...I would like to be able to get something off my chest by airing it on my livejournal without my fiancee throwing a fit because I didn't come to her personally with it.

I was having some philosphical dilemmas that I typed out and posted on my LiveJournal, and immediately felt better afterwards. I then get a reply from my fiancee about how I apparently don't trust her because I didn't let her know about it beforehand. And when I responded (admittedly a bit more hostile than it should have been), I get the "If you don't conform to my standards of how I think you should act then I'm leaving you" speech.

What the fuck? It wasn't like it had been bugging me for a long time. It was something that was nagging me for maybe a day or two and then it passed. She berates me because, as she said, I'm "treating her like a child"; stop acting like one, then.

I see a blissful union ahead.

I couldn't help but chuckle at the irony wrapped in sarcasm. Thanks; that helped a little bit.

Shitty, dude. I would suggest getting something that she doesn't know about. Publically airing your problems doesn't mean she has to see them.

I don't tell most people I know about my livejournal. In fact, the majority of my offline friends don't even know I have one. The only one who does is the girl who got me to get onto it, and we're platonic friends at best, acquaintences at worst. It's gonna stay that way (she has a fiancee).

A guy I know told me that women aren't worth a damn unless they're sleeping with you. He's a sexist bastard, but sometimes I can't help but think he's right...

Correction. WE are not worth a damn unless women are sleeping with us.

Maybe I'm missing the point here, but why post your private feelings onto a website if you don't want other people to read them?

I have yet to understand the concept of a private online journal.

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And when I responded (admittedly a bit more hostile than it should have been), I get the "If you don't conform to my standards of how I think you should act then I'm leaving you" speech.

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Problems should just be kept to yourself, bottled down and forgotten about.

Alcohol helps.

Please keep in mind that women are crazy. If you try to apply logic to their arguments you'll give yourself a stroke. Just think to your self "Holy crap, that was some crazy shit she just said. Atta girl, well done" Crazy is their true medium. Don't try to stifle it.

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Please keep in mind that women are crazy.

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No, mandingo, ALL women are crazy. Then again, men have the potential for it as well.

Just a quick question, how often do you talk to your girlfriend?

If your answer isn't "Every other day, my girlfriend and I have a deep and meaningful conversation", duh, that's where you went wrong. You expressed a part of yourself that was more than just "you're cute, wanna fuck" mentality and it wasn't to her first and directly. That makes her feel like nothing more than your hump bag and she might as well be made out of plastic. If this is all she's worth to you, would it be so bad if she leaves?

Women like to talk. Women also like to argue, which is why the woman role in the household is so typically depicted by a crazy haired woman in a housecoat, holding up a rolling pin ready to smack the husband character on the head and obviously screaming or well on the way to it. Our emotions get the best of us, and men typically aren't supposed to have emotions, or if they do, they're not supposed to show them. And when you do and it's not to a girl, man are you a pussy! Which may also be why your girl is wigging. She probably thinks you've crossed over to the homo side and she's questioning whether she had something to do with it. I haven't seen the material in question, so I can only offer these two things as psychological guesses.

that post didn't grow up with alot of brothers

I've only got two, and I only talk to one. I've officially disowned the other.

I think you ought to just tell her to shut up.

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I think you ought to just tell her to shut up.

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the sane ones usually grew up with alot of brothers, were tomboys, or have both male and female sexual organs

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if you didn't qualify, i would have created a fourth group called "is ivytheplant"

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Maybe I'm missing the point here, but why post your private feelings onto a website if you don't want other people to read them?

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I wasn't intending for it to be private. Throwing things like that out into the open helps me get over them.

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I think you ought to just tell her to shut up.

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I think you ought to just tell her to shut up.

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I'm annoyed, not suicidal.

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Just a quick question, how often do you talk to your girlfriend?

If your answer isn't "Every other day, my girlfriend and I have a deep and meaningful conversation", duh, that's where you went wrong.

