Destroy All Monsters – Forum Archive : stripcreator

Forum archives » Fights Go Here » Destroy All Monsters

« Prev Page 1 of 2 Next »

Zaster
June 13, 2005 6:37 PM

Giant radioactive monsters will ruin our civilization unless they are stopped. We need more monster-proof materials with which to fortify our cities, and funding for a new generation of robot warriors. Seismic sensors may give advance warning of monster activity near our coasts, but only if we deploy them in time. We need to get on top of the problem of giant monsters pronto, or giant monsters will be on top of us.

Post #178454

niteowl June 13, 2005 6:42 PM
Post #178457	link

Spankling June 13, 2005 7:21 PM	I saw that movie with a ton of friends when I was a kid in the theater. Great fun. Freddie T. barfed popcorn and root beer over the bridge on the walk home.
Post #178462	link

Rabid_Weasle June 13, 2005 9:24 PM	..
Post #178474	link

BigFrank105 June 13, 2005 11:25 PM
Post #178477	link

mandingo June 14, 2005 12:28 AM	quote: We need to get on top of the problem of giant monsters pronto, or giant monsters will be on top of us. So your real issue is with mixed marriage.
Post #178479	link

Zaster June 14, 2005 3:15 AM	I can see you people are incapable of discussing important issues is a serious way. That's OK though. When the giant monsters come knocking, I'm sure you can fend them off with jokes and goofy pictures you found on the internet.
Post #178482	link

HCRoyall June 14, 2005 4:15 AM	Didn't you read the latest report? Goofy pictures ward off 90% of all regular giant monsters, and jokes are found to be 50% more effective against radioactive giant monsters than any other defense system.
Post #178484	link

biped June 14, 2005 11:20 AM
Post #178527	link

areallystupidguy June 14, 2005 12:05 PM	There are already kind folks doing their damndest to bring saftey from monster threat to the populace. We need not worry as long as they're on the job. http://kaiju.com
Post #178536	link

mandingo
June 14, 2005 1:26 PM

quote:
I can see you people are incapable of discussing important issues in a serious way. That's OK though. When the giant monsters come knocking, I'm sure you can fend them off with jokes and goofy pictures you found on the internet.

Look, we're not idiots. Of course we know the monsters are a threat. I mean, for areallystupidguy's sake! Their making boots and belts out of infant! (And, according to CNN this morning, actually turning a nice profit on Rodeo. Sickening.)

It's just that the monster threat seems so far off - in abandoned hotels, under bridges, lurking in the woods, while the raisin issue is just around the corner in the cupboard.

Post #178546

mandingo June 14, 2005 1:34 PM	quote: There are already kind folks doing their damndest to bring saftey from monster threat to the populace. We need not worry as long as they're on the job. http://kaiju.com While sam watterson leads the front against the robots.
Post #178547	link

biped
June 14, 2005 1:46 PM

quote:
just around the corner in the cupboard.

Just around the corner in the cupboard
There's a gun I'm not supposed to know is there
I found it yesterday
As I reached for the Ben Gay
To put in my big brother's underwear.

Now I know whenever someone irks me
Or my playmates want a fun new game to play
I can go and get the gun
And begin the funny fun
As merrily I blow them all away.

And if we are besieged by giant monsters
Like Godzilla, Gammera, and Ghidrah too
They could squish us all like bugs
But I'll save two special slugs
For a murder-suicide with Cindy Sue.

Post #178550

Zaster June 14, 2005 3:27 PM	quote: And if we are besieged by giant monsters Like Godzilla, Gammera, and Ghidrah too They could squish us all like bugs But I'll save two special slugs For a murder-suicide with Cindy Sue. That's... (sniff!) so beautiful...
Post #178562	link

FinnNYC June 14, 2005 6:10 PM	quote: It's just that the monster threat seems so far off - in abandoned hotels, under bridges, lurking in the woods, while the raisin issue is just around the corner in the cupboard. Haha! Thank you for the laugh.
Post #178575	link

NooniePuuBunny
June 14, 2005 7:30 PM

quote:
Giant radioactive monsters will ruin our civilization unless they are stopped. We need more monster-proof materials with which to fortify our cities, and funding for a new generation of robot warriors. Seismic sensors may give advance warning of monster activity near our coasts, but only if we deploy them in time. We need to get on top of the problem of giant monsters pronto, or giant monsters will be on top of us.

Giant monsters are too busy getting on with their own lives than to be bothered with something silly, like eating New York. I mean seriously, would you want to eat New York? I dont think so. Not quite as bad as trying to eat New Jersey, but still...

