.
I'm sure I've been here before.

 

by sillysprout
9-26-03
Oh man I feel bad.
Whats going on?
This can't be good.

 

by sillysprout
12-30-03
After a night which seems if it lasted for weeks, Melvin wakes up.
Argh my head. That was weird, I wonder where I am?
Oh look, a light switch.
Ah nuts.

 

by sillysprout
12-30-03
Um, excuse me sir. Would you mind letting me out?
You've got to be kidding right?
Not really. What have I done to warrant waking up in a prison cell anyway?
One count of indecent exposure, one count of being drunk and disorderly, one count of assault, one count of selling without a licence and one count of bribing a police officer
But I get bail right? Right? Whats my bail money set at?
Well taking into account that you've had no previous offences and the fact that I just found your permit to sell goods in my pocket, your bail money comes in the small sum of... Ten thousand pounds

 

by sillysprout
12-30-03
Ten thousand pounds? TEN THOUSAND POUNDS? TEN THOUSAND POUNDS?
Four minutes later
Ten thousand pounds? I dont have that sort of money! I've got to get out of prison, if I dont make a sale within a week I'll loose my job.
Sorry son but thats just the... oh wait, I overlooked the decimal point, your bail money is actually set at one hundred pounds

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