All comics by Battleganz2

 

by Battleganz2
5-12-04
Did you hear?
What!?!?!
Battleganz is back.
...
My female viagra just kicked in.

 

by Battleganz2
5-12-04
I'm leaving you John Steele
Wha...?
What's he got that I don't?
Can you say "10 year warrantee"?

 

by Battleganz2
5-12-04
Brian Billiegoat runs for president.
Vote for Billigoat in 2004, because I will fight for young people like you.
I will raise educational requirements for teachers, and spend...
... millions of dollars funding our after school programs becau- Would you stop stapling your head you fucking retard?!?!?!

 

by Battleganz2
5-12-04
WWF: Mid to Late Nineties
Can you smell what the Rock is Cookin'?
WWF:2000(Invasion)
Who's Gayer than Kanyon?
WWE:2004
Call me Mister Thursday Night

 

by Battleganz2
5-12-04
This is channel 34 News at 10:00. And now for the Weather
This forcast is totally fucked up man!
No kidding, when that warm front hits we are totally FUCKED!!! Holy Shit!! Do you see those fucking clouds?!?Holy Shit!!!
Puddles so fucking deep, you'll drown God Damnit!!!Look at that pink shit flowing in from the North. 'You see that shit mann!?!

 

by Battleganz2
5-12-04
And now back to channel 3d News at 10:00
In other news...Ahem...Excuse me, Brian. Brian. Brian! Plug your hole you Shithead.
Hey! Hey! Fuck you lady! FUUCK YOOU!!Take a look at that Mother Fucking Shit Storm and then talk back!
Cut!CuT! Both of you come over here and Lick my ass right now! I'm the only prick on this show who gets to curse!!!Karl, cut to the fucking Bush Economic speach already!!

 

by Battleganz2
5-12-04
Overall, today's weather shouldn't be nearly as Fucked up as last week's.
Look at the fucking beautiful sky. Ahha not a storm in sight. Just beauti-
Holy Shit! What the fuck is that?! Oh my sweet GoD?!?
Hey, calm down. We accidentally plugged in an old Stallone Flick...jackass

 

by Battleganz2
5-13-04
My fellow Americans. We must preserve the sanctity of marriage in this country and-
Umm excuse me mister president. This is a debate on the constitional evil of the Patriot Act.
Oh, I see. You alll must really think I'm fuckin' around with you evil doers.

 

by Battleganz2
5-13-04
Dipstick!!!

 

by Battleganz2
5-13-04
Now we're back to Channel 34 News at 10:00
That cold front's gonna fuck me up! He's after me!
Holy Shit!! It's the COld Front, He found Me!!
No, It's cupcake delivery you Shit-Kicker.
Cupcakes?!?! I Fucking hate Fucking cupcakes!!!Fucking Fucks!!!

 

by Battleganz2
5-13-04
Bill
...
Yeah
?
... Mind taking your hand off that Goddamn button please?

 

by Battleganz2
5-14-04
A reception for the international "who's who"'s.
Who's that guy.
He won the pullitzer prize for Molecular Biology
What about her?
She single handedly cured 50% of world hunger.
Oooh!Oooh! And who's that dude with the glasses?
...I don't know, some Fuckoff...

 

by Battleganz2
5-14-04
And now we go to Brian with your weekly forecast
Seriosly Brian, is something wrong with you?

 

by Battleganz2
5-14-04
And now back to the channel 34 News at 10:00
And now weather with our new replacement for that total Jackoff Brian!
I will be paid in human Flesh
This is my boyfriend, confederacy.
'Love you honey bunny.

 

by Battleganz2
5-14-04
Weatherman Bill Jeers his slightly homosexual crony(friend).
Man I'm hungry.
I think there's a free buffet at your mother's house.
?!?!?!?!?
COCK STALKER!!!

 

by Battleganz2
5-14-04
Have you ever wondered why we see so many more commercials for toilet brushes?
We need the practice.
The terrorists are gonna pump us so full of chemicals by next year that we'll be shitting acid.

