Film from the racquet camera is currently at $US9,000,000 on ebay.com

Sales of the DildoRacquet[tm] soared, but many matches were lost because of slippery handles...

Giving birth during a match was bad enough, but when she saw her baby resembled a tennis racket she was driven to tears...

That's nothing, I know someone who can fit the other end in.

You should see her backhand.

Good thing she doesn't play javalin........

The bionic tennis player could produce rackets at will, simply by pressing a button located in her eye...

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You should see her backhand.

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Overdosing on tennis can cause severe clitoral deformities in women.

"I'm so sorry!" begged the tennis racket. "I was playing in the forest when all of a sudden I fell down a rabbit hole. Before I knew what was happening I shot out here!"

Anna contemplated Phoning Enrique to complain that she had gotten another racket stuck in her snatch , but realised that hed just end up writing a song about it.

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Good thing she doesn't play javalin........

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She appears to have something lodged in her eye.

"In other headlines, tennis superstar Venus Williams has reported that most of her tennis rackets have been sabotaged. She reported earlier today in a news conference that the handles to all of her equipment have been coated in a 'grimey, white substance' and deemed unfit to use because they are too slippery. She had already injured two ball girls and a line judge by the time this had been discovered. On another note, Anna Kournikova has apparently dropped out of the running due to a strange personal 'infection'...."