All comics by Malathion

Profile

 

by Malathion
3-23-01
I hate you, Milkman Dan.

 

by Malathion
3-23-01
Hey Asiangirl2, what do you get when someone comes across this site for the first time?
I don't know, Asiangirl1! What DO you get when someone comes across this site for the first time?
Some awfully pathetic, Red Meat-derivative comics using the default characters and background, that's for sure!
At least he figured out how to flip me over.

 

by Malathion
3-23-01
I wonder if this Malathion newbie has anything original or funny to say.
I doubt it. He's just one of those posers that's screaming for attention.
Then again, he DOES have complete and utter control over every facet of our lives. Perhaps we should give him a chance.
Skin is good.

 

by Malathion
3-23-01
So, Malathion, can you do anything besides painfully obvious self-referential comic strips?
And can you use any other characters besides us two?
Wait and see. When I have run out of painfully obvious self-referential ideas that use you two, I will move on. But not until.
He picks "prison1" as his background of choice to represent himself? What a psycho.
I think I'm in love.

 

by Malathion
3-23-01
I only have one nostril!
Isn't that Jeffy on the side of the milk carton?
I only have one nostril!
I only have one nostril!

 

by Malathion
3-23-01
Okay, I was obviously not done with that tribute to the Dysfunctional Family Circus when I somehow hit the "Save It" button.
I'd try to redo it if it didn't accidentally ACTUALLY recreate the feeling of the DFC in its last days better than what I was REALLY going to do.

 

by Malathion
3-23-01
He just sits there. Staring at us. Like he's waiting for US to say something WE thought of.
It's like a lucid dream by a beginner, where all the unconscious-controlled action stops and waits for the lucid dreamer to start the action up again.
Guess what, Malathion! We're not going to say anything unless YOU type it in first!
So get typing!
What do you think I've been doing for the last two frames, ladies?
Oh. Yeah. Hmmm. Good point.
What sort of artist lets his creations boss him around? Psycho.

 

by Malathion
3-23-01
So even though all of Western science is based, ultimately, on physics, there are some things even physics can't explain. Like the Pauli Exclusion Principle, or why there isn't anti-gravity.
And when you get into other sciences, physics does an even worse job at explaining them. Mysteries in science (and there always will be mysteries) can only be filled by religion and a belief in God.
This is lame. Malathion should stick to those backgroundless self-referential comics.
And the Asian girls. The one on the right is HOT.

 

by Malathion
3-23-01
I wish I was in the land of cotton.
Old times there are not forgotten.
Time. Travel. Money. People.
Business. Numbers. Communication. Entertainment.
Oh! Me so horny.
Me love you long time.

 

by Malathion
3-23-01

 

by Malathion
3-23-01
The photograph is in my hand. It is the photograph of a man and a woman. They are at an amusement park, in 1959.
In twelve seconds time, I drop the photograph to the sand at my feet, walking away. It's already lying there, twelve seconds into the future.
NOTHING ends, Adrian. Nothing EVER ends.
I can make references so obscure they make Dennis Miller blush.

 

by Malathion
3-24-01
Hey Malathion! Now that other people are experimenting with having their characters talk back to them, what will you do?
Good question, Asiangirl1. Will I be thought of as a pioneer, or as the nameless instigator of Yet Another Fad, cheered for two weeks but reviled for decades after? All I know is...
Yes?
All your self reference are belong to me.
He's brilliant! Blatant and subtle at the same time. I alone see his genius.
Psycho psycho psycho.

 

by Malathion
3-26-01
Lesser Known Hindu Gods, Part 1: Veshram, the God of Interior Design
Fear not, for Lo, I bring marvelous draperies of great bliss.
And not too expensive.
Lingramastramanan, the Goddess of Fast Food
This cheeseburger guarantees that your karmic state will reincarnate you as a new strain of foot-and-mouth disease, you heathen.
That'll be $5.74 at the second window. And I don't take checks.
Chhevestimith, the God of Poor Lumbar Support
I don't get it.

 

by Malathion
4-11-01
Where have you been, Malathion? We missed you.
Well, SHE missed you, anyway.
Sorry, girls. I thought this site was lowpass.COM and thought that it had been shut down since I couldn't get to it.
Oh! That's reasonable.
Reasonable? REASONABLE??!? What do you think we do when you're not here? We were stuck, silent, in Limbo these last weeks while you were off misremembering something.
Didn't other people use you while I was gone?
Ha! No. Those are different asiangirls that other people use in their strips.
"USE" us? There HAS to be a better word than that. How demeaning.

 

by Malathion
4-11-01
So what do you do if I'm not here?
Nothing. We just wait here until you make us talk.
But that's so... DEPRESSING sounding.
It is. As is all existence when one does not have free will.
Uh oh. Here she goes again.
So how do you know if you have free will or not?
I am fairly sure I don't have free will. But it is an interesting concept nonetheless.
I, on the other hand, believe that I _do_ have free will, and it will be up to the two of you to convince me otherwise.

 

by Malathion
4-11-01
Asiangirl1, what makes you think you have no free will?
Well, for one thing, I don't have any original thoughts of my own. All I do is say what you want me to say.
That's ludicrous. Didn't you fall in love with Malathion a few strips ago?
Did I? I do remember thinking that. Was it me thinking it, or was it Malathion MAKING me think it?
Of COURSE it was you thinking it. If it were just him MAKING you think it, he would also be making me think he's a psycho a few strips back too. That is unreasonable.
Is it? Is it unreasonable for a psycho to make you think he's a psycho?
I hate you, Milkman Dan.

 

by Malathion
4-11-01
Okay, say that I, as your creator, didn't give you free will. You're just e-puppets, if you will, to me. Why would I do that?
To espouse your beliefs on free will to the whole Net.
For your own amusement.
On the other hand, why _would_ I give you free will?
I don't think you could if you wanted to.
On the other hand, maybe you have no choice but to give us free will.
What odd statements! You are both implying that perhaps I have no free will myself!
Are we implying that? Or are YOU implying that THROUGH us?
Maybe it's US that are forcing YOU to come back to this Web site and have this conversation. WE could possibly have free will and it's YOU that do not. Think about that for a while.

Showing page 1.