All comics by tre_ev

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by tre_ev
3-03-04
What You SEE Happengin In Art Class...
And this is wire...wire is made out of steel...now I will show you how to use siccors
Dear lord kill me now
What You FEEL Like...
And this is wire...wire is made out of steel...my goal is to suck any desire for art out of you
going...to...kill..self
What Art Class LOOKS Like to normal People...
Let's Draw a Tool! It will be FUN!
Must...end...pain of all students!

 

by tre_ev
4-06-04
Art Class with Erin...
You know, I am going to go to college and then, be a bum. Yay!
What the fuck, that is such a fucking waste of Mommy and Daddy's money...I should kick her ass.
I really think I could kick your ass, let's go Biatch!
Yeeaahh, right, whatever you say honey *puts in mouth guard*
Let me tell you about my role model...
No, let me shoot you in the face.

 

by tre_ev
4-06-04
Erin and Becka talk about their feelings...
You know, I really do want to destroy personal property...I will feel so, liberated...
It's a natural desire, go on...
One Hour Later...
Ok man, so we attacked the SUV's what's next...
Corporate Art!
The Next Week in Art Class...
Man, I feel so much better...
I know exactly what you are talking about...

 

by tre_ev
4-06-04
A Disclaimer...
Hi, we would like to tell all of you that we really aren't crazy, criminals, we're just normal college students!
That's right Erin, in fact we love America, hot dogs, republicans and baseball. Wahoo!
We would never destroy corporate art or shopping malls, nothing like that...
That's right, just like how we aren't going to attack the local SUV dealership next Tuesday at 1 am.
But dude, are we going to att-
Shh, man, it's all in the plan...*ahem* now back to your pathetic consumer driven lives!

 

by tre_ev
4-08-04
What they Say When He Breaks Up With You...
I know we can be friends...I really like you...I just need some time alone...come see me in a couple of days...
*sniffle, sniffle* okay...
What He Says a "Couple of Days" Later...
Listen, I am going through, like a "rough phase" and um, I don't think we should like, see each other for a LONG time.
ummm....
The Interpritation of What He Is REALLY Saying "A Couple of Days" Later...
Listen, I am a MAJOR ass and I really just want to sleep with like, as many girls as possible and you are totally in my way, so get the hell out of my life. Forever.
I am totally over you fuck stick *leaves*

 

by tre_ev
4-11-04
Friday Night in Kingston at the Clubs...
Hey there cutie, may I buy you hot young thangs a drink?
I drove three hours for this? Ah...might as well get drunk.
Saturday Night at the Irish Pub...
*Irish accent* Well, you're a fine young lass may I buy you a drink?
Score! This night is going to rock...
Sunday Morning...
Shit, I think I drank too much...
Naw, it's cool, your friend picked me up at the pub last night, time for me to get going...

 

by tre_ev
4-13-04
Reason #1: In the Middle of No Where Town...
So, you're telling me that we are 30 minutes away from a "real" town and we are surrounded by farms, a lake and there's a white trash village three minutes away?..Dear lord, shoot me now...
That's right! But you will love it! We do bonding activities and have dances, blah, blah, blah.
Reason #2: No cable in the rooms,the pizza place closes at eight and not a single bar in the town, food sucks, no men...
C'mon, I have a nice big pizza for you, cable tv, lots of hot Playgirl like men AND a 24 hour coffee shop waiting for you. And it will only cost you your measly little soul. C'mon, I know you want it.
Hmmm, it does sound nice...
Reson #3: Peopl gossip non-stop, just...like...god damn...HIGH SCHOOL!
So hey, did you hear they may make this school co-ed, I heard it from Sara who heard it from Betty, who as you know totally broke up with Mandy two days ago, did you know that she may be straight?
I should've taken that deal with the devil...

 

by tre_ev
4-13-04
*Mom* Hi honey, how are you doing?...how's school?...Did you have fun in Canada? Meet any nice boys? *Dad* Don't encourage her, she needs to focus on school! No boyfriends young lady do you hear me?!
*sigh* Hi Mom and Dad.
*Mom* She needs to date she's 19, she needs to have fun, besides she has a 3.8 and he was an asshole anyway. *Dad* NO BOYFRIENDS, I MEAN IT!!! *Mom* I'm sending someone over Friday night, honey.
Mom, dad, It's okay, I'm fine. Dad, it's okay, the next one will be nicer, I promise and mom, please don't do that.
Friday Night...
Hey there, you must be Becka! I'm Travis.
Well, at least she picked someone cute, or was that the three shots I just did, oh well, here goes nothing....

