Welcome to everyone competeting in the most prestigious of all comic competitions the comic cup. One of you will be a legend and one of you will get a bitter 2nd place like mandingo did last year. I love ya buddy, but going for the knock knock joke was a bad move.

To celebrate the first round all the rules for the first round match ups will come from various contests I have won over the years. One of you will do a good job of making a good comic like mine and defeat their foe. One of you will lose and probably never show up to vote. Please, everyone, when you are voted out please keep voting. Lets keep this thing strong and lets support eachother here. This is important stuff!

All the first round match ups will take place in this thread. All votes will be posted to this thread. When either a) majority is reached or b) a reasonable amount of time has passsed with no new votes, I will then call the winner based on either of the probabilities listed before this. 

The first match will be between:

Lord_vodek vs jes_lawson

The rules for this contest will come from the first legit contest I ever won, CC 67 hosted by evil_d. Here are his rules which you must use for your first round match up:

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evil_d wrote:
For CC67, your mission is to write a comic that appears bad on the surface, but is actually somehow funny.

What makes a comic appear bad? Take some cues from these strips. Use L3375p33k. Capitalize everything. Omit all punctuation, unless it's replacing a letter. Abbreviate wherever humanly possible. Make inside jokes and obscure references that no one else will ever get. Misspell every other word. Use six different characters and three different backgrounds. Rely on cliches like spontaneous combustion, a foul-mouthed Jesus, or pointless randomness to provide humor. Overnarrate. Stretch backgrounds. Do whatever you can think of to make it the kind of comic you wouldn't even bother to finish reading if you came across it on the front page.

If, over the course of the contest, you find more painfully bad comics on the site, post them here, so we can all be "inspired". (It would help if you clearly marked your entries, so they don't get lost. It will suffice to put the Contest number in the title or to say "this is an entry" when you post.)

What can make a seemingly bad comic funny? That's up to you. I don't care why it's funny, as long as it is. Write a strip that turns our agonized wails into hearty laughter. Your entry's likelihood of winning is a combination of how bad it looks and how hard it makes me laugh.

Multiple entries are permitted. Submit your strips within 72 hours of the time of this post. That'll be about 10:30 pm Sunday, EDT. Judging will take place within a couple of hours of that time.

Good luck, and may the best worst stripper win.

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That's good news since because of the volcano, we are all reduced to sleeping in ditches and eating stones here.  Maybe that's just me.  

Anyway, one terrible awful comic within 48 hrs, promise

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crabby wrote:
CC 67

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I just went back and read that thread and laughed all the way through it, at comics and posts alike.

Ah, the good old days.

Looking forward to the upcoming entries. 

One awful entry as soon as I have some inspiration(before friday) coming up!

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Lord_Vodek wrote:
One awful entry as soon as I have some inspiration(before friday) coming up!

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So, the cup will be done around 2011 at this rate. I hope everyone is in this for the long haul. 

Fuck it. Where am I gunna go? Toledo?

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evil_d wrote:

quote:

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crabby wrote:
CC 67

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I just went back and read that thread and laughed all the way through it, at comics and posts alike.

Ah, the good old days.

Looking forward to the upcoming entries. 

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Holy crap, how did I not win that contest? The fluffy bunny in law didn't eat the squirrel because she wasn't too NUTS about them? Hahahaha..... ha?

Brad needs to unlock bongo!!! someone start a petition.

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attitudechicka wrote:
Holy crap, how did I not win that contest? The fluffy bunny in law didn't eat the squirrel because she wasn't too NUTS about them? Hahahaha..... ha?

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You know, you're right.  That comic is a lot funnier than the one that I actually gave you an honorable mention for.

But crabby said it best.  Could the winner ever have been anyone but him?

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crabby wrote:

P.S. I'm gonna be pretty lenient about time periods with the first round so just have a good time!

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If neither posts a strip by friday night, the first two people not in the cup to post a comic to the said rules will take their places in the cup and we will move on without you. This is moving at a snails pace and with the rules of make a shitty comic, you both could have shit one out when you posted a message to the thread. I love you guys, but come on... step it up.

/comics/Lord_Vodek/493884/

Shitty enough?

 My comics are usually crap enough, but for this one, I got really hung over and pulled this one off*

/comics/jes_lawson/493945/

Sweet. So when does voting start?

The voting starts now, both entries are in, start posting who you think had the better comic. Which was the funnier shitty comic? I'll have the rules for the 2nd magtch up of the 1st round later today or possibly early tomorrow.

 For future reference those of you who have never competed in one of these after the comics are posted you vote on which you like best. That is the way these work.

Lord made too much sense, so I am going to have to cast my ballot to Jesley, specifically for making me cringe to an overplayed pop song.

Jes managed to adhere to the spirit of the rules better. I vote his as the worst best comic... or the best worst comic... or whatever, I dunno.

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ladyjdotnet wrote:

Jes managed to adhere to the spirit of the rules better. 

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I agree.  The nod goes to jes. 

LULZ L0rD \/0D3|<'$ (0/\/\1( $U><0r$  jes_lawson FTW!!11111

jes_lawson for the proverbial 'win'

when can i compete i think i do ok comics? i mean there pretty funny

sorry, Vod's, Jesley ftw

Also rose123, this is a closed competition. Check out the other Comic Competitions in this forum that are open to all users.