That being said, your racism against giant monsters sickens me. Oh sure, you think they're cool till they want equal citizenship to you much smaller humanoids. Then the greed sets in, and you all become Human-Supremicists.

All of you should be ashamed, you sick depraved racist punks. You go into my book of "People That Will Burn In Hell For All Eternity" right next to the KKK, Jerry Falwell, and the God Hates Fags group.

Post #178580

Spankling June 14, 2005 9:19 PM
Post #178586	link

HCRoyall June 15, 2005 4:10 AM	^--- Godzilla's on the Ganj, man!
Post #178603	link

mandingo
June 15, 2005 12:26 PM

quote:
Giant monsters are too busy getting on with their own lives than to be bothered with something silly, like eating New York. I mean seriously, would you want to eat New York?

You bet. For a giant monster, thats gotta be something you can tell your grandkids about. Like john candy putting down the ol' 96er in The Great Outdoors.

quote:
I dont think so.

No really.

quote:
Not quite as bad as trying to eat New Jersey, but still...

True.

quote:
That being said, your racism against giant monsters sickens me. Oh sure, you think they're cool till they want equal citizenship to you much smaller humanoids. Then the greed sets in, and you all become Human-Supremicists.

All of you should be ashamed....

You're like that neighborhood kid in V who sided with the reptiles.

Post #178628

Zaster
June 15, 2005 3:42 PM

quote:
That being said, your racism against giant monsters sickens me.

I guess you haven't spent much time living next to them. They're always blasting thier music too loud and throwing crazy parties late into the night. You try to ignore it, but every now and then a tail or horn comes crashing carelessly through your fence. When you ask them who's responsible; who's gonna pay for the damages, suddenly none of them speak English! "Rowrrr! Grrrr!! Us monsters! Us no understand!" I've had it with these jerks. They should all go back to Monster Island where they came from.

Post #178650

biped June 15, 2005 4:25 PM	I'm pretty sure the giant monsters are the ones who stole my riding lawnmower.
Post #178660	link

ivytheplant June 15, 2005 5:26 PM	So you mean all those times I fed radioactive materials to lizards was a BAD thing?
Post #178665	link

DragonXero June 15, 2005 5:43 PM
Post #178666	link

HCRoyall June 15, 2005 11:58 PM	As DragonXero has shown, they're even trying to infiltrate our government. Pretty soon all of our Giant Monster Defense systems will have their budgets cut, and then where will we be? I'd say we should nuke Monster Island, but that might make the problem worse. Wait! We can ship all the monsters to France, and then we'd solve two problem at once!
Post #178690	link

NooniePuuBunny
June 16, 2005 7:14 PM

First of all, John Kerry is a zombie, not a giant monster. There's a big difference. Zombies rot, shout brains and have monotonous monologues about how much better they are than George W. Giant monsters spew radioactive gas out of their mouths (which is better than long boring monolougues).

Secondly, I would like to say that I've seen humans do more damage than a giant monster would ever do. Sure there are the bad apples that make giant monsters look bad, but then there are you humans, who are responsible for global warming, destruction of 1/3 of the species on this planet, and Yanni.

I rest my case.

Post #178809

Spankling June 16, 2005 8:08 PM	quote: George W. Giant Monsters Spew What a great name for him.
Post #178815	link

mandingo June 17, 2005 12:36 AM	quote: Sure there are the bad apples that make giant monsters look bad, but then there are you humans, who are responsible for global warming, destruction of 1/3 of the species on this planet, and Yanni. let's not count our chickens before they hatch on that last one there.
Post #178828	link

HCRoyall June 17, 2005 12:41 AM	Humanity can't be blamed for a freak accident like Yanni. We can, however, be blamed for not finding a way to get rid of him.
Post #178830	link

NooniePuuBunny June 17, 2005 6:51 PM	quote: Humanity can't be blamed for a freak accident like Yanni. We can, however, be blamed for not finding a way to get rid of him. Precisely.
Post #178906	link

mandingo June 18, 2005 10:36 PM	what else can we do. we mailed him off to the sun but he came back return to sender, mass of gas unknown. then the sun was seen wearing a groucho marx disguise for the next week
Post #179012	link

DragonXero
June 19, 2005 12:07 AM

Last time I tried to send Yanni to the sun, I got it back with a letter attached reading "We don't want him here either - Europa". I thought it was a misspelling or something, but then I noticed that it was signed by "large black rectangular thing". Which is kinda weird, because I thought its name was "Obelisk".