 

by tre_ev
4-13-04
Dude, I think you have a drinking problem.
*takes sip out of flask* What the hell are you talking about, pshh, a "drinking problem."
Man, You put Malibu rum on your corn flakes this morining...I saw you.
Hey! I do not pick out any of your flaws! Besides, you're supposed to be drunk in college, remember? It's only a problem AFTER college.
Oh yeah, that's right, I forgot about that.
Allright, let's go, we've got to pre-game math class.

 

by tre_ev
4-14-04
Becka Talks to Erin About What she wants in life...
I want to finish college, at Cornell or I.C., I want to get great grades, an old school Volvo, I want to be in a punk band, I want to party and to find happiness.
Naturally...what else?
I want to inform the world about the evil corporations, I want to destroy gas guzzling cars, I want to help save the planet. I really want to have a postive influence on those around me.
Well, I think we all want that...
But what I really want is a wicked hot Irish guy, yeah, I think that would do it for right now. I mean, the accent, the body and hopefully the ability to hold his liquor. Now that is happiness, right?
Why yes I believe it is...

 

by tre_ev
4-14-04
A very realistic idea of what will transpire tonight when exboy toy calls Becka...
Hey how ya doing? Listen I was wonderin-
Listen Bec, I know this is hard, but I really am over you, and you need to realize this and move on, I need my space and time to find out what "love" truly is (Author's note: haha, "love.")
The "Explination" goes on and on and on (Really kids, he can rant forever, this is no exageration)...
I know, and I really can respect that. I just was calling to say-
Don't say anything, it would be too painful, I just want us to be friends, FRIENDS. I knew you were going to get all hysterical like this, what is your problem? I told you, I don't love you anymore!
Until Finally,Becka snaps and the truth is revealed...
Hey! Ass monkey, I DO NOT want you back, you aren't the same person I thought you were, nor the guy I fell in love with three years ago, all I want to know is: are we going to see APC together or not?
Oh, umm...sure.

 

by tre_ev
4-14-04
After the "Big" Phone Call w/the Ex...
So how did your talk with Tony go?
It was good, I feel like we really can be friends now and that I don't love him anymore. It was a good conversation.
So, there's no jealousy? animosity? knife throwing?
No, no, he told me about his new chick and how things were going. It was like we're old friends or something like that.
So, you're totally going after his friend that has that crush on you, aren't you?
Well, duh.

 

by tre_ev
4-15-04
Becka Goes to Visit Wells Financial Aid...
But I'm paying for college myself (to a private college nonetheless), live on my own, am on Medicaid, pay my own bills,all I buy is with my job money. I DO take care of myself. What does that make me?
I'm sorry, but unless you are over 23 or your parents have not claimed you for three years, then you can obviously not be an independent adult.
What the fuck, what do I have to do? Get pregnant, drop out of school, have two kids and no job for three years and then refile? I can't be a poor 19 year old who already is legally an adult student?
Yes, basically.
Leson Learned: the Devil runs Wells College...Beware!
Tell me, you work for the devil don't you?...I am totally suing this school...
Who told you that? Was it the woman in the Presidents office. Damn angels, they found me, they will never succed! Mwahah-um...no, no I don't here take this phamplet on financial aid and a lollipop...

 

by tre_ev
4-15-04
A typical Thursday night at Wells...
I swear there is nothing to do here, nothing. I think I may kill myself just so that I can go out entertaining other people.
Yeah...
BORING! BORING! BORING!
Yeah...
Suddenly, Becka remembers what her mother always said to her as a child, "if you can't find fun, then make it!":
Hey, you wanna go drag a couch down to the dock and light it on fire?
Sure.

 

by tre_ev
4-16-04
Aprox. one year ago when Becka went to visit Wells College, she was told this absurd and ridiculous lie...
Well, let me tell you prospective student: Wells is filled with diversity, we accept all types of people and do not stereotype any person on this earth! Nope, no stereotyping at all! We love 'em all!
Hm, sounds to good to be true...
A major complaint that Becka hears from Wells Women...
I totally hate it when I tell people and I that I am going to an all women’s college and they automatically think I am a lesbian or a bitch. I hate stereotyping! I would never do that to anyone!
Hmm.
Now in the height of Wells Co-ed Chaos
I am so against making Wells co-ed, I mean guys are stupid, mean and distracting. They will only come here for a piece of ass. Here' take my flyer informing you about how they will ruin this college
Ok, so let me get this right: you don't like being stereotyped yourself, but you are going to and stereotype all men?You and this college are full of shit. *lights flyer on fire* Fucking sexist Nazis.

