NAW JUST KIDDING. DONT REALLY JOIN IT

Classic Lyrics...

"I am Afro-Man,
Swingin' through the trees from the Ku Kluk Klan
They have pointy hats
and they wanna' beat me with baseball bats"

The Klan is silly. At least the Nazis used cool imagery borrowed from their Germanic ancestors.

What does the Klan use? Ponty hats and burning crosses...

I will grant you that burning crosses are cool, but come on.

As a sign of the changing times, I have become the FIRST black member of the KKK!

Although it's really odd that my hood's got a bullseye right between the eyes. Oh well, at least they let me make burning pentagrams now and then. ^_^

Sorry, that fills my mind with Blazing Saddles quotes...

"Oh boys! Look what I have heah!"
"Where's all da white woman at?"

*scuffle*

"Qualifications?"
"Stampedin' cattle."
"That's not much of a crime..."
"Through the Vatican."
"Kinky! Sign here..."
"Uh... how many times have I told you to wash your hands after weekly cross burnin'? See, it's comin' off..."

...

"...and for my next impression... Jesse Owens!"

*runs like hell*

Last week, my neighbor left his Rottweiler out to bark for three hours straight, and I called the cops so they could hear it and write him a ticket. He'd actually told me to call the cops the next time I had a complaint. He got home before the cops arrived, and when I told him they were on the way, he went crazy and stomped around in the street saying, "Where are you fucking from, West Virginia?" He had this huge fucking nephew who was offering to kick my ass, but my neighbor restrained him, reasoning that "if the police pull up and see a black man in the street..." So I guess the problem with beating the shit out of your white and therefore Appalachian neighbor is that the police will arrest you because they are racist.

I was going to say something about racism but I forgot what it was.

As it happens, I was born in West Virginia, but I don't think the man could have known that.

See, that's the problem: Everybody plays it one way and when the shit hits the fan, they play it another. He might have told you to call the cops if his dog barked, what he probably meant was: "Call the cops, motherfucker. I don't care. Fuck you." Point is, when faced with the idea that he might actually get a ticket and have to pay for not having the courtesy to control his pets to where they weren't disturbing the peace, he played....

-={OMINOUS CHORD}=-

The Race Card(tm).

Allis' lovey dovey shit is cool, and hands across America and yadda yadda yadaa, but we will never have equality until two men, - one black, one white - can hate each other's guts and argue non-violently without either one calling the other a racial or ethnic name.

Take off the clown masks, folks, and sweep your own doorsteps, first. And use a broom. Not a white sheet or a red, black and green flag.

My mother was also born in West Virginia. My father's side of the family used to tease her and try and make her look like an idiot for being, what they assumed, was a "hillbilly". All they managed to do was alienate a kind and capable woman and make themselves look like bleeding idiots. That was 50 years ago. How far have we come?

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I think we all have a little xenophobia built in, and we all get a kick out of laughing at people based on inborn characteristics like race, gender, weight, height, being wirthling, and so on. But I think it becomes a problem when a person takes his own prejudices seriously and really believes all black people are X or all white people are Y. And it becomes more of a problem when such a person uses his prejudices as an excuse for his own behavior. And even more of a problem when the person is so proud of his stupid bigotry as to wear a uniform or stomp around the street shouting it out loud. And worst of all is the honky who can't laugh at his own white ass.

Me, I like to think that I have, in my years, acquired a modicum of funk and perhaps even a smidgen of soul.

Anyway, that is my brief anatomy of a moral problem in America, a subset of a larger epidemic, which I call hypocrisy.

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I think we all have a little xenophobia built in, and we all get a kick out of laughing at people based on inborn characteristics like ...being wirthling...

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As a black person, I find that offensive, except that I'm actually white and don't find it offensive.

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Bizarre story I bring up only out of free association: My first wife and I, and our drummer Mike, were playing a show in a coffeehouse in downtown Baton Rouge. (This is like saying downtown fucking nowhere.) So we were hanging around the van outside with a bunch of teenage hipster types when these two big BIG beefy dudes hauled up and one of them took my little twig of an elbow in his bearlike paw and said:

"You look like a JEW. Are you a JEW?"

He gripped my elbow in a sure but casual kind of way, as you might grip a fried chicken wing just before you rend it into conveniently chewable portions. His huge beefy friend looked embarrassed and was tapping him on the shoulder and saying things like "no" and "let's go," but the guy was determined. "Are you a JEW?" he insisted.

I looked way up into his narrow piggy little eyes set into his cliff of a forehead and said, "Vhat, me Jewish?" in my best horrible Woody Allen accent. He looked puzzled, so I ripped off a John Lovitz joke: "I might be a little Jew..... ish!"

I thought, oh shit, I'm going to have to knee this joker in the nuts or whack him in the windpipe, but he'll probably mop the street with me, oh shit! But his friend got him to leave.

I'm not even Jewish.

.... but to finish that thought: I'd rather get beat up for being Jewish, even if I'm not, than be forced to stand there on the sidewalk denying it. I felt that I'd be in cahoots with the racist if I said, no, I'm not a Jew, please go beat up the next guy. I would rather say, sure I'm a Jew if you say so, now please smash my face in.

I did the same thing when they changed the only queer bar in Baton Rouge to a "straight bar." It was all frats. I went to check it out with my gay friends, and the new bouncers threatened us and kicked us out and said the bar wasn't for us queers anymore, and as far as I was concerned, I was gay as a tree full of parrots at that moment. I suppose if McCarthy were interrogating me, I (a proven capitalist) would say, "Hell yeah I'm a Communist. Fuck you."

I have no idea what this has to do with anything. I guess the phrase "JOIN THE KKK" unleashes certain memories, many of which I haven't even mentioned.

Great strip, Nate. A perfect example of the third-panel stunned silence.

You're unlikely to be accused of being black, at any rate, boo. :)

You have obviously never heard me bust a rhyme.

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lol!

My mother is half Native American but her folks tried to deny there skin - a form of social climbing. When you see pictures of my grandfather you can't help but wonder how he ever thought he would pass as white. Here is a story mom used to tell me.

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I don't know shit about my native ancestry beyond that story. But then, by dad never told me anything about his Bohemian ancestors either.

Did someone say Bohemian?

Bismillah NO! We will not let you go!

lol ??

LOL ???
L.O.L. ?????
laugh out loud ???????

!!!! WE ARE NOT IN A TEENIE CHAT FOR FUCKS SAKE !!!!

besides, spot the prime number pattern represented by '?' s ???????????

p*2=2^m+2*n (where m -> max)

sub_m7

omfg rotflmao wtf?

I was grateful for the props. So what if they were in shorthand?

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I thought yours was funny, too, but I was too aloof to actually say so. You see, I have to imply everything through irony and sarcasm. Drives waitresses crazy.

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NAW JUST KIDDING. DONT REALLY JOIN IT

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