 

by Battleganz2
5-14-04
That's right Suckas. Check out my online EverQuest persona.
...the Fuck?

 

by Battleganz2
5-14-04
Where the FUCK are those Assholes?!?!?!!
Where the FUCK is them Assholes?!?!?!1

 

by Battleganz2
5-14-04
30 Minutes Later
You're leaving Me?!?!?!?!

 

by Battleganz2
5-14-04
Do something Stupid!!!

 

by Battleganz2
5-14-04
Heh heh heh heh
... The fuck is this?!?!?!
Stop drawing over my Fucking photographs BRAT!

 

by Battleganz2
6-23-04
Mister Ryan, how do you respond to allegations from your own political party that you lead a deviant indecent personal life?
That is NOT true.
As a god-fearing Republican Conservative, I hold sacred the same traditional FAMILY VALUES that Howard Taft died in the Korean War to protect. I'm not one of those stupid Cry-Me-A-River Liberals.
Nothing lights my rocket fuel more than straight, missionary sex with my white, blue-eyed, upperclass, conservative, white wife.

 

by Battleganz2
6-23-04
Ah.. An E-mail
Hello, I'm the former Prince of Nigeria. My kingdom was recently overthrown by the evil Blood Eagle tribe. My parents were both brutally sodomized and then shot in the face with lazers and missiles.
Now that I am all alone, I have nothing better to do than send desparate emails to short, stringy nerds from millions of miles away. Please send me $19438470297572034704...I'll let you wear my crown.

 

by Battleganz2
6-23-04
Man, I sure do love sitting down in the fields for a nice grapefruit
Freeze liberal. I've caught you using obscene language not suitable for Families.
Listen "Double-O-Zero", I didn't say the word Rape, I said Grapefruit.
Don't you think I know that? Don't you think I know that I'm a stupid waste of bandwidth?
Quiet, or the webmaster will hear us.

 

by Battleganz2
6-24-04
WIll there be anything to drink sir?
Well, umm. Umm. Hmmm. I- Um.
You know, I'd really like to suck on those juicy tits.

 

by Battleganz2
8-06-04
I know that you've spent hours waiting to be interviewed, but do you have 15 acceptable forms of ID, 35 references and 500 years of experence
Are you the child of a wealthy and generous business owner? Do you have 20 or more doctorate degrees, 99 billion dollars in the bank, lots of friends and a high-powered enviable social life?
All accept for the wealthy father bit. I was born homeless.
Sorry you little bastard. We can't hire you. Go get mugged or something
ok

 

by Battleganz2
8-09-04
Preview of Unreal Tournament 2007 Online
I've got the ammo, you scout out the area
Dude, my girfriend is totally blowing me right now.
Ohhh god.. Uh.. Uh
L33tmUnkyMan Has logged off of the server.

 

by Battleganz2
8-09-04
Preview of Unreal Tournament 2007 Online
No fair. You never told me about the Cowboy Mutator
Whatever noob
Preview of Unreal Tournament 2007 Online
wait a sec.. don't shoot. Let me check through my menu options.
Preview of Unreal Tournament 2007 Online
Oh No!!!
I like Angus!!

 

by Battleganz2
8-09-04
Preview of Unreal Tournament 2007 Online
Hey Demonstrike, What are you going to do when we get back to base.
Why do you ask?
Uh..I..I was thinking we could go out for some health packs or something.

 

by Battleganz2
8-09-04
Preview of Tribes: Vengeance online
Fan out Hennagen! We're gonna find that stupid sniping Doicho!
Ok ok
Well, do you see anything yet?
I spy a Grumpy Gilligan for sure!

 

by Battleganz2
8-09-04
Preview of Tribes: Vengeance online
Ok Sweetie4412. Drop the inventory station, then get in a good cover fire position.
OOOhhhhh FLaaaaaag
Where the heck are you going.
Backkuuuup!!!