 

by tre_ev
4-18-04
How the "idea" was born in art class...
Hit me! Hit me! HIT ME!!! I am goint to kick your ass Becka! *punches Becka*
*ignores the punch* Erin, shut the fuck up and work on your painting.
Finally, after weeks of talking, some "mood stabalizers," 10 Wells women face off on the athletic Field; we see Railey and Sylvia fighting (use your immagination here kids)...
Ow, that fucking hurt, *punches* you bitch, take that. Ow!
What did you say about my momma? *punches* Die, damnit!
Later...
Man, we totally beat the shit out of each other, did you see the bruises on Railey's arm? Plus people think we are nut jobs now.
Hey, it's consensual fighting, and those who think we are crazy are not in tune with their inner emotions, believe me, they want to fight, they're just pussies.

 

by tre_ev
4-18-04
What Has Been Happening For 5 Weeks, in and out of Art class, like everytime they see each other...
Man, I know I can kick your ass, I really can. You should fight me right here, right now. I know I can take you, you're just too scared to fight me. I will win, and then, then you will be the lesser!
Man, this chick is really asking for it.
4/17/04: On the Athletic Field at Wells College, Becka and Erin/Nore face off for the title...
Okay, you're going to fight dirty aren't you? Don't fight dirty. I am going to get my ass kicked, aren't I? You should go easy on me, don't hit me the face, hey, you look really freaking agressive.
Haha, time for an ass whooping. I haven't played rugby for four years to get my ass kicked by Porter!
Later, Becka claims her title and reassures Nore/Erin that ther title isn't that lame...but it's not as cool as Becka's title! Mwhaha...
Man, I can't believe you kicked my ass, next time I will win, I know it. Then I will reign supreme!
Hey, it's okay, Ed Norton in 'Fight Club' isn't that bad of a title, but it sure doesn't beat getting to be Tyler Durden! Anyway, I'm more like Tyler: loves fighting, loves sex, really agressive, etc.

 

by tre_ev
4-19-04
As the "March For Choice" nears, many people in Becka's life have something to say to her...
You know dear the bible says that abortion is immoral and I think that Mr. Bush is doing a fine job, you should find a boy like him.
Yeah Grandma, and my intelligence tells me to kill myself if a "man" like Dubya ever comes knocking on my door...
*Mom on the phone* You know, I fully support your choices as an educated and powerful young woman, but your father-*Dad cuts in* Does this mean that you are having sex? Answer me young lady!!!
Je-su-s Christ!
Finally, after being attacked by family, friends and the goddamn Republicans, a voice of rational in Becka's life...
The politics of this country are so wrong, don't even get me started. You have the right to march and those in your life should respect that, right on sister.
This squirrel makes more sense than half the people in my life...I need to transfer to a real school.

 

by tre_ev
4-19-04
More on Becka's #3 Least Favorite Place (believe me, you don't want to know about the other two places, scary, very scary)...
So I know that I talk about how I hate this college so much, but, everyday I gain more reasons for hating it.
Like today, I realized that I can not even mention the word "penis" in a crowded room with out recieving evil glares...
and this concerns me for many reasons...
partially due to the fact that I enjoy discussing the male anatomy greatly...
but also because I hate the fact that some people are so prejudice, I mean, I don't tweak out when chicks talk about other women in detail, I mean lets be mature here, jeez.
...yeah, but it mostly has to due with the fact that I love talking about guys.

 

by tre_ev
4-21-04
A Discussion...
Man, I think your obsession with Davey (Hovak) is unnatural.
It's not an obsession; I don't have any unrealistic fantasies about him. I just really respect the guy, and hey, I don't pick on your "obsession" with Michael Jackson.
Justification...
Hey, you leave M.J. out of this, it is not an obsession, I am intrigued by his odd lifestyle. It is nothing sexual, and besides his music rocked...once, or twice on occasion.
And I love Davey for his mind and his beliefs as well...
The Truth...
Sure you do.
I do! He's a lyrical genius. It's just pure luck that he also happens to look killer in skin tight leather pants and black eyeliner. Oh, and the tattoos...but it's really all about his, uh, mind.

 

by tre_ev
4-21-04
So, with only four weeks left in my freshman year, I think it's about time I evaluate my first year experience:
Wells In General: Well, it's in the middle of bum fuck Egypt, there is nothing to do here and the people are generally insane, and not in the good way. I am so transferring my junior year.
Personal Life: I broke up with my boyf of three years, made a few kickass friends, started a fight club, and my only love affair is w/alcohol. Not to great but, it's the best Wells can give me.
Personal Growth: In the last nine months I have become cynical, eccentric and the class clown. And I have returned to my normal angsty self. I'm very happy with myself, I like who I am.
So, all in all, I hate Wells, like my friends, love my personality and I can't wait to be done with college and then become a teacher myself. At least then I get to torture kids and have a cool car.
I can't wait for my sophomore year to start.

