Forum archives » Read My Damn Comics » 4 ways to get dumped by your girlfriend - 1

fashinsta11
September 14, 2008 12:40 PM

 

 /comics/fashinsta11/441171/

tell me if you like it & if I should make #2

 

Post #264797link

User #57622
September 14, 2008 12:45 PM

Pretty good man.

Post #264798link

Beeko180
September 14, 2008 4:03 PM

I like it too. You had a great use of the Narration. You also had the perfect storyline. I think you should make another one. It would be a site to read. Keep up the good work

Post #264802link

lima
September 15, 2008 5:18 PM

Aye, good enough, it all fits together nicely even if the punchline, although funny, isn't too 'punchy'. In my opinion you could decide whether to use 'Now I don't have to tell her she's a bad kisser' OR 'What was her sister's number again' as the punchline, and it may even benefit from taking the first sentence out completely. If it were my comic, i'd have left the last panel with the girl saying simply nothing, giving the guy a perplexed and accusatory stare (or at least thats how it'd look to me), and the guy thinking 'Now, what was her sister's number again?'. That's me and my style though, and many will think the comic works better as it is now. This is because its good anyway.

But yes, make more, please.

Post #264853link

fashinsta11
September 15, 2008 6:28 PM

quote:

lima wrote:

Aye, good enough, it all fits together nicely even if the punchline, although funny, isn't too 'punchy'. In my opinion you could decide whether to use 'Now I don't have to tell her she's a bad kisser' OR 'What was her sister's number again' as the punchline, and it may even benefit from taking the first sentence out completely. If it were my comic, i'd have left the last panel with the girl saying simply nothing, giving the guy a perplexed and accusatory stare (or at least thats how it'd look to me), and the guy thinking 'Now, what was her sister's number again?'. That's me and my style though, and many will think the comic works better as it is now. This is because its good anyway.

But yes, make more, please.


thanks for the tip, i'll surely put it to use :)

Post #264861link

attitudechicka
September 15, 2008 8:47 PM

What was the fourth? Or is that a set up for the proposed sequel?

Post #264864link

bike
September 16, 2008 2:56 PM

I agree that you've got lots of potential, so keep 'em coming.  My 0.02USD would be to remove some of the visual clutter.  I understand that using the explosion background in the 2nd panel contributes to the dialogue, but it also gets in the way.  Also, I'm not sure why the 3rd is red.  IMHO, the background should simply be the background and should not occupy any more of the reader's attention than necessary.  Sorry to nitpick, but I do want to see more!

Post #264895link

fashinsta11
September 16, 2008 3:05 PM

quote:

attitudechicka wrote:

What was the fourth? Or is that a set up for the proposed sequel?


I don't have a fourth, but I'm about to do number #2 right now, Read it!!

So this is a proposal for the sequel :)

Post #264896link

Forum archives » Read My Damn Comics » 4 ways to get dumped by your girlfriend - 1

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