Look, a fist!

The Kerry-Edwards weigh-in gets heated.

"Next person to point out that I'm not as angry or as hyper as Dean gets a f*cking smack! Wooo!"

"No, dammit, I won't pull your finger!"

John Kerry shook his fist in defiance today when Santa Claus confronted him with accusations of fashion misdemeanors.

"... but my favorite comic is the one where the exploding dog guy does this."

The Crimson Commandos were called out last night when John Kerry and several rambunctious students climbed up on a table to stage a 'Dead Poet's Society'-like protest against criticism of overzealous Democratic hopefuls.

Kerry makes jack-off gesture at protester.

"And so I fisted her like this..."

Rock beats scissors.

"Shake harder, boy!"

Hopelessly deadlocked, Kerry and Dean decide to settle things with a game of Craps.

"The coin is in *that* hand!"

Frustrated, Kerry decided that Dean's press coverage was getting far too high, so he upped the ante. It all started as a copy of the "SKREE!" everyone's heard, but it escelated into manrape, fireworks, and pelicans being forced to do unnatural things with teddy bears.

This has reportedly garnered a 2% increase for the hopeful.

"Next person to confuse me for Jim Carrey gets SSSmoked!"

"CHOO CHOO! Here comes the ho train!"

The drunken game of political spin-the-bottle nearly ended before it began when Ted Kennedy made off with the wine cellar. Luckily, they improvised, and spin-the-proletariate led to Kerry and Sharpton in the broom closet.

I do NOT ride a crotch rocket MOTHERFUCKER.