I knew it made too much sense...Damn...Oh well...Congrats Jes

Jes sucks worst. So I vote for Jes.

Sorry, Lord_V...your's was just too good :( 

No need for apologies I had a feeling it made too much sense...I should have just looked at my really old comics and taken inspiration from that...they sucked enough

Also I vote for Jes because his made less sense and succesfully gave me a headache on the first reading.

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Lord_Vodek wrote:
Also I vote for Jes because his made less sense and succesfully gave me a headache on the first reading.

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I had a tremendous headache this morning when I wrote that strip.  Uh-oh... Scanners...

Voting isn't over yet folks, please show your appreciations before either Lord_Vodek or myself's head pops like a fermenting melon :)

I'll be the one to vote for Lord_Vodek.  Though both of them did better than I could've with those rules.

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Lord_Vodek wrote:
Also I vote for Jes because his made less sense and succesfully gave me a headache on the first reading.

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Remember, you can't vote during your own competition

I agree with the majority. jes_lawson gets my vote.

My bad...Oh well he'll win with or without my vote.

I cast my vote for fuck leek.

jes_lawson

Well, with 9 votes already cast, Jes win by a majority. Congrats to Jes and Lord_Vodek, I hope you continue to stick with this thread and vote even though you were knocked out first. Good showing to you both.

 For the next match we have, brycekain  vs attitudechicka:

The rules for this contest will come from the another comic contest I ever won,  CC187. The rules for this contests are were originally written by fuzzyman and are as follows:

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fuzzyman wrote:

The theme for this contest is... Shakespeare.

• Main rule: You must portray a scene or scenes from a newly discovered Shakespeare play, hidden from existence until now because it is so godawful.
• Series are okay, but if you go more than 5 or 6 episodes, I will fall asleep, causing me to bump my head on the table and think bad thoughts about you.
• Extra points for using iambic pentameter, though it is not required.
• Extra points for mentioning or using kidney stones as the subject of your play. Why? My wife has one right now so it comes to mind, and it's my contest so get OFF MY BACK YOU FREAK!!!!
• As ever, being funny counts for more than anything.
• Contest ends... late Wednesday, SC time.

Let the games begin.

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Good luck to you both, if nothing is posted by wednesday night the first two strippers to post a comic that follows these rules will take the place of the users who do not participate.

 Good luck to you both and may the best stripper win!

For inspiration, here is my winning entry from that particular contest.

/comics/crabby/146337/

 

Entry

/comics/brycekain/494003/ 

/comics/attitudechicka/494028/

I forgot about Fuzzymans extra points for kidney stone rules since he was having kidney stones at the time. I feel like you both focused too much on fuzzy's extra rules instead of just the overall spirit of making a comic which redoes shakespearre. I think my comic is a beautiful example of the rules. I hope there isw no hard feelings with the loser of this match up.

Hysterical. Both of them. Tough call...Hmmm...Ummm...After flipping a coin to see what I'd have for breakfast I decided purple eggs and ham...and BryceKain Sorry Chika loved your comic but Bryce's ending was terrific

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crabby wrote:
I feel like you both focused too much on fuzzy's extra rules instead of just the overall spirit of making a comic which redoes shakespearre. I think my comic is a beautiful example of the rules. I hope there isw no hard feelings with the loser of this match up.

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I tried to adhere to the rules that fuzzy determined as best as I thought 14 other people would interpret them. In a CC, you only have to impress one person, in a cup, you have to get into the mind of several people and, once you've accomplished that task, then you have to actually stimulate their humor region. I don't have access to a shrinking submarine with hand attatchments.

Additionally, the old rule "If you have to explain your joke, it's probably not that funny" translated into "If you have to make excuses for your comic, it's probably pretty shitty" is absolutely true in this situation.

I'll have to go with brycekain, despite his glaring mistake that kidney stones would of course be cut out, not off.

My vote goes to brycekain as well. Sorry Chicka. A part of me yearned to vote oldschool stripper, but I have to vote where the funny is.

"Fuck it! Cut 'em off!" is a tremendous punchline given the set-up with the "thee'" and "thou's" and "thineths"  Outright hard to disagree with voting for that.Like, really hard. 

However chicka's Merchant Of Venice reference doth steal my vote.  Subtle,  well set up it was, that goodly joke. 

I wanted to vote for Bryce's but since she has a good joke and I've got a soft spot for eloquent deprecations I'll give my vote to chicka

I'm tempted to vote for Chika's comic since I know there's a damn good joke in there somewhere...but I just can't find it so I'm going to have to vote for brycekain.

I vote for brycekain. 

I am not a sheep, I am not a sheep!!! I AM NOT A SHEEP!!!!

All those Shakespeare plays I own aren't just for impressing women and keeping ring shaped water stains off my coffee table. Going with chicka for this one.

chicka

I would love to give a reason, to uphold the tradition of doing so, but the only one that comes to mind is in bryce's, the "kindey" stones in the first speech bubble distracted me. To no end. But that's a horrible reason, so that won't be the one that made me vote the other way.

I give the nod to Chicka.

5-5 so far. VEEEEEEERY CLOSE RACE!!!!!

Just a heads up, in the case of a tie vote, I will be the tie breaker.

I vote for brycekain, too, for his abuse of Shakespearean English in the 2nd panel which I spent a good 75 seconds trying to understand before I went on to the third panel.