No one told Ricky how annoying his pet dog was. Mostly because of his pet knife.

Don't I look scary with my yellow plastic knife?

Home spaying and neutering. Call Jack at (555)555-FIXX.

And this is a picture of me and my best friend on vacation near Yellowknife. Snork. Chortle.

It took three overtimes to declare a winner, but finally Andy Hubbins prevailed in the "Dopiest-Looking-Man-In-the-Most-Retarded-Pose" world finals.

I was hoping for a few sinister entries...

Sinister? they guy is stoned from sniffing dog piss off a knife. How sinister could it be?

"Well, I guess this puppy isn't going to sacrifice itself to Satan while we drink its blood out of a human skull. So who brought the Marilyn Manson albums?"

Come here Poochy. Today's the day your Daddy teaches you how to shave.

If you want to see your puppy again, send 2 baskets full of brownies to 666 Evergreen Terrace

Rex was so proud he'd finally taught his incessantly stoned owner to hold a knife without cutting himself.

"YOU LIKE? HE FRESH MEAT! GOO' CHOICE! YOU WANT LOTISSILIE STY-O, OR YOU WANT SHREDDED IN MY GENERAL TSAO EXXRA SPICY? OK, GOO' CHOICE, HE COMING RYE UP. YOU PICK UP FOO CLOCK... DAT FIFTEE MINUH! FIFTEE MINUH! ALLITE? YOU WANNA POLK FLY LICE- HAHAHHAHAHahahahahhh... man... it... it's like... heheheh... like, those guys really do talk like... like that... like without... heheheh... like..."

Actually, the guy is just showing the size of the knife. The knife had to be surgically removed after the little dog SWALLOWED it.

The guy IS English. I don't know if he's stoned.