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| Our correspondent Tom has been set on fire by a mob of angry capitalists, many who sponsor our beautiful news company . . . why? The horror? The tra . . . ge . . . Ed? What are you trying to . . . Ed? | |
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| FOR THE LOVE OF JESUS NO! | |
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THE CAPITALIST PARADE SHALL CONQUER THE EARTH, KILLING NEWS CORRESPONDANTS WITH PLEASURE AND MIRTH, BURNING JOURNALISTS AND INVESTIGATIVE REPORTERS TOO, OH WHAT WILL WE DO?!
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