DAMN YOU STANLEY KUBRICK! DAMN YOU ARTHUR C. CLARKE!

Oh, and next time, I'm sending it UPS (Univeral Parcel Service).

Post #179022

HCRoyall June 20, 2005 12:10 AM	Of course, Yanni IS the reason why we haven't been invaded by hostile aliens and had our world population decimated, with the survivors rounded up to live out the rest of their days in intergalactic slavery. I know! We can drive off the giant monsters by blasting Yanni's "music" at them!
Post #179066	link

Melkor
June 20, 2005 3:56 AM

quote:
Of course, Yanni IS the reason why we haven't been invaded by hostile aliens and had our world population decimated, with the survivors rounded up to live out the rest of their days in intergalactic slavery.

I know! We can drive off the giant monsters by blasting Yanni's "music" at them!

Wouldnt that be considered cruel and unsual punishment under the Geneva convention?

What about the human sized monsters, like the boogeyman, The-Thing-In-the-Cupboard, and priests?
Those are some real treats, not some jumbo sized monster that randomly destroys Toquio or New York. I mean, sure they kill more people that normal sized monsters, but at least they only kill people in Toquio and New York. The rest of the world is pretty much safe from them. I mean, when was the last time a 200 foot monster atacked Austin, Texas?

Post #179073

HCRoyall
June 20, 2005 5:11 AM

Texas refuses to let Giant monsters past the border. Since everything in Texas has to be bigger than anywhere else, they placed a ban on all giant monsters smaller than 800 feet tall and weighing less than 40,000 tons.

Liberals are lobbying for Congress to force Texas to lift the ban on so-called "undersized" giant monsters, but in today's Republican legislature it might be months before the bill is even brought to the floor.

Post #179078

DragonXero
June 21, 2005 3:32 PM

Giant Monsters are not US citizens and therefore are not covered by the constitution. We can restrict their size all we want! Besides, there is no law currently defining giant monsters as humans, and therefore there are no civil rights concerning them.

They will be discriminated against until the government sees the error of its ways and gives Giant Monsters full citizenship status.

Even then they won't be able to vote.

Post #179298

HCRoyall
June 22, 2005 12:04 AM

quote:
Giant Monsters are not US citizens and therefore are not covered by the constitution. We can restrict their size all we want! Besides, there is no law currently defining giant monsters as humans, and therefore there are no civil rights concerning them.

They will be discriminated against until the government sees the error of its ways and gives Giant Monsters full citizenship status.

Even then they won't be able to vote.

It's right wing bastards like you that keep vampires on welfare by discriminating against them when hiring night shift workers!

Post #179353

mandingo
June 22, 2005 2:42 AM

quote:
Giant Monsters are not US citizens and therefore are not covered by the constitution.

I don't think anyone's "covered by" the constitution. the constitution is mankinds high water mark, its moment of clarity, its best hope for survival. we're not "covered by" it like some kind of cheap HMO. rather we're "protected by" it, like a congressmen wrapping one of those little leaflets of it around his dick so he can pork a staffer.

yes exactly like that

Post #179379

HCRoyall June 22, 2005 3:01 AM	Or the Department of Homeland Defense hiding under the Patriot Act to deny us the rights granted by the Constitution. Wait...
Post #179384	link

NooniePuuBunny
June 22, 2005 7:22 PM

quote:
They will be discriminated against until the government sees the error of its ways and gives Giant Monsters full citizenship status.

Its a sad fact. Most giant monsters are forced into poorly paying jobs with long hours and dangerous conditions, such as farming, factory work, and tentacle porn movies (who knows what those "innocent" girls are carrying. The monsters aren't even allowed to use condoms).

Humans think that the monsters are moving in and taking all the jobs, but the fact is they're only taking the ones that get $0.25 an hour. When will you racists wake up?!

Post #179502

HCRoyall June 22, 2005 9:54 PM	quote: Humans think that the monsters are moving in and taking all the jobs, but the fact is they're only taking the ones that get $0.25 an hour. When will you racists wake up?! But then that forces the Mexicans to get better jobs, which in turn works it's way up the chain and displaces everyone eventually.
Post #179520	link

DragonXero June 22, 2005 9:55 PM	quote: Or the Department of Homeland Defense hiding under the Patriot Act to deny us the rights granted by the Constitution. Wait... Shhhh. Cheney's watching.
Post #179521	link

HCRoyall June 23, 2005 4:33 AM	/comics/HCRoyall/291592/
Post #179549	link

NooniePuuBunny
June 23, 2005 7:23 PM

quote:
quote:
Humans think that the monsters are moving in and taking all the jobs, but the fact is they're only taking the ones that get $0.25 an hour. When will you racists wake up?!

