All comics by skard123

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by skard123
4-03-09
A Normal Registration Day in Hell...
Steve Mibbs. Lawyer.
Your name and your profession, please.
John Jones. Lawyer.
Your name and your profession, please.
Gary Lawson. Lawyer.
Your name and your profession, please.

 

by skard123
4-03-09
Man, that new Resident Evil game rocks!
Yeah.
I love the graphics, I love the gameplay, I love the gore, I love the zombies....
Yeah.
... I love you...
Yea- wait, what?

 

by skard123
4-03-09
You seen that new Superman headline today?
Man, I hate that Superman guy...
Why don't you go do something about it?
Yeah! Yeah, you know what, I will!
10 Minutes Later...
How did it go?
Fine.

 

by skard123
4-03-09
"Dear Simon. I'm pregnant. I think you know who the father is. Love Sophie."
I'm gonna be a Daddy!

 

by skard123
4-03-09
I've seen you around for a while, and think you're really cute, and I was just wondering...
Yes, yes! You have no idea how much I've wanted this! How about Friday...
Wow. People aren't usually so excited for being kidnapped.

 

by skard123
4-03-09
BBC News Headlines: Obama aint from
Barrack Obama left Downing Street outraged last night after an argument with Gordon Brown.
da hood which is well gay cos I reli fort
Even Gordon Brown was fuming as he left in his black Bentley early this morning.
he was but i aint racist my m8 is black.
Apparently not all black people appreciate being called 'homedawg' by the Prime Minister.

 

by skard123
4-03-09
Britney Spears Concert 2009!
Womanizer, womanizer, you're a womanizer, womanizer, womanizer, womanizer,he's a womanizer, I'm a womanizer, womanizer, womanizer...
Oh, God, make her stop!
Britney Spears Concert 2009!
Britney Spears Concert 2009!
Womanizer, womanizer, womanizer, womanizer, womanizer, womanizer, womanizer, womanizer, womanizer...
Why won't she just die!?

 

by skard123
4-03-09
Anyway, so I was just- wait a minute, how many more boxes have we got?
I think... I think only two...
No! Don't talk! Oh, god, we're gonna die... I don't wanna die, I don't wanna! J-Just, don't say anything!
Huh? Oh, cra-

 

by skard123
4-03-09
I vant to suck your bleeeeeeed!
You wonna suck my what? You're saying it weird. Say 'Blood'
BLLEEEEEEED
Blood!
Bleeeeed!

 

by skard123
4-03-09
You know, I was accepted into the finals of the 'Best Job In the World.' I just live on a Carribbean island for free!
Well, I'm a lawyer, and to be honest, I think my job is the best in the world.
A lawyer! Ha! That sucks!

 

by skard123
4-03-09
Oh, God... I think I'm gonna throw up...
Man, I hate it when that happens. Just do soemthing that'll relax you.
I feel so much better now...

 

by skard123
4-03-09
...so then we decided to try slathering it in maple syrup and wouldn't you know it, it worked like a charm!
So, what's this got to do with my daughter's graduation?

 

by skard123
4-03-09
So, what have we got here?
12 year-old girl, found dead with a note left by the murderer. It's pretty gruesome, sir.
And you said she was raped?
No, sir. Actually, we were going to wait for you to get here for that.

 

by skard123
4-03-09
Hey, Mike, is it April 1st today? I keep losing track of the days...
Yeah.
Oh, good... Now i have time to get tha-
HA! April Fools! It's actually April 2nd!

 

by skard123
4-03-09
Excuse me, sir, have you had an accident in the past three years that wasn't your fault?
Yes, she's almost one now. Would you like to hold her?

 

by skard123
4-03-09
Hmm... Yes... Very nice...
Hello?
Hello.
What are you doi-
Get in the car.

 

by skard123
4-03-09
Yee-dawgies! Finally I gots me a thing ta shoots!
Wait, aren't you an Emperor Penguin? Your habitat should be a generally cold one, since your skin is thick enough to withstand deep-diving in icy water for fish that stay in cold conditions.
Actually, for a short time my body can store the cold from my original surroundings, allowing me to keep from over-heating in this droughting wasteland. Also, I can feed from the fish in this stream.
Fucking smart-ass penguins.

 

by skard123
4-03-09
Oh, God.. We didn't...

 

by skard123
4-03-09
Wow! So what you're saying is, I should JOIN THE ARMY!
Sure, kid! Why, I JOINED THE ARMY last month, and now I have superpowers!
But I bet you don't get payed much!
Actually, I'm a billionaire! I'm a billionaire superhero!
Wow! I think me and EVERYONE ELSE ON THIS SITE should just JOIN THE ARMY!
That's right, Sarah! JOIN THE ARMY! The safest, and BEST job in the World!

 

by skard123
4-03-09
Just an ordinary German Soldier...
Soldier! Make sure that inconveniently placed tank full of RADIOACTIVE FLUID that coul dpossibly induce superpowers, but would probably kill us....
Standing in the way of an inconveniently placed Radioactive Fluid Tank that suddenly explodes somehow...
Does not...-
Transforms into the ULTIMATE Superhero...! NAZI-MAN!
Finally... Now I can dominate the world... Stopping evil criminals across the globe...