 

by tre_ev
4-22-04
Fight Club, Wednesday night, in the rain, in the mud...
I am going to kick your ass I am so going to beTyler! Mwahaha! *punches*
Damnit Bitch, you hit me in the fucking face! That's it, you're eating the turf tonight.
That's it, kick her ass, punch her, yeah, alright!
Nore: Ow, ow, ow, you're hurting me!/ Becka: Die you damn ass monkey!
Once again, Becka is Tyler...
Man...I can't believe you kicked my ass again. But Friday night-
That's what you get. Now shut up and get me a drink Ed.

 

by tre_ev
4-27-04
A conversation between Becka and Mer/Jess
I think I have come to the conclusion that men are somewhat annoying, cocky and ego maniacs looking for ass.
Really? All men?
Well, none of my guy friends are really like that...nor my male relatives...and I really can't make that assumption of all men.
I see, so, who does that leave?
So, I guess that means only my ex..yeah, in all actuality, I just think that of him, oh and kitchen boys.
Well, of course. We all knew that.

 

by tre_ev
4-29-04
Bekca and Mer talk about this weekend...
So, when you go home this weekend you're going to show your parents your rather sizeable tattoo that was wicked expensive?
Yeah, I think it's time they found out about it; I've had it for nearly two months now.
You do also realize that you're going home with purple streaks in you hair and you do plan to get your labret pierced in a week, all of this will be displayed to the whole town.
Man, you're right...
You're father is going to freak, believe me, I met him, he's crazy and you know your soccer mom will most certainly freak...
Hmm, maybe I'll wait until I get my piercing and then tell them over break that I got attacked by a rabid tattoo artist/piercer, yeah, that's what I'll do.

 

by tre_ev
5-03-04
Man, I can't wait for the new Harry Potter movie, the books rock! But nothing beats L.O.T.R, right?! Hey, last night when I was editing all of my short stories for fun, I was thinking about-
*tisk, tis, tisk* Man, you are such A F.E.T.A.!
What? What the hell is a fucking feta?
Future English Teacher of America. You're made for the job, you actually enjoy grammar and critical analysis. Man, even when you swear you use perfect english!
That's true; but hey, I embraced my inner geek a long time ago. It makes life much easier that way. You realize that you will never be a popular kid, just a book loving, smarty pants geek.
Man, you use your inhaler way too much...

 

by tre_ev
5-18-04
Wells Women Ponder the Upcoming Summer...
I don't think I can find a job, I'll probably just sit on the couch and watch the food network.
Yeah, I get to support the immigrants of this country in a dark, air tight warehouse, at least they play good music...on Friday.
I get to work two jobs this summer and I lost my car, oh and I harbor a deep hatred for my ex and all the people in my town. At least at home we have cable tv.Dude this summer is going to suck ass.
Hey, at least we can have time to fashion our Reality sticks/paddles! Mine's going to be black and have holes in it for speed!
Mine's going to have a great quote on it, and it's going to be a bat, not a stick. Can it be a metal Reality Stick? That would make it much better.
Oh, oh, I want mine to be really big and to saysomething like "Run, run my little bitches!" I can't wait to use mine on freshman and ususpecting jackasses! Wahhoo!

 

by tre_ev
6-09-04
Becka and Merlin Discuss the Summer So Far...
Well, man, only two and half more months of summer vacation left, wahoo.
Dude, it isn't that bad. I mean, how do you really feel?
Hm, let me sum it up like this: GAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!
Ah, I see, well what do you suppose you're going to do?
*loads gun* I'm going to rob a Dunken Donuts and fly to Ireland and get drunk off my arse with some hot Irish men, you wanna come?
Sure, and hey, sometimes things like this just happen. Let me get my cat and my Guccis.

 

by tre_ev
6-10-04
Groton N.Y., 6/10/04, 5:30 pm
Man, since I've come home people have been acting weird towards me. I know that I'm not sunshine preppy, but anyways.
I hate to break this to you, but they all think that since your relationship ended, and you went to an all girls school-
Don't say it, just don't say it. I knew this was going to happen.
What are you going to do? I suggest finding a very attractive male to exploit for the summer.
Well, I guess I'll do that, but it would be fun to mess with their heads, you know, and it would make my ex look like a complete loser.
Haha, you've got a point, but seriously now.