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She definitely wasn't this needy until I got deployed, I can tell you that much.

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I'm annoyed, not suicidal.

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I'm annoyed, not suicidal.

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Hire someone to shit in her purse.

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...that I typed out and posted on my LiveJournal..

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...that I typed out and posted on my LiveJournal..

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Geez...you have one of those stupid, girly diaries? To solve your problem, just induce alcoholism. Its perfectly healthy and conditions you for your ball and chain.

--S. Dummie

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I thought that military guys had some kind of a shack where they all went to drink after a long day of holding up a gun and looking impressive. At least, that's what Hollywood has lead me to believe.

Also, while we're on the subject of "girly" things, there was a news report about firefighters, police officers, and military men having counselors on TV the other day (following a story about a car accident that killed all 6 passengers of a minivan). I personally feel that the media has no right to expose these kinds of things. I know they're out there, most of you see things that are too tragic for the rest of us to take and if you don't talk about it, it'll haunt you forever. But I don't think it's good to just put it out there, it will likely make us normal people, who work in offices and the worst action we see is a pencil penetrate a soda can with our office guns, think differently about the people who serve and protect us. Like the military is weak -- after all, no one had counselors after WWI or WWII. So why put it out there for the world to judge?

That's because Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome wasn't recognized as being a serious problem until after Vietnam.

So in other words, you don't really care if people think you're weak for having psychiatrists and counselors on hand? You don't care what the country you're serving thinks of you and you feel that it is their business that these counselors are in place? I don't think it's anyone's business but the people who need them. It creates a distorted image of the military as well as law enforcemnt and fire protection back home. These are people we trust our lives with, but would we be so trusting knowing that they're getting counseling because they go a little crazy sometimes? I certainly wouldn't want a fireman who served in 9/11 to rescue me from a burning building, he could have a flashback and leave me lying there in the flames. Do you see what I mean?

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So in other words, you don't really care if people think you're weak for having psychiatrists and counselors on hand?

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This "war" (conflict at best) is causing all sorts of problems. There was a time when we wanted, nay, needed to not think of our men as humans. At least not ordinary humans. We needed to think of them as supermen, capable of destroying 50 Nazi battalions flying solo. We needed to make heroes out of our soldiers.

Now, we need to see them for who they are. Genuine people who are making selfless sacrifices in a war they may or may not agree with. Regardless of how they feel about it, they are a new kind of hero. They may not be supermen, but they have bravery unmatched by your ordinary person. These aren't people who just got sucked up into this whole fight, they volunteered so that the rest of us wouldn't have to be drafted.

On the other hand, we have the bad apples. The "Let's point at their weiners while we're smoking" types. Those people cause more trouble to the troops than anyone else. Shut up Bush, you're not suffering because that bitch decided those pictures would be funny. HCRoyal is. My friends Mike and Martin are.

It's one thing to say you "hate the war but stand by the troops", it's another thing to mean it. Most people who say that are just wishy-washy assholes who want to save face and keep themselves from getting a martine boot in their asses.

Being a hero carries a heavy burden. If someone can't handle that burden, that's no reason to feel bad for them or say they're bad people. Shit, they're probably still better than the rest of us.

I just get sick when my buddy and I go out, and he's wearing his uniform, all he gets around here is sneers and yells of anger. It's not his fault Bush is a tool and it's not my fault that my best friends are brave. These shitheads are the same ones who say they support the troops but not the war publically.

Bah. I don't know where I'm going with this. Military = Good. Current war = bad. Current president = Monkey. HCRoyal = A good man with a girlfriend who needs to shut the fuck up and give him some goddamned peace.

This is why my friend Mike dumped his girlfriend.

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But I don't think it's good to just put it out there, it will likely make us normal people, who work in offices and the worst action we see is a pencil penetrate a soda can with our office guns, think differently about the people who serve and protect us. Like the military is weak -- after all, no one had counselors after WWI or WWII. So why put it out there for the world to judge?

