All comics by timxcampbell

 

by timxcampbell
1-07-01
Sunday Morning, Church
I think I'll blaspheme and see what happens!
Hey, I don't believe in you!
Hello? Oh, crap, it's just a statue
This "faith" stuff is getting a bit old

 

by timxcampbell
1-07-01
So I said, Hey! You can't interface an RS-232 with a USB!
I kin dig it
And then he started talking about multi-tasking! Multi-tasking, I tell ya!
Like he'd know more about that than ME! Give me a break.
How can you humans expect to create decent technology? You're just useless, I tell ya!
Well, we seem to have perfected the "Kvetch" chip.

 

by timxcampbell
1-07-01
Hi, there, reader! I'm a completely useless Low Pass comic strip character!
None of my variants actually interact with the other characters! I just stand here smirking at you.
You have now seen my entire repetoire of expressions!
Why is she ignoring me!? I'm a DOG ON A BALL!

 

by timxcampbell
1-07-01
One day at a hip coffee shop
That guy looks pretty cool...
Dum dee dumdee deedle daddle dum ... whaa! Hep, hep! Oh, yeah, daddio!
I don't think he'd find my life very interesting.
Hoo, yeah. Bop de bop. Zippy zappy yow!
Our hero makes a startling discovery...
Uh ... you like playing Doom?
Doom de doom da deedle doodle da!

 

by timxcampbell
1-07-01
Wassup, dude! You new in da hood?
Yo, dude! Yeah, I just moved in! Are the kids here cool?
Nah, they're all boring losers.
I hear ya.
Bunch o' lame conformists!
They should be more like us...

 

by timxcampbell
1-07-01
This is Chin Lo, reporting from the Great Wall of China... Back to you, Chet.
Why do they always send Orientals to report on Oriental news?
Well, Miss Lo, maybe they figure you won't be taken hostage.
Ha ha ha ... that's pretty funny!
So ... are you ready to read our ultimatum?

 

by timxcampbell
1-07-01
One fine day on Calvary
This martyr stuff really sucks.
I could have been a carpenter, but noOOOoooo . . . . Good thing I have enough magic powers left for one last miracle!
Ah, heck, there's nothing interesting over here, either!

 

by timxcampbell
1-07-01
Hi, there, reader! Do you know what that roughly dog-shaped object is, over to my left?
I can't stand not knowing what the heck it is! I've got to DO something! Take some kind of positive ACTION!
What were we talking about?

 

by timxcampbell
1-08-01
One dismal day, at the saloon
This town ain't big enough for the two of us, pardner!
Dem's fightin' words!
I oughta warn ya, I'm the fastest gun West o' the Pecos!
I'm the fastest gun FROM the Pecos!
Damn, he called my bluff!
You don't even know where the Pecos ARE, do you?

 

by timxcampbell
1-08-01
I challenge you to a dual at high noon, ye low-down varmint!
Of course I'm "low down" -- I'm only 12!
Never mind that. High noon. Be there.
But that's my nap time!
"If'n y'wanna be a gunslinger," they said,"start small." Tarnation, they wuz no help at all.
Do you have a horsie?

 

by timxcampbell
1-08-01
Somewhere, deep in the forest...
Don't I know you from a past life?
I don't believe in that crap!
Let me have a closer look...
Don't give me that New Age mumbo-jumbo about reincarnation!
Adolph?
Josef!?

 

by timxcampbell
1-08-01
It's GOOD to be back at the factory!
Say, are you a MALE robot or a FEMALE robot?
Huh? Robots don't HAVE a sex!
Yes, I know that, but most of these comics diverge into sex in the first frame.
Well, THAT's pretty silly!
Apparently most of the readers want to plug into something other than the Internet.

 

by timxcampbell
1-08-01
Visit China!
See our lovely landscape!
See the Great Wall!
You were SUPPOSED to leave that one for LAST!
They all KNOW we have a Great Wall!
They don't ALL know ... 90% of our readers are American.

 

by timxcampbell
1-08-01
Hey, let's climb this mountain!
I don't DIG physical exercise, girlie!
There's a smaller mountain over there, then...
Dig this, mini-chick: I climb mountains IN MY MIND, okay?
Your powers of rationalization are amazing.
Practice, baby, practice.

 

by timxcampbell
1-08-01
Where'd I put the peanut butter?
Hi! I'm the token minority in this comic strip!
Come to think of it, where's the bread?
Minorities seldom get the really funny lines, you know.
I guess I'll just have to eat that kid over there.
This demonstrates an appalling lack of sensitivity.

