All comics by tetsuo

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by tetsuo
6-29-01
The Goddess of Fire has answered my prayers!
Blaze high fires of eternal creation! Grant me powers over all of creation!!
Crap...
Are you single?

 

by tetsuo
6-29-01
Howdy partner! You ain't seen a cute, little lost sheep 'round here, have ya?
The oxygen content of this atmosphere contains insufficient quantities of oxygen. It is 99.9% likely that your sheep's life cycle has been terminated.
Shoot, that's too bad...she's a little more lively in the sack when she's breathin'.

 

by tetsuo
6-29-01
Say! Has anyone ever told you you were well-hung!
You think that's impressive, take a look at this!
What is it?
It's my tapeworm...isn't he a beaut?
Why do I always get the weirdos?
So, you wanna go out for sushi later? (heheh)

 

by tetsuo
6-29-01
Prepare to shuffle off this mortal coil and meet your true master in the Underworld!
Oh twisted fate! Swept away in the spring of my youth! Uncouthly accosted by grim Death when I have yet to truly experience the quiet joy of life!
Quit skawking pussy! Your bitch ass is up for the chop!
...

 

by tetsuo
6-29-01
ONE DAY, OUT ON THE FARM...
...
What'cha doin' Stinky?
I'm lookin' for mah dinkle...it's itsie-bitsie and kinda looks like a one-eyed hairless mouse.
Did'cha check behind the barn? Thought I saw me a rat back there while I was feedin' the chickens...
Hey, you got a purty mouth........Squeel boy!
Hmm...where could it'a run off to?

 

by tetsuo
6-29-01
Hiroshima...after the bomb
It is unfortunate that the Imperialistic American dogs were the first to develop the H-Bomb.
Yes, thanks to unethical scientific research, we can now look forward to birthing mutant freaks...like the French.
If it were not for the scorching levels of radiation in the air, I might have had a clever reply to that jab.
Quickly, let us build automobiles and DVD players...the Americans shall feel their knees buckle under the might of our superior work ethics.

 

by tetsuo
6-29-01
New York City, April 2013
What's the dilly, yo?
I am the Four Horsemen of the Apocolypse! Prepare your pathetic mind for immediate annihilation!
Four? I only see you and me standin' here...and I sure-as-shit ain't no Horseman.
!!!
Who said I can count?

 

by tetsuo
6-29-01
SOMEWHERE, IN IOWA...
Wow! A real-life Grey! I always knew you were real! Wait 'till the guys in my physics class hear this...
Greetings Carbon-based Life Form. I am certain your pathetic intellect would be delighted by a guided tour our space-travelling, saucer-shaped craft.
Coool...can I fly it?
Perhaps later, would you like to view my nocturnal resting quarters first? I am sure your meager interests would be aroused by such an event.
Mwahahah! Fool, now it is time for you to experience the grey box!
Alright! I was wondering when you'd stop fucking around and get to the anal probe!...(Grey box, I thought it was a guy, hmm)

 

by tetsuo
6-29-01
News Channel 30 is happy to bring you the latest in important local news broadcasts...from our family to yours!!
On 2nd Avenue today, a fatal car wreck snuffed the lives out of 2 children - ages 7 and 12 - both of their parents, a small boston terrier, 2 semi-truck drivers, a wood duck...
3 hours later...
...a bus full of nuns, a con-artist, a microscopic universe under the fingernail of the latter, several billion microbes, a Grey, and yours truly. Have a great afternoon!

 

by tetsuo
6-29-01
Howdy! I'm boy president George Bush Jr! I'm out to defend the Free World from disgusting alien Commies like youself!
There is no greater threat to the economic potency of America, than the Fascist, Marxist invasion of Commie Reds from abroad.
But I'm from Texas....
......like I said, there's no greater threat to the Free World than...
Where's my cattle-prod?

 

by tetsuo
6-29-01
Good afternoon, little girl. I am your Lord and Savior. Do not be alarmed by my appearance, as it is merely a reflection of your own subconscious masochistic/sadistic tendencies.
...
As a matter of fact, I didn't even exist in real-life, but was developed from a myriad of different mythos - Greek, Nordic, Roman included - to help expediate the Roman Catholics rise to power.
...
And that's not half of it, because of your deep paranoia over the fabricated tales regarding the "afterlife," your entire society has been mired in meme of trememdous proportions, so as to possibly...
Yeah, whatever, are you a pedophile?

 

by tetsuo
6-29-01
Wow, check out all the porn! I'm glad I finally bought a decent system.
"sex+perverted+midget" - 2,402,235 Returns
Oh baby! This is great! Instant access to as much humping, naked flesh as I can handle.
http://www.sex-midget.com/anal/horses/ barn.html
Where's my lube?
I think your girlfriend left it at the neighbor's house...wanna see more horses?

 

by tetsuo
6-29-01
ONE WARM MORNING...
I'm really sick of this job...I've been doing it for years and what do I have to show for it?...Nothing! That's what!
Well, what about...
I mean, at least the big guy gets some respect! I end up with the rag-tag, lunatic fringe of society worshipping me. You could barely pass the SAT's with the combined IQ of MY followers!
There's always...
I mean, Christ, where do I have to send my resume to get a decent 401K plan?...sorry, what were you saying?
Wanna go eat Plato's liver again?

 

by tetsuo
6-29-01
Now it is time for Ingsoc's Social Engineering Hour. Please turn your television volume up to its highest setting...
...good, now allow your inner-self to become like the reed in the wind...focus on everything and nothing....allow all thoughts to slip away into the Void...
!
NOW CRY LIKE A BABY, YOU WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT! YOU ARE NOTHING, NOTHING! THE WORLD HATES YOU! DIE, DIE, DIE!!!

 

by tetsuo
6-29-01
What are we doing again?
We're waiting for Godot.
Oh.

 

'
by tetsuo
6-29-01
ONE DAY...
Wow!
Doh!
THE NEXT DAY...
Wow!
Doh!
THE DAY AFTER NEXT...
Wow!
Doh!

 

by tetsuo
6-29-01
Take me to your leader
Ok, u want thuh real one, or that Bush dude who doesn't really do anything?
so...you are earth's leader?
Aacck! who told you? Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain! Aaacckk! I am psycho..must...go...watch Godzilla...eek!
Great news, high commander,! Their real leader is actually smarter than Bush, but I think it will no problem taking over earth if we just leave a trail of peanut m&m's to the spaceship and trap him!

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