While drawing and colouring this one, I thought it might be worthy of a thorough captioning...

- "Funny you should ask, cuz that's a really funny story, officer..."

-"So I woke up with this beer bottle glued in my hand, and now I can't find my damn pants!"

Why does Dr. Boorite come in a bottle? (I know - old joke)

"I got a bottle in front'a me AND a frontal lobotomy."

"The hearts on the boxer shorts are because I'm a warm and caring guy... now bring me some more damn beer, bitch!"

Have you ever had that dream where your cartoon avatar is wandering the internet in it's underwear?

Yes, I forsee many comics of Boorite wandering public places in his boxers.

"Boorite coming in to work on a typical day..."

- "Hi, I'm here to pick up your daughter, Mr. President."

Adrian Zmed tried to take advantage of him while he was drunk.

We should post all new characters to Caption Mountain. Kind of a baptismal by fire.

- Have I been drinking? No. ..."Have" implies past tense.

- All stood in awe as George Jones successfully performed the heimlich on Freddy the Mailboy. Never one to be outshined at an office party, boorite gets off the secretary mid-hump, pulls a kidney from his chest, and offers to donate it.

- You want me to explain the boxers, the stolen car, and the kilo of coke? Asking a little much, aren't we, officer?

- Unsure whether he likes the boxers, boorite tries them on in the dressing room. Confident they'll be broken in by tomorrow's mid-morning ball scratch, he decides to purchase them.

- Fired? Why?

- Once she saw him in boxers, she knew he'd been telling the truth. His ass was on backwards.

- And when the boorite character was revealed, there wasn't a forum user that didn't cringe. DexX maintained his tight-fisted control on the "10-fingered forumuser" title.

- It was a simple word association game. Cat - Dog. Tree - Green. But when the therapist said "park" and boorite pulled down his pants, grabbed the toner bottle, and stood motionless for 28 minutes, with an eye twitch as the only sign of life, the therapist thought he might be onto something. Unfortunately, he had a 2:30 polyp waxing, so it'd have to wait till next session.

- People in the supermarket looked at him funny, but he had to practice. Only 53 days till the Super Bowl.

- To get past his terrible memories of high school, boorite decided to address them head-on by attending his 15-year class reunion. Unfortunately, he walked by Jeremy "Lunch Money" Biggers' table on the way to the punch bowl.

- ...and playing the part of Dionysus...

- Everyone thought he was a really bad strip poker player. Truth was, he wanted to see what it felt like to be naked around his mom.

- Forlorn, boorite stands in front of a mirror and simulates what it would be like to masturbate if he didn't have an innie.

A little excessive, but spinnwebe's IADL section's been down so long I was getting the shakes.

quote:

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- And when the boorite character was revealed, there wasn't a forum user that didn't cringe. DexX maintained his tight-fisted control on the "10-fingered forumuser" title.

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The last thing a six-pack ever sees.

I just can't get over how accurately DexX rendered my manly likeness: the bulbous head perched atop the magnificently sloping and rounded shoulders, the powerful wrists, each easily the diameter of a throat lozenge; a hint of sexy underpants, shirttail covering just enough goodies to leave something to the imagination. The beer permanently grafted to the hand. Why, if it had a mat of alluring leg hair, I'd swear I was looking in a mirror!

Seriously, if you pulled up to the front of my building at midnight in a car with loud music playing and chanced to look up, this is what you would see yelling at you from my balcony.

And my wrists: I can't wear men's watches without poking some extra holes in the watch band.