All comics by tracheattack

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by tracheattack
1-21-03
It's times like these when all i can think about is how much i hate my father.
and finally, as though God Himself has come down and shown me the luminescent glow i've long since forgotten at the end of such a painful and devastating journey through introspective realization...
... i finally realize...
i hate my mother too.

 

by tracheattack
1-21-03
i always regret biting off my thumbnail
none of the other ones though
just the thumbnail

 

by tracheattack
1-21-03
what are you playing?
hide and go seek
man, i wish there were four frames, cause what i'm about to say is hilarious.

 

by tracheattack
1-21-03
if you would like me to party, go to frame 3. If you would like me to shovel, go to frame 2.
fuck
if you would like me to party like a maniac, go to frame 2.

 

by tracheattack
1-22-03
no, really, i can fix it.
fuck this man, i'm playing Grape Escape

 

by tracheattack
1-22-03
mmpf...hehehehe
..heheh...shh shh... we could get in so much trouble for this!....

 

by tracheattack
1-22-03
what happens in the darkness stays in the darkness.
holy shit

 

by tracheattack
1-22-03
A FILM BY JERRY BRUCKHEIMER

 

by tracheattack
1-23-03
but i really think we could work things out, we just need to try a little harder.
yeah, ok, bitch
who the fuck are you, Garfield?

 

by tracheattack
1-25-03
i'll sell you a rocket for a dollar
fuck that, i already have two

 

by tracheattack
1-26-03
[e7kkl] HEY 00t! Look at that id107---l000t!!
hahaha [talking like 0ld guy---] wut do u want--00t???!
t33k wuut! changed 2 micorofone!!
tuff!!! haha!!!!
w00t gone!!!.,.

 

by tracheattack
2-06-03
Wow, it's great to finally meet you. Oh, shit... hold on one second.
dropped my contact...
there we go
One of these days you'll love me! You'll see! You'll all see!!

 

by tracheattack
2-06-03
dude, that's my fuckin dog. Jesus.

 

by tracheattack
2-26-03
alright, it's Darcy time. i'm gonna find myself a fine lookin lady.
too bad there aren't any ladies around.
well, atleast that guy's got boobs in his pocket.
well I never.
But still, Christopher anticipated nothing, leaving him entirely unprepared for the horrors to come.

 

by tracheattack
3-04-03
is this thing on?
... am I on?

 

by tracheattack
3-04-03
as people start associating themselves with certain characters - one to play some sort of unquestioned conscience of the writer, or the writer in question - i scroll through daft possibilites.
An animated try-out session, if you will, looking for the constantly reused character I can associate myself with. Which one of these exploding tires or ball-dancing dogs really say Craig?
As the search continues, I rest assured that I will gain another comic from this contest searchlight, maybe my first cliffhanger. How can I be a true artist without having a multi-part strip?

 

by tracheattack
3-04-03
Beginning the second part of an unpredictable timeline, I am left questioning how long to draw this previously done 'Line Waiting' gimick, as Cone has already demonstrated its potential.
At this point, half regretting this concept altogether, I wipe my brow and accept the inevitable; having already created the first part, the story must in fact end.
The line grows longer, but it is obvious to the reader that the characters in line are less than arbitrary. Why must I put myself and my viewers in such an uncomfortable situation?

 

by tracheattack
3-04-03
Into the third part of an already drawn-out story - clearly going nowhere, with little more than exaggerated internal dialogue to fall back on - I hope that I haven't lost any respect I once had.
By now, accepting that any real conclusion to this storyline would be far too obvious, as well as entirely unfunny, I decide there is nothing left to do but give the ending an unexpected twist.
Now, with a finished saga, I sit, wishing I had never embarked on this godless journey. Frustratingly refusing to end this painful story with 'THE END,' I bask in the glory of having once been king.
I'll have a whopper.
You want fries with that?

 

by tracheattack
4-16-03
Damn, it's been a while since i did something.
...need to talk?
Girls, man, i don't know what's going on with them.
Spring, huh?
Yeah, i guess. I've just been sitting in my room hoping to find a girl that's into my mario skills. I've been beating Lost Levels in an hour and a half, you know.
hold on, i gotta go check my email.

 

by tracheattack
4-16-03
Maybe you should try to apply yourself to some more productive activities. Girls like that stuff.
The ones I like don't.
Your depression has little comedic value, i don't know how funny this is.

 

by tracheattack
4-17-03
I'm tellin you man, you want to find a girl? You just got to Party man! That's all it takes! Straight up Party!
Who wants to take a shot off my abs? Yeaah!
Hang in there, champ. You'll be funny again.

 

by tracheattack
4-18-03
If you really want to find a girl, you should try more creative stuff.
You know, it gets really tiresome having you summarize my problem in the first frame everytime.
I know, but that's how you do it.
But that was good, right?

 

by tracheattack
4-18-03
Through a long and perilous quest, I've found the perfect girl for you online.
You've stolen my life.
do I still exist?

 

by tracheattack
4-21-03
so, my computer said you like me?
yeah, that online dating service said we make a good match.
think we can go somewhere a bit less secluded?
do you have a pda?

 

by tracheattack
4-21-03
well, what do you think? he's really good at mario.
I was really looking for someone with a bit more... promise.
I see...
do you have a pda?

 

by tracheattack
4-21-03
no, i don't have a pda.
oh, thank god.
that one was good.
sorry, i just had to make sure. i don't really do this 'online dating service' shit
well, let's get started. when you go out with Craig, you really go out with a franchise...

 

by tracheattack
4-27-03
Matrix 2's gonna fuckin rock.
hold on, i'm running a search for "friends"

 

by tracheattack
5-06-03
so how's your lovelife?
i don't know, check back 9 comics and find out...
you need confidence!
i need a gun.

 

by tracheattack
5-06-03
i feel like you're the only one that understands me.
Left Left A

 

by tracheattack
12-21-03
shake off the cobwebs buddy cause we're BACK
i'm a computer
LETS WATCH DRAGONBALL D
Awesome

 

by tracheattack
1-03-04
it's officially 2000MORE
i'm lovin it
in five years it'll be 2000MINE
even better
then i'll be dead
when does garfield come out?

 

by tracheattack
1-10-04
i heard you're going to Bollywood
yeah
i'm gonna be a graveyard
that's fuckin hilarious
2004

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