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So in other words, you don't really care if people think you're weak for having psychiatrists and counselors on hand?

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Why would anyone think that? At worst they might think of our troops as human, which is a far cry better than what they're portrayed as now; maybe we wouldn't be so eager to let Washington send them meaninglessly off to the slaughter in that case.

It's more likely people will think less of those who stigmatize the mental health industry after all, for believing that steaming plate of crap Tom Cruise has been serving up.

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There is nothing in the law that states they can't say if someone's been to a counselor. They can't point someone out and say "He's been seeing a counselor for X amount of time" without that person's consent. They can't say what the counseling is for. Yes, back in the forties they didn't give you counseling. If you had a problem, you went to the chaplain, and he told you to suck it up. But back then a higher ranking enlisted soldier or an officer had the authority to beat the shit out of you if you made them angry.

All I'm getting from your argument, Chicka (and I don't mean to be insulting) is that we, being the people with the most stressful and dangerous job in the world right now, have less of a right to be seeing therapists and chaplains than you folks at home who, as you put it, will probably never see anything more serious than a papercut.

There are people who deserve it. I have seen guys going home to a face forclosure and repossession on their house and belongings because their wife/fiancee/girlfriend spent every dime they earned on the front lines and maxed out their credit cards before dumping them the week before they came home. If you honestly think that soldier shouldn't be allowed to see a counselor, you need to rethink your priorites here.

If the worst you have to worry about is a boss who's an asshole, consider yourself lucky. You don't have to worry about some local who pretends to be your friend for months just so he can pull a suicide bombing and kill you and your entire platoon a couple months later.

I'm lucky. I'm in probably the safest area over here. I have the ability to go online. I have the opportunity to call home to my family. I don't have to wear 30 pounds of body armor everywhere I go. I just have to look for IEDs when I go off base. And that scares me shitless in of itself. I know what they're putting in those things, and I know what 20 pounds (yes, 20 pounds!) of C4 can do. I don't need to see a counselor because I know I could have it a hell of a lot worse.

If they're saying a lot of soldiers are getting counseling, then good! It shows everyone in support of the war what the consequences are. Think about it: if soldiers and firefighters and police are affected by this stuff and they're supposed to be 'better' than everyone else, people are going to start being more active in stopping all this bullshit. Because if it's bad enough to shake America's Finest, how long will it be before it starts to directly affect them?

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If you honestly think that soldier shouldn't be allowed to see a counselor, you need to rethink your priorites here.

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Okay. Not my intention, but looking back on my post I realize I did turn everything around on you. My apologies.

The fact is that the American public needs to understand that we are people/. We are not machines. We are just like you, we're just doing something no one else can or will do. We are trained to do a job, just like anyone else. We get a paycheck just like anyone else. We pay taxes, we eat, we sleep. We most certainly bleed if wounded. And we are affected by stress just like anyone else.

Stupid broken tags...

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I feel my family is safer knowing that these soldiers, firefighters, and police officers are getting the help they need. I would rather they be portrayed as human beings than have their suffering be ignored until they can't keep it bottled up anymore and hurt themselves or others.

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Finally. Your opinion on this as a soldier, which is really what I was looking for in the begining. Have fun when it gets exaggerated into after dinner massages in the mess hall.

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Finally. Your opinion on this as a soldier, which is really what I was looking for in the begining. Have fun when it gets exaggerated into after dinner massages in the mess hall.

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By the time that happens I will be out of the military and looking at the soldiers with disgust. Besides, anyone who needs that type of coddling is declared mentally unfit for the military and is booted out post-haste.

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I hate to be out of line, but back to the original question of this thread. I can't imagine that the one you love would be so offended that she would hold anything against you. Especially in your current situation. What would my grandma say? All will be forgiven after you have the freakiest, butter churning, utter yanking, pig roping sex ever. But don't ask me because I just broke up with my girlfriend and I might be a bit angry.