 

by Battleganz2
8-19-04

 

by Battleganz2
8-19-04
Excuse me sir, do you have a nickle?
Leave me alone. You're not my responsibility.
Why don't you get a job you bum?
Are those KFC Chicken Strips I smell on your breath?
Yeah, so what?

 

by Battleganz2
8-19-04
And now back to our new FOX fall lineup.
Later
2 Yes honey.
1 Daddy
Why is that girl from Joe Millinair such a skank?

 

by Battleganz2
8-20-04
Hey man... nice planet you have here.
Hey asshole! Wake the fuck up! I'm talking to you!

 

by Battleganz2
8-23-04
Oh my god. You are so charming and witty and cute.
You totally respect me and treat me right
Don't forget.. I'm also a GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKING SHITTILIONAIRE
I'm 50 years old in real life.

 

by Battleganz2
8-23-04
From the makers of the mediocre AVP computer game.
In a world where stupid, greedy producers don't feel like making a really good movie out of fear that stupid yuppies won't waste their money because the film is to "complicated" for their overpaid....
Something is stirring, something more creepy than suddenly realizing that you are the single most intelligent being in the entire theatre...

 

by Battleganz2
8-25-04
Now I've got you Agent Tex
You know what curiosity did to the cat.
Please god, don't kill me! I swear to god, when I become president, I'll give you all the tax breaks you want! Please!

 

by Battleganz2
1-04-05
High kids, I'm the snowman. I'd like to ask all of the pranksters to do me a big favor and stop adding carrot-nipples to my chest every year.
Also, it's still unclear who the smart guy was who shoved a Lincoln Logg into my trunk and dumped warm egg nog on it.
Leroy. If I ever see yo cotton-pickin', punk ass on the street again, two shits and a nickle says I'ma fuck yo puss' ass up!

 

by Battleganz2
1-22-05
City planners hammer things out
Ok... we'll make a special section for the street performers over there.
Shouldn't we sprinkle some asphalt over there first?

 

by Battleganz2
1-22-05
Outdoor wax museum...
Hey babe... I am sooo cool.
Y-You know why?
Cuz my shirt... it changes color... see? Man I am so cool.

 

by Battleganz2
3-18-05
Oh, I see. You are the highly-trained assassin ordered to kill me.
This temple shall be your tomb. You old hen.
Now, what do you want on your tombstone?

 

by Battleganz2
3-18-05
Oh man. We just completed the corporate takeover. I'm pooped!
Ta ta DuIe! Dange Dosche!!
Buddy, you can't prove a single word of that.

 

by Battleganz2
3-18-05
I want to be a game designer when I grow up.
I think i have a lot to offer to the game design industry as a whole, especially in the areas of character and plot development.
Great. I'll need somebody to port my sorry ass to the Playstation 2.

 

by Battleganz2
3-18-05
Listen white guys. Why won't you buy into my personal saving accounts?
It's not like any of you will live long enough to recieve benifits from social security.
More than half of you will be in prison by the age of 24.
And another thing; Stop running for public office!!

 

by Battleganz2
3-18-05
Uncontrollable angst. Hatred all around me.
And everywhere I go, I see...
The same fucking asian kid following behind me.

 

by Battleganz2
3-18-05
One of these things is not like the other.
One of these things just doesn't belong.
I got stoned on meth and passed out in the lunchroom freezer.

 

by Battleganz2
3-18-05
Have you noticed lately that some rotten motherfuckers have been pissing on the blue line train?
Oh dog, I smelled that stuff too. I think it's some lame attempt to scare off the yuppies.
But, I'm poor and i ride the blue line.
Yuppo...

 

by Battleganz2
3-19-05
It all begins under the surface.
You think you can escape, but movement is futile.
It starts with the "terrible 2's".

 

by Battleganz2
3-19-05
Sally. I wonder what you would do if I asked you out.
Hold on.. I.. Let me think.
I'd kick the fucking shit out of you.

Showing page 1.

Next »