 

by timxcampbell
1-08-01
One day, at Low Pass Comix...
What a dull background!
Yeah, the "trees" background is MUCH prettier!
Hey, what happened to the color?
I have a bad feeling about this...
Oh, great ... now were adrift in nothingness!
Welcome to the World Wide Web!

 

by timxcampbell
1-08-01
Another day at the coffee shop...
He looks cool ... but I doubt he's even noticed me.
Ø
Another day at the coffee shop...
I'll bet somebody like that has a really interesting life...
ø
Another day at the coffee shop...
He looks like an artist ... I'll bet he's really sensitive!
Hey, boobies!

 

by timxcampbell
1-08-01
I will now demonstrate my awesome powers!
Eep!
Behold!
Guess who's a small Asian woman?
Sometimes you really annoy me, God!
I move in mysterious ways.

 

by timxcampbell
1-08-01
Wow! A real cowboy!
Cowboys are SO cool!
You don't say much, do you?
Where the @#$% is my horse!?

 

by timxcampbell
1-08-01
We join our story, already in progress...
Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in Paradise. (Luke 23:43)
That's mighty BIG of you, Jesus.
Hey, no problem.
Umm, aren't you supposed to remain dead for 3 days? How can you make a promise about TODAY?
Jesus does some fast thinking...
Truly I tell you today, you will be with me in Paradise.
Oh, great ... you moved the comma.

 

by timxcampbell
1-08-01
Hi! I'm the current default left-side character in Low Pass' Comic Strip Creator!
I'm the default RIGHT-side character!
Whenever you see the two of us, you know the "artist" isn't trying very hard.
It's true!
Oh, like THAT's gonna help!

 

by timxcampbell
1-08-01
Some readers have objected to the allegation that God is a small Asian woman
I, fer one, always figgered God wuz an Amurrican
Still, the most common form of human life is small Asian women!
Hmm... kinda makes ya think, don't it?
Isn't it likely he'd look like the most common kind of human life?
But ... I've seen MOVIES!

 

by timxcampbell
1-08-01
The Japanese believe mankind was created via the separation of a cosmic singularity into the Ying and the Yang
That's just a silly myth
Some people believe life was put on Earth by aliens from another galaxy
What a ridiculous notion!
Some nuts believe God created us 6000 years ago in the garden of Eden
Hey, that's a scientific FACT!

 

by timxcampbell
1-08-01
"You may already have won one MILLION dollars."
Yeah, I got the same stupid letter
Y'know, sometimes I wonder if Ed McMahon invented spam
Wait a sec ... there's a footnote here, in teensy little letters!
What does it say? It's too small for me to make out.
"It is entirely possible that somebody, somewhere, has awarded you a million dollars."

 

by timxcampbell
1-08-01
Hmm, there's a severed horse head in my bed...
X
... and the girls are coming over any minute now ... no time to clean up!
Hmm... "Horse Head Chic" ...

 

by timxcampbell
1-09-01
Why is it that every guy I go out with turns out to be a loser?
I'm soOOooo (burrrp) drunk.
Abracadabra, Thingamawidget ... Give me a man, who isn't an idiot!
Where are my car keys?
~ swoon ~
Lance Studdly, at your service, ma'am.

 

by timxcampbell
1-09-01
Look! The headwaters of the river Styx! It's the entrance to the underworld!
Ooo! I wanna meet Charon! Can we descend to Hades? Can we? Can we?
You mean like Sisyphus? Sure! Let's go!
Wait a sec ... isn't this a bit esoteric for a comic strip?
I thought the interplay of the mythopoetic and the profane would be an illuminating contradistinction
Everybody's gonna vote -5 -- but we have a good shot at the Pulitzer!

 

by timxcampbell
1-09-01
So I says to this guy, I says, Hey! What YOU doing here? That's what I says.
Is it possible he doesn't know I'm a donkey?
And HE says ... listen, you'll love this part ... HE says ... wait a sec, what DID he say?
This has been going on for three and half HOURS, now
The mystery resolves itself...
Well, never mind that. The POINT is, you see, the point of what I'm tryin' to SAY, y'see... is ... wait a sec...
Just feed me the damn sugar cube, already!

 

by timxcampbell
1-09-01
Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Buddy!
Buddy who?
SOMEbuddy!
Live from New York! It's Saturday Night!

 

by timxcampbell
1-09-01
Dad, can I borrow the car?
Hmmm....
You asked me that 20 minutes ago!
Yeah, but you said to ask you again when I'm older!
Ohmigod, I've teleported into a "Family Circus" cartoon!

 

by timxcampbell
1-11-01
One...
Hmm, the line is dead...
Two...
Hey, we're having a blast!
And finally...
Enough with the dieting already!

