All comics by Carpet-head

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by Carpet-head
8-13-01
It's the year 2000, and DJ Luck & MC Neat have been unleashed upon the world.
Bo
Selecta
A year later, garage has become even more irritating and shit, but even Jesus and Satan can't resist.
Do you really like it, is it is it wicked?
I'm luvin it luvin it luvin it, I'm luvin it like this
Is there enough room up on that cross for two?

 

by Carpet-head
8-13-01
Hell, 3pm
Hey Death
Hey Satan
What you been up to today?
The usual
Tea?
2 sugars, please.

 

by Carpet-head
8-13-01
Marcus lived in a bin. When Terrence asked him what he was doing, he said...
Get the f*ck away from my bin, b*tch.
Ah sh*t, a madman in a bin. Just what I need...
However, Terrence was a policeman and promptly arrested Marcus, who was clearly insane.
Ah b*llocks.
In prison, Marcus was assaulted by a mad Welshman who drove nails into his own head.
F*ck a duck!
MWAHAHA!!! WHO'S LAUGHING NOW, HUH?! AARGH!!!!!!

 

by Carpet-head
8-14-01
Having escaped jail, Marcus decided it was a good idea to take a stroll in the local park.
Why are poeple looking at me funny?
Larry the posh circus dog needed his help. However, Marcus was not in a quick-witted mood...
F*ck a duck, it's a talking dog on a ball! What do I say?
Hello old chap, would you happen to know the way to San Jose?
Woof.
Don't patronise me, you insolent fool! My mother is Lassie! I could have you killed! Excuse me while I smoke my pipe...

 

by Carpet-head
8-17-01
In the last episode, Marcus was outwitted by a dog. This led Marcus to consider suicide...
I am such a sorry piece of crap. I live in a bin and a dog outsmarted me. What's the point of carrying on?
That's it, son... go on... give yourself up...
Marcus continued to ponder his purpose on this Earth
I mean, is there really a purpose to my life? Is this it? Would anyone really miss me? *sigh*. What does it all mean?
For f*cks sake hurry up - I've got a mass killing in Kansas in 20 minutes...
The Reaper gets impatient
F*ck a duck! I'm on fire!
Yeah whatever. I'm off. See ya.

 

by Carpet-head
8-17-01
Just before Satan's bed-time...
I'm not watching this sh*t... take this, b*tch!
And now on BBC1, Ground Force with Alan Titchmarsh
*sigh*

 

by Carpet-head
8-17-01
As always, Frasier and Niles are shouting in posh voices.
Niles you insolent fool! Don't you know that Daphne has rabies?!
Psh. Frasier, Daphne does not have rabies.
Surprisingly, it was all just a big misunderstanding.
Daphne, do you have rabies?
No.
Frasier is shit.
Chardonnay?
*Lots of fake laughing*

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