All comics by tkopp

 

In the beginning... by tkopp 6-03-01
It all started as an assignment. Benign. Simple. So I'm supposed to make a project as long as a peice of string? Here it comes...	But how much string? String comes in many lengths. Why, you could wrap a string around your finger, for rememberance. Or crate a mountain of string. But that would be huge! What's on Comedy Central?	And so it began... So, how long should my string be? Come on, you're the smart one. You get things done on time. Tell me how much work I have to do, and I'll do it! Alright. I'll tell you how much string you need. Just enough to hang yourself by.

 

Sleep deprivation can make you say the strangest things by tkopp 6-03-01
... What's your problem?	Hang myself? But I cound't do that! I mean, I'm in IB because I'm smart enough to avoid masochism, right?	WHAT!? Heh heh heh. That's pretty good. You never mentioned you were a comedian.

 

Was it all for naught? by tkopp 6-03-01
The International Baccalaureate program isn't that bad, is it? I mean, I was able to learn so much, and prepare myself for the future. Him again?	Listen. The University of Washington doesn't care about IB. You're going to retake calculus anyway, and you're going to be an engineer! What differance does it make si vous parlez le francais?	Uh, well... Give me a minute. It will come to me. Sure. While you're thinking I'll be playing Diablo2. You let me know.

 

Words to live by by tkopp 6-03-01
Alright, how about this. The IB program made me a better person. OK. So you know more the Nazis than you would have in another class. Maybe you even learned more about the human reproductive system than you ever wanted to. Who cares if Hamlet were trully mad?	I am way out of my league... If you're never going to use that knowledge, it doesn't matter. Since you're the idiot who wrote a 45 page report for a BS class, why don't you go do the assignment while I surf the net?	Why are you always wasting time? You never do anything worthwhile. How do you expect to grow to your expectations? Wise man say, the tallest blade of grass is the first to be cut by the lawnmower. Besides, hard work often pays off over time, but laziness pays off now.

 

That's gratitude for you by tkopp 6-03-01
10:00pm How do I convince him that it wasn't a waste? How can I make him change his ways?	5:30am A study on the usefulness of IB and how it relates to life. This is perfect! This is my thesis!	Later that day There! It took all night, but I wrote a detailed analysis of exactly why the IB program is useful and applicable to everyday life. That's nice. Drop it on my desk and I'll get back to you a few months after you've pinned your life on the results.

 

The Quest by tkopp 6-03-01
Wow. That essay was so insightful. According to it, I am a critical thinker. I have an international understanding. I am a lifelong learner. And which web site did you find this article on?	www.ibo.org Dude, you got gypped. That's the IB home page.	But... My thesis? Come along, lad. Let's kick butt and take names. Nobody dashes our hopes (however indirectly) and gets away with it!

 

Is this a good idea? by tkopp 6-03-01
Where are we headed, exactly? The IB headquarters, of course. We're going to tear the place apart.	Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't it headquartered in Switzerland? He's right... But I can't admit that I'm wrong.	I'm not walking to Switzerland. Get back here! You cannot just walk away from a sacred quest! I wasn't going to do this, but I see I have no choice. We shall summon an IB examiner from the darkest pits of Hell.

 

The book of evil. Handy, that. by tkopp 6-03-01
I don't know about this... Alright, I'll just pull out my handy pocket necronomicon. Let's see... Build an evil empire, make a pact with Barney... There it is. Summon evil.	I think I'll watch this from a safe distance. Good luck. Pansy. What could go wrong? We're summoning an introverted, twisted little man who takes delight in crushing the hopes and dreams of the motivated students of the world.	Uh... What's the minimum safe distance for stupidity? Fine! Have it your way! I'll have vengence by myself then!

 

Meeting the demon by tkopp 6-04-01
Dark clouds permeate the sky as the words are spoken. Let's see here. Sayeth the name of thine evil thou wouldst summon, and sayeth the cursed words.	Thunder cracks as the demon emerges from a flame-ringed portal IB examiner. Klaatu, Barada, Nicto You rang?	Oh (^%$9

 

The classic battle of Good and Evil? by tkopp 6-04-01
I'll see you in Hell, vile spawn of Satan! How right you are.	The ray-gun! It's not working! Oh no...	That was easy.

 

The Truth by tkopp 6-04-01
Jesus! Yes?	But... But I was a safe distance away! The demon didn't even set me on fire! Why am I here and not the alien? You were wise to take shelter from the demon, yet you forgot that the alien and yourself are one and the same. This reality is merely a reflection of the inner mind, in which you play but one part.	Wow... Just as hallucinations come with lack of sleep, strange effects come from the inner mind. Basically, reality here is more strained than Bill Clinton's marriage.

 

Ressurection, or how to get rid of an annoyance. by tkopp 6-04-01
Jesus? You're the son of God. You sacrificed yourself for our sins. You are the holiest man alive. Why are you nailed to a cross while Satan walks freely among men? ...		You didn't answer my question... It is time for you to return to the land of the living, now.

 

Fini by tkopp 6-04-01
I have an answer for you. Oh, brother. I was sure I'd ditched this guy last time...	Revenge doesn't work. It hurts everyone, like World War Two and the Nazis. Life is a miracle, and Hamlet's sanity is subjective, like the rest of reality. Riiiight. I'll be over here playing some Counterstrike if you get any more revelations.	Success.

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