"Okay, you little half breeds and godless children of divorce..today we are going to learn why you are lucky to be in public school and why you should strive for minimum wage, if you don't end up in the prison system. Then...POKEMON!!!"

Kids:
"YEAH!"

5. You get to watch my booty wiggle while I write on the board.

5) Only in America can you catch an episode of Law & Order on TV 133 out of the 168 hours in any given week.

5. We have made creative torture of dissidents with heavy oil supplies an art form.

5) Because we're not France

5) Evolution is a crock.

6) Chalk doen't last as long as it us

5) We don't have to connect cursive letters together like everyone else does.

5) We're Canada's big brother

5) We wear nifty colored ribbons as a true sign of our support of various useless causes.

That's not true at all!

Actually, we wear rubber wristbands.

5) We can bully the world into doing what we want under the pretense of "defending justice".

5) Any student who disagrees will be summarily shot.

5) Pluto was a Roman God

5. We can illegally download photoshop to make fun of the other guys.

5. Our celebrities will adopt your babies and give them a better life.

6. We have the correct God. Everyone else has the wrong ones.

it's because of exactly this type of curriculum that the FBI took little notice of Mrs. Browning's 3rd grade class, the most active splinter cell in the United States

How to tell which members of Pastor Phelps' family have teaching degrees.

latent. 

5) because, contrary to popular belief, several wrongs do, in fact, make a right!