 

by skard123
4-03-09
What!? What is it!? I got here as fast as I could!
What for?
Ah, good, a member of the loyal KKK! I got a call about Racist Murder here...
Well, I don't know what to tell you, Nazi-Man...
It's terrible, terrible... Somewhere in the world a white man really is getting hurt...
Why would someone lie about that? Racism isn't a joke, it's a serious problem...

 

by skard123
4-04-09
Nazi-Man is flying through the city, when he receives a very urgent call for help!
Have no fear! Nazi-Man is here!
Nazi-Man! Thank God! That man over there is Jewish! What can we do?
Don't worry, Timmy! I have a FINAL SOLUTION!
Yay! Nazi-Man rules!

 

by skard123
4-04-09
Excuse me, are you the supervillian 'Nazi-Man'?
Super-HERO, my good sir!
Right... Look, I represent the government, and I'm just here to tell you, you can't just go around committing all these racist hate crimes. In the passed 3 days you have killed 300 Jewish People.
I'm afraid, sir, that none can stop me from fulfilling my duty! I am saving the world!
Look, if you kill one more person AT ALL, we'll be all over your arse before you can say Goebbels.
... gay sonofabitch..

 

by skard123
4-04-09
Well, I SURE HOPE NOBODY STOPS ME GETTING THIS JEWISH MAN...!
Ha! I knew you wasn't a Jewish Man! Nobody can stop I, Nazi-Man!
I'll be back...

 

by skard123
4-04-09
Look, God, we're repossessing your houses around the world. You've been behind on your taxes for 2 years now.
Oh, come on! We both know those taxes are ludicrous!
AND! If you'll let me talk, Mr. God! You are paying the government for 17 people in this house, but I have seen at least a thousand on my visit here! You're lucky you haven't got a prison sentence...
They're just visiting!
Don't lie to me, God! I've been in one of your houses. You're preaching eternal life, and last I checked that sure as hell isn't a visit.
Look, I'm not good with this... I've just been stressed lately, y'know? I mean, there has been a 75% rise in lawyers in the passed 10 years! I'm losing customers!

 

by skard123
4-04-09
Ah, yes, Mr. Jesus. Your father recommended seeing you about the rent on Heaven, but I need to see you anyway...
Right...
You haven't paid for the rent on your hut in Nazareth for a long time.
What! That's ridiculous! I haven't been there for 2009 years!
Regardless of when you were last there, you still own it. You can skip death, Mr. Jesus, but you can't cheat the Government. See you in court.

 

by skard123
4-05-09
Anyway, I'm gonna go get a coffee.
Wait, you can't leave... You're in a comic.
Right... so what's stopping me from leaving?
The creator will delete you.
Goddamnit...
Oh, come on, dude! I only chased after him! Why did you burn me too!?

 

by skard123
4-05-09
Have no fea- wait, what the fuck!?
What's wrong?
Are you... are you black or white?
Why does it matter?
I'm a Nazi? Kind of compulsory to be racist... So, You're probably more bl- Goddamnit!

 

by skard123
4-05-09
After a week of searching for the mysterious white-black bird, Nazi-Man finally succeeds in finding it!
Finally! You have no idea where I've looked for you!
Excuse me?
I worked out, you're more black than white... Wow! I feel like weight's been lifted, really...
I think you may have me confused with someone el-
Another good deed done!

 

That was the best Easter Egg Hunt EVER.
by skard123, 4-08-09

 

by skard123
4-08-09
I wonder what the author will make us do today...
The what?
Author...? Oh, come on! Every character here knows they're in a comic!
Right... In a 'comic'. So I guess right now we're in three boxes in our own little comic strip, and I guess I can never drop this coffee or move my arm.
That's right...
You really gotta get some help, Charlie.

 

by skard123
4-08-09
No, really, James, we're in a comic! We're jsut part of a large collection of comic strips on this website!
Oh, yeah? Prove it...
Put your coffee down.
I don't want to put my coffee down! I like my coffee as it is!
Why won't you believe me!?
Because you're probably drunk. You're not getting out of doing that report for me by tomorrow, Charlie.

 

by skard123
4-08-09
Max! Max, I've got to talk to you!
Charlie? What's up?
James doesn't know that we're in a comic.
A comic?

 

by skard123
4-08-09
Hey, you! You know that you're in a comic, right?
Oh, you poor, poor man!
You! We're in a comic, right? I mean, you're a stickman because the author couldn't get any other characters in a car!
I'm not a stickman, you crazy asshole!
WHY DOESN'T ANYBODY KNOW THAT WE'RE IN A COMIC!?
Get a job, Loony!

 

by skard123
4-08-09
... and so now no one knows that we're in a comic. I mean, most of what I just said was missed because there aren't enough boxes.
OK... Sir, I think you should come with me before you hurt somebody...
But that's the thing! I can't! We only have one box left after this, and I can't hurt somebody with just one box!
Oh, crap...
Get this man in a jacket!

 

by skard123
4-08-09
... And so for the past 5 years I've been fighting sanity in a mental institution, and I've come here to finally be washed of my sins and be considered sane.
Wow... The author must really hate you...

 

by skard123
4-08-09
Oh no.
We crashed.
On an island.
Help us.

 

by skard123
4-15-09
OK... Last hole... If I can get this one, I will be the greatest golfer in the office, and you will leave this course HUMILIATED.
Sonofabitch...

 

Muncher.
by skard123, 5-02-09

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