All comics by stealthweasel

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by stealthweasel
2-10-04
DJ Asmo here, laying down some phat beats and embarassingly outdated slang for y'all.
Yo, it's MC Trav, biggin' it up for just 50p extra! Seriously, guv, if you've any spare change...?
Word, peeps! Electrical Fire in the hizzouse!
That has to be the worst rapper alias I've ever heard.
It's not so much a rapper alias as it is a detailed warning.

 

by stealthweasel
2-12-04
This guy walked into a bar... ouch! He unexpectedly died of a horrible disease! You humans do that kind of thing, right?
Tabathon, you're meant to be using the intercom to warn everyone about the fire, not for ZANY FREESTYLE COMEDY.
It doesn't work like that! You have to get the audience to identify with you first, then you incorporate your message into the act!
So, have you heard the one about your imminent fiery deaths?

 

by stealthweasel
2-13-04
Hey, Asmo, would you reinforce that special bond you have with Tabathon by hitting him repeatedly?
Yes.
Why, you ask? He's disregarding basic safety regulations and refusing to demand an evacuation!
Oh, no problem there. Everyone rushed to the escape pods 30 seconds into his routine.
Just like every other club I've played.

 

by stealthweasel
2-13-04
It's Friday the 13th, puny humans! I wonder if anything unlucky is going to happen?
Anything unlucky? We're standing in a disintegrating spacecraft in orbit around a hostile planet, and all the escape pods have been launched!
You're just expecting bad luck, so you're making a big deal out of the kind of thing that happens to us every day.
The worrying thing is that you're right.

 

by stealthweasel
11-22-05
Fun Fact: in times of scarcity, you can be punched in the crotch.
I'm tired of your shit, Uncle Disembodied-Arm. I'm striking out on my own.
SO HE TOTALLY DOES
I can't believe I'm finally starring in a successful Broadway musical written by a sentient plant!
Nothing rhymes with that! You're fired (from the successful Broadway musical written by a sentient plant).
AND BY THE LIGHT OF THE MOON, THE WIZARD CASTS HIS SPELL
Social situations can be awkward if you say or do the wrong thing! HENCE, COMEDY.

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