 

by tre_ev
7-28-04
Thursday, 1pm, Matt, Becky and Tony...
Damn that took us forever to get set up, lets go swimming...hey I've got this root thing, called Tschinkle. I mixed it with Vodka, two tablespoons should do it *takes mouth full*
*takes mouth full* God Damn! That shit tastes like cough medicine! What is it supposed to do anyway?
*takes mouthfull* So you got this from some hippy out in the woods in Albany, she didn't tell you what it does, but we're drinking it anyway? Cool!
*Hehe* Does that chair seem closer, I think it does...man I feel light headed, that shit didn't work! Damnit Matt! You're the earth scientist, why didn't this work?
I don't feel anything, do you?
No, not really, my depth perception in kind of off. Oh well, It's Grassroots!

 

by tre_ev
7-28-04
Friday, 1am: What Everyone is doing/thinking...
Anton:*sitting on hamock* I wish I could coerce Becky into playing naked bongos, that would be cool. Damn crazy hippies. I hope T-Dizzle doesn't sleep with the H Factor Chick.
Tony: *playing with Molson bottle and tiki torch* Well, well, well, haha, I am so drunk. I'm happy I'm not drunk enough to touch the H Factor. Mmm, tamarillos.
Matt: *chilling in green chair* The night is young. It's Grassroots baby. Hm, maybe if I give Becky another beer she will play the bongos naked. Good idea.
Becky: *chilling in blue chair next to Matt* I will NOT play naked bongos! I hope the H Factor doesn't contaminate the lid of my cooler by sitting on it.
Phi: *sleeping in girls tent* already!
The H Factor aka the Herpes Chick: *sitting on Becky's green cooler* Maybe I will get one of these people to sleep with me, just in case I will leave them a present.

 

by tre_ev
7-28-04
Friday Morning, 8 am...
Have you seen Anton?
No, go ask the girls, maybe they know?
Have you seen Anton? He's *not* in here is he?
Um, no, I'm not a slut you douche.
Note: Anton went home due to sickness
Have you seen Anton?
Dude...I don't even know who I am.

 

by tre_ev
7-28-04
The Men of GrassRoots Told By Becky
Hi! I'm Tony, the Ex, I'm not sure how I feel about Becky and shes not sure how she feels about me. We're officially on a break, which is ok, but I get jealous of all other men in her life.
Hi! I'm Anton, the crazy Russian friend. I came to get drunk, do some drugs and try to get Becky to play naked bongos.
Hi! I'm the really creepy old hippie named Mark who harassed Becky, Merlin and Sophia, causing terror and fear.
Hi! I'm the extraordinarily creepy drag queen who was trying to force eye contact on Becky, making her very uncomfortable. I then followed her and her friends around for the rest of the evening.
Hi! I'm Matt, the really cute guy friend. Tony's best friend, who *never* will have a shot at Becky b/c I am her Ex's best friend and they are on a "break." So sad for both of us.
Hi! I represent all other cute, single boys at GrassRoots. For the most part, I was hiding from Becky and her group, maybe it was because of the freaky looking manly chick following them around.

 

by tre_ev
7-28-04
Friday Afternoon, Matt and Becky Finds a Present Outside of Their Campsite...
*Looking down* Hey, HEY! Are those...are those what I think they are?
*Looks down* Um...*pokes at with stick* Yes, I think they are.
Aw man, they're black panties, nasty abandoned panties!!
What should we do?
Naturally, They Make A Sign
"Lost and Found: 1 Pair of Black, String Bikini Panties." I wonder who left them.
I think the Herpes chick did. That's just foul.

 

by tre_ev
8-08-04
Friday Night, 6pm, Sober
Wow, I'm having a really good time!
Me too, I'm happy we're getting along. *Hug*
Friday Night, 10pm, 8 or 9 shots
I hate you, I HATE you! You mother fucking asshole! Die!
*cries and runs away*
Saturday Morning, 1am, sober again
I'm really, really sorry. I didn't mean any of it, really. Sorry.
*Sniffle* That's okay. I know you don't really feel that way. *Hug*

 

by tre_ev
8-17-04
Becky and Her Mom Talk About "Disabilities:"
You know, you should be nicer to your brother, he has a disability.
What? Being dense isn't a disability.
His eye twitch, Rebecca.
................
Some people consider that a disability young lady, be nice to your brother.
Yeah but, I'm blond, isn't that a disability? People aren't nice to me b/c I'm blond. In fact, my kind is the source of many nasty jokes. So no, I won't. I'm bitter! Mwahaha!

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