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| Thirsty Susan Slutey made it out of a long, dark, windy cave mere moments ago. | |
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| Let's go to our reporter on the street, Bill Clinton. | |
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| How did you find your way out and still get something to drink in the process? | |
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| My boyfriend came back and dropped semen-filled glow-in-the-dark condoms every 10 feet. Most of the men from town donated with their used condoms. | |
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| Well, I guess you're filled up then? | |
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| Not quite. Drinking out of latex is taxing and made me sweat. Would YOU be willing to make a direct donation? | |
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