But then that forces the Mexicans to get better jobs, which in turn works it's way up the chain and displaces everyone eventually.

Not really. As it turns out, as soon as they lay eyes on a 30 foot tall 6 eyed purple thing next to them picking strawberries with them, they decide that its about time they joined the ministry.

Post #179650

HCRoyall
June 23, 2005 11:46 PM

quote:
quote:
quote:
Humans think that the monsters are moving in and taking all the jobs, but the fact is they're only taking the ones that get $0.25 an hour. When will you racists wake up?!

But then that forces the Mexicans to get better jobs, which in turn works it's way up the chain and displaces everyone eventually.

Not really. As it turns out, as soon as they lay eyes on a 30 foot tall 6 eyed purple thing next to them picking strawberries with them, they decide that its about time they joined the ministry.

The problem there is that the majority of Mexicans are Catholic. The only thing that kept the people from rising up against the Catholic church after the pedophilia incidents was because the accused priests were white. Imagine what would happen if a minority priest was accused! Chaos in the streets! And then the Giant Monsters would be free to take over!

Post #179681

NooniePuuBunny
June 24, 2005 7:54 PM

quote:
quote:
quote:
quote:
Humans think that the monsters are moving in and taking all the jobs, but the fact is they're only taking the ones that get $0.25 an hour. When will you racists wake up?!

But then that forces the Mexicans to get better jobs, which in turn works it's way up the chain and displaces everyone eventually.

Not really. As it turns out, as soon as they lay eyes on a 30 foot tall 6 eyed purple thing next to them picking strawberries with them, they decide that its about time they joined the ministry.

The problem there is that the majority of Mexicans are Catholic. The only thing that kept the people from rising up against the Catholic church after the pedophilia incidents was because the accused priests were white. Imagine what would happen if a minority priest was accused! Chaos in the streets! And then the Giant Monsters would be free to take over!

Actually, the preists got away with it due to the hand of the rich catholic diocese putting money into the government officials' pockets in exchange for "forgiveness" and the ability to move the preists into other parishes to rape again.

And as far as monsters taking over, giant monsters dont want control over the country, they just want better for their brood. Back on Monster Island is a slum opressed by the "Monster Mafia" and the Dictatorship. Would you want them to have to raise their grubs and hatchlings in a setting like that?

Post #179798

HCRoyall June 24, 2005 8:46 PM	Yes.
Post #179806	link

mandingo
June 25, 2005 3:45 AM

quote:
And as far as monsters taking over, giant monsters dont want control over the country, they just want better for their brood. Back on Monster Island is a slum opressed by the "Monster Mafia" and the Dictatorship. Would you want them to have to raise their grubs and hatchlings in a setting like that?

lets assume for a moment your right. the monsters just want a better life for thier family and everythings just been a big misunderstanding. guess what, monster sponser? it doesnt matter. not when every time an illegal immigrant monster rolls over in his sleep we lose an elementary school full of children or a liquor barn full of something much more valuable (hope). not when every time they need a midnight snack, there goes a years supply of cornbread and there goes the starvation rate skyrocketing again. the simple truth is that our two species can't coexist. we have to either: 1) relocate the monsters back to monster island with a replenished supply of cornbread 2) relocate them to a larger island and rename that island monster island 3) relocate them to multiple smaller islands and rename those smaller islands monster island 1, monster island 2 ... monster island n (where n is any real integer and n>=3)

Post #179846

HCRoyall June 25, 2005 4:35 AM	Better yet, let's just send the giant monsters into space. Half of them came from outer space in the first place, so there's no reason we can't send all of them out there.
Post #179850	link

mandingo June 26, 2005 1:45 AM	quote: Better yet, let's just send the giant monsters into space. Half of them came from outer space in the first place, so there's no reason we can't send all of them out there. or we could just film them on earth but make it look like space, release the film to the world to prove democracy's superiority over communism, then execute the monsters and claim they were lost after landing on Europa
Post #179926	link

Melkor June 27, 2005 3:41 PM	Most things that land at Europa are executed , or drowned in bureaucracy. One of the two , anyway. Weird Continent.
Post #180082	link

Forum archives » Fights Go Here » Destroy All Monsters

« Prev Page 1 of 2 Next »

stripcreator
Make a comic
Forums

featuring
diesel sweeties
jerkcity
exploding dog
goats
ko fight club
penny arcade
chopping block

also
Brad Sucks