 

by timxcampbell
1-12-01
We're the last human beings left on Earth!
Mutation is a bitch, isn't it?
Look on the bright side: at least we're alive
So I guess it's up to us to repopulate the planet!
Uhh ... I hope you're male
Not a problem -- I've got three of everything!

 

by timxcampbell
1-12-01
Tweet
"Tweet"!?
Moo?
Are you trying to master a foreign language or something?
Look, I'm blue and I'm huge. I've got issues.

 

by timxcampbell
1-12-01
~~ RrrRRrring ~~
Probably just some phone solicitor. I hate them.
~~ RrrRRrring ~~
Or a bill collector. Those cold-hearted bastards.
I'm lonely.

 

by timxcampbell
1-12-01
Take me to your leader!
I knew you'd say that!
(~SIGH~) NOW take me to your leader!
I thought you aliens were supposed to have progressed beyond violence?
When in Rome, do as the Romans do!
Just our luck he had to land in Detroit!

 

by timxcampbell
1-10-05
What's the meaning of life?
You know those little packets of ketchup? That's it.
Ketchup? That's it? That's the meaning of life?
With 10 to the power of 500 universes, all the good meanings were taken.
I'm so disillusioned.
We wuz robbed. The universe next door got "Eternal Verity".

 

by timxcampbell
7-23-05
As you suggested, I asked my psychic if her powers were real.
Interesting. What did she say?
She said I was clearly on an important spiritual journey.
So she didn't answer your question.
Actually, she offered me 50% off if I didn't ask that question again.
Ah, so she DID answer your question!

 

by timxcampbell
5-26-10
I've searched all over for the answer. Art, music, religion, science, philosophy ...
I've carefully studied Zen and stared at a wall for hours on end ... I've tried everything I can THINK of ...
And still ... it's like life is moving too fast for me to FIND myself.
Would things look different if YOU stopped moving?

 

by timxcampbell
5-26-10
TONIGHT they will recognize my genius!
NOW they will understand what TRUE CREATIVITY is!
Who else but ME would think of playing "Stairway to Heaven" reggae style?

 

by timxcampbell
5-26-10
You goin' shopping AGAIN, Sis?
Yeah! There's a big sale at the mall.
But we're already behind on the rent!
I know, I know ... but ...
Do they have something we desperately NEED?
I'll say! I need something that's 50% off!

 

by timxcampbell
5-27-10
We've been wandering this cave for hours. Let's face it: we're lost and we're going to die.
I guess I'm okay with that. I think about death all the time. I respect it, too.
Still, I could use more time to perfect the whole emo-goth thing.

 

by timxcampbell
6-06-10
Do you hear something?
Yeah. A kind of rumbling...
Well, heck, this is kinda bad.
Maybe. Maybe not.
How can this be a good thing?
For one thing ... no school tomorrow.

 

by timxcampbell
6-06-10
Hello. Please give me some nuts.
You can talk?
Yes. Would you please give me some nuts?
As a talking squirrel, you could go on TV and make lots of money.
Then you could BUY all the nuts you want.
Is that a complicated way of saying you won't give me nuts?

 

by timxcampbell
6-06-10
U.S.A.! U.S.A.! Rah rah rah!
Hey, cheerleader! Are you aware you're a programmed lacky of the military-industrial complex?
America! America! Love it or leave it!
Hmm. This requires a more subtle approach.
You're not as thin as a supermodel!
*--- TRIP ---*

 

by timxcampbell
6-07-10
Open mike night at the comedy club ... do I dare?
Hey, there, folks! I just flew in from Toronto, and wow, are my arms tired!
You suck!
This mike isn't very open.

 

by timxcampbell
6-09-10
Okay, the fax machine is fixed.
Can't talk ... busy.
Is that ... an elf on your screen?
Just ... one ... more ... level ...
I take it your manager is at lunch.

 

by timxcampbell
6-09-10
All right! The White House!
Yeah. Wanna buy some drugs?
No, I don't want to buy drugs.
That's okay. I don't have any.
Then what are you doing here?
I'm supposed to rally support for the War on Drugs.

 

by timxcampbell
6-09-10
I used to believe, but then I stopped.
I thought I'd go to hell for not believing. I guess I got over all that.
Isn't there something bigger than me?

 

by timxcampbell
6-16-10
Is that an old cell phone?
No, no ... I'm a Trekker!
So that would be ... a hyperwarp communications device?
A fake one, yes.
As opposed to the non-ficitonal variety?
Well, it does make the genuine sound effects!

 

by timxcampbell
6-16-10
Been waiting long for the bus?
No.
I think I see it coming!
That's nice, but I'm not waiting for the bus.
So what are you doing here?
Repeatedly having this conversation.

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