quote:
I just never like that Hitchhiker crap. I was more into Star Wars and Star Trek and Battlestar Galactica
Oh yeah, Battlestar Galactica, that was fine writing there. Let's see, we basically have a flying USS Nimitz being hounded all over space by what looks like the result of a homosexual tryst between Darth Vader and C-3PO, with added design features such as a visual system that plays a never-ending game of Pong and a voice synthesizer that sounds like one of those tracheotomy guys. These things have driven the human race to the brink of extinction. That just makes all kinds of sense. And humanity can only be saved by a rag-tag band of maverick pilots who also happen to be models. I guess when you put an aircraft carrier in space, you have all kinds of extra room for hair salons and tanning booths. That's the future for ya.
There was so much wrong with this show and the horrible, horrible decade that vomited it forth, that I had to go to the Sci-Fi Channel's website to refresh my memory. I found there was a reason I'd blocked it out. Just check out these plot summaries:
LOST PLANET OF THE GODS - PART 2
After a mysterious pulsating star leads the Galactica fleet to Kobol, the lost planet of the Gods, Baltar, leader of the Cylons, launches his attack.
WAR OF THE GODS - PART 2
At first thrilled that a mysterious stranger on board will lead them to Earth, the Galactica leaders discover their benefactor is the evil Prince of Darkness.
FIRE IN SPACE
Commander Adama is critically injured when Cylon warriors carry out a kamikaze-like mission against the Battlestar Galactica, causing a raging inferno aboard the ship and threatening the lives of the last survivors of the human race.
The writers of this show must have regarded ideas as disease-carrying vermin to be stamped out with extreme zeal, because I can't find a trace of them in these plots. I mean, their enemy is the Devil? How long did they wrack their brains to think that one up? How about Space Kamikazes? Didn't one of their writers ever look up from his line of coke, take the rolled-up hundred-dollar bill out of his nostril, and say, "gosh, maybe war in space will be different from the Battle of Midway?" Oh, and when you're all out of plot points, you can always make the heroes incredibly stupid and have them follow pulsating objects and Satan himself wherever they lead. Look, if you see a pulsating star zipping around, get away from it, because the only thing it will lead you to is a critical test of your radiation shielding.
And multi-parters titled "This of the Gods" and "That of the Gods": Any writer who gets his "science fiction" ideas off Von Daniken books should be required to file for mental bankruptcy.
Yeah, the "Hitchhiker crap" got annoying, mainly because of people who, having performed from memory every existing Python sketch until normal people started pushing them in front of buses, needed something new and funny and British to run into the ground. I mean, these were people who were knitting Dr. Who scarves with the colors in the right order. But at least Douglas Adams didn't live in terror of plot and character.
Whoa-- did I type all that out loud?