All comics by sumosalesman

 

by sumosalesman
5-08-09
I've given your proposal a lot of thought. A niche user network where people can collectively design nautical woodwork, worldwide...
But I just don't think there would be enough financial support for "World of Oarcraft". I'm sorry.
:(

 

by sumosalesman
5-08-09
What the *@$!?
The world has ended, child. Massive economic failures disabled all safeguards of civilization and heaven's not doing so hot either, with all eternal benefits packages reduced 90%.
I'll trade my share of the afterlife for a clean shirt and the profit sharing my dirtbag boss cheated me out of.
My work here is done.
Gee, thanks. Hey wait, where's my &#$*ing cash?

 

by sumosalesman
5-08-09
Ah crap.
What is it?
Government says they're repossessing everything. House, car, all my bank accounts and businesses. Even our identities? They can't do that can they, Bug?
Who?

 

by sumosalesman
5-08-09
Hey.
Hello, nice to meet you.
What?
Uh... how's it bangin'. What's the dilly, yo. Fo' shizzle. Gimme the 411. Drop the hype.
Oh, nice to meet you. I have my iPod on, I couldn't hear you.

 

by sumosalesman
5-13-09
Dude, you look like an elf in my guild.
My ex was a Warcraft whore. Fuck you.
Dude, you look like a certain troop commander in COH.
I'm yours.

 

Yeah, you know that show "The Biggest Loser"? I'm in charge of the random weigh-in numbers. Well, just the 289s. But I can introduce you to the crew sometime.
by sumosalesman, 5-19-09

 

We don't think you're overqualified, underqualified, or a liability to this company. However, we do think you're a doody-doody dumbhead.
by sumosalesman, 5-19-09

 

How can you claim to have a Cooking skill of 400 and still burn ALL the rice?
by sumosalesman, 5-19-09

 

If I want your opinion I'll sit down, log in, Google "drama queen", pick the most mediocre blog, scroll down, click on the last comment and read you bitching about something on your Facebook.
Twitter. fool, Twitter. Get with the '09s.
by sumosalesman, 5-19-09

 

by sumosalesman
5-19-09
How old am I? Our computer room just had one computer. How about you?
Oh... I graduated from the last school year where geeks were officially not cool.

 

That is SO disagreeist.
by sumosalesman, 5-19-09

 

I'm sorry. My mind says sex but my body says TV.
by sumosalesman, 5-19-09

 

What can I do for you today, Karen?
I'd like to trade in my feelings of positive empowerment, high self-esteem and belonging for some goddamned cash.
by sumosalesman, 5-19-09

 

I bought the newest anti-cheating software. After he visits a certain number of adult websites, it loads a video of me shouting "LOSER!"
by sumosalesman, 5-19-09

 

Either a bird, a cow and a gallon of milk got trapped in the air conditioning shaft last week, or you need to cut out the Mexican at lunch.
by sumosalesman, 5-19-09

 

I just put a note on Jason's door. It says "Collect Laundry: 0/12, Obtain Detergent: 0/1, and Activate 3 Wash Cycles: 0/3".
Sounds good, but I hope he doesn't Abandon Quest.
by sumosalesman, 5-19-09

 

by sumosalesman
7-06-09
Hey hun, I think I'm gonna go grab a snack.
Okay. Do you think you could finally use that meatloaf from last Friday's party?
10 minutes later...
That stuff smelled pretty funny. I hope it didn't...
To be continued...
... turn.
When are you coming to bed?

 

You look nothing like
Your web photo.
by sumosalesman, 7-19-09

 

by sumosalesman
7-19-09
Hello Christina. I walked 16 miles home because I didn't want to run up extra mileage on your car since all your money goes to staying high as a kite. We're over. *Click*
@^&*!@^ !@&^!@*&!@% wawawazoboz@@@(!*!@ zibbledoibmapanoooopa
oooomopppampazzzgillas aewee poparillpo zobozogspap pumbalbreeeoooo That boy needs to quit working on his computer and get a real job like mieoeio z sagabzooooona whew i'm almost out of sttufufuffffff

 

You gonna eat that?
by sumosalesman, 7-22-09

 

I'm sorry, we don't hire the unemployed.
by sumosalesman, 8-08-09

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