All comics by PunkkRoccPrincez

 

mmm...WORK IT
shawn what the hell are u doing
click clickity click
uh uh nothing bob CANCEL MOTHER FUCKER
what the ...hey she looks familiar
shit...hmm think..i'll blame it on chad!
IS THAT MY MOM !?!?!

 

Chads First trip to StarBucks
Well sir We have Tall Grande And Slim
OK Yes you've said that but i just want a Medium Coke
So then you want a Slim Cola
uh no maybe ur not hearing me a MEDIUM COKE
Next
I want the cash register and a Grande Moca Coffee Please

 

Bobs School Therapy
What bothers you most?
People
Could you please expand
I hate people who whine bicker and argue
mm i see...so lets talk about something else now
...they make me wanna chop up there bodies into various pieces and flush them down the toilette

 

mmmmm
u look like that guy who sued mc donalds because he's a fat fuck
uh i am excuse you
Ever consider stoping after u had 15 burgers? I mean who the fuck took on ur case ? what do u say to the judge? Yes Ur honor i'm a fat fuck and its all b/c of Mc Donalds? Give me a Fuckin Break
uh uh
Someone should stab u in the face with a really hot french fry i hope u choke on ur own fat u fat fucker

 

THE POST OFFICE
EHK dude i got a question what Smells
i think its this fuckin Arab
dude what the fuck why cant they just pick up a bar of soap and put it under their arms I CANT STAND THE FUNK whoever in this line smells please tell me i will take u to a dollar store and buy u SOAP
15 minutes later of eye watering stench
Ur right Chad it was the Arab

 

Dating Advice From Bob
Bob what should i do i need a g/f
ok heres some pointers: 1.If shes got more cleavage then a plumbers ass dont get involved its just gunna get in ur way when u wanna control her
oh ok
2. heres a good test if she pulls u over to a window with jewelry in it smash her head into the window and run or call me i'll do it!
3. Watch out for bitches who give u pet names like my Boy...if they ever do that u drop that bitch like a rock...or call me i'll do it!
this is good advice thanks bob...ur a good friend to have!

 

Bob's Rant
certain types of pple in this world that piss me off 1. people who stalk their ex. g/f's do somthing with ur life do u know how many video games are out there that u could be playing...
at the very lest shoot ur self no one wants to deal with a stalker
Also people who whine about their relationship problems ..you know what no one cares about ur sex life and how ur penis is to small
get fuckin viagra or dick pump and live fuckin life
I also hate people who listen to every rose has its storm as if its the worlds most depressing song
you know what break the cd in half and slit ur wrists no one will notice except maybe ur neighbors who rejoice b/c they never have to hear that bullshit again

 

Do you know any one by the name of possum
yea... he was that guy on the news who got cought exposing himself to old ladies
um chad exactly what news station do u watch
the superstation
thats a fucking movie station u moron
No its not havent you heared about that guy who stole i think it was 50 cars in one night his name was nicholas cage i think

 

Sams School Play
Oh my god tricia they put me as a stand in for the play that bitch kristi got the spot
Oh well that ok... i have a feeling she wont make it any way
Hey kid heres 20 bucks i want you to find and beat kristi mcguire
Beating costs an extra 10
sam why are u wearing that
some one beat up kristin maccy so i have to fill in as the hooker

 

Chad attempts to lighta fart on fire
Bob can u really light a fart on fire and if so could u use ur ass as a flame thrower?
Never tryed... why dont u demonstrate it
Chad attempts to lighta fart on fire
i'll try it on that cripple kid
do da do do dum
Chad attempts to lighta fart on fire
GOD DAMN that singed my ass hairs

 

Crystal and Brandi's Master Plan
Ok u distract erica while i sneak up from behind and shove a plunger up her ass that will surprise her
Ok but i still get to whoop her ass after the plunger
Hey Oinker come here
Owe!..... Damn ur fat! .... Do u where Deoderent? ..... Bitch!
Crystal was that a can of tuna sticking out?
I couldn't find the plunger...but at least she looks like one of those hoes on Jerry now...and i think the can fixed her wattle

 

BREAKING NEWS
Today two boys were seen leaving the robbery of a local liquor store taking liquor beer cigarettes and an entire stash of milk duds
It still confuses police as to why they stole 200 boxes of milk duds. Police Chief warns all civilians these criminals are evil geniuses ...
I didnt steal no milk duds
Hey chad can u go make me a sandwhich i'm starving
we're out of bread...want some milk duds?

 

Shawn hands Chad the weed
Oh shit shawn that cop is looking right at us here hand me the weed
alright here ...just be cool ...be cool
Chad flashes the weed the Police Mans face
what u got there son
oh hello officer i was just looking for you... lok what i cought this little punk with
Put ur hand on the wall dont move...i'm arresting you for possesion...u with the red hair take a walk
but i cought him with it...i was doing the law a favor...i'm an important man with connections i went to grade school with maddonna

 

Bob and Chads Field Trip
Bob why are we at a Museum
We are extending our knowledge on Culture and History and we have nothing else to do
Oh ok... so we get to see naked chicks from back in the day for free
i guess from ur point of view that works too
Damn this mother fucker lost a bet... i'd hate to have o pose for this sculpture

 

Chads Rant
Ya know i'm so sick of holiday tv specials i mean halloween is cool u get candy but x-mas u think i'm gunna let some fat bastard break into my house and leave junk under a tree
No Thanks. Do u know how many homes i've lost because some fucker had to have a x-mas tree outside his trailor
and then easter rolls around and were all suppose to worshop some dumb bunny...tell u what i see an oversize bunny i'd shoot with a tranq. and sell him on the black market
Then we have valentines day...ok so because a baby goes around shooting people & were all suppose to fall in love
I'd take that baby a put clothes on him first & for most then take his arrow and shoot him in the head re-cock that shit and foom shoot him again
besides its just a holiday where guys go out and buy a 5 dollar box of choc. w/ the assumption ur gunna sleep with him...so its like legal Prostitution...heres some candy sleep with me...fuck that

 

WAR PROTEST
No War!! Peace in the Middle East!! No War!!
Hey man, i know how u feel i was in the Great Riot of Detroit back in 1995, bloody bloody day.
Really never heared of it
Oh yeah we had a black out and those damn army people shot me with a pellet right in the knee
I'm sorry to hear that
Yeah i got a scar but i dropped the t.v i was carrying and so i sued the govt. for how much the t.v costed so its all good... the govt. takes care of it's war hero's

 

P O L I T I C S
Dad what is politics?
Im the breadwinner of the fam so Im capatilism ur ma is the owner of the money so shes govt The govt. is the provider for the pple so ur the pple ur lil bro is the future The nanny's the working class
LATER.The baby shit in his daiper He went to tell his dad He only found his ma asleep in her bed He went to tell the nanny The door was locked He looked thru the hole Saw his dad in bed w/ the nanny.
?
Next day Chad told Bob the whole story
So if what my dad said was true what does that mean?
OK, while capatilism is screwing the working class, the government is sound asleep, while the people are watching the future being pooped on

 

Chad ur dad is such a red neck
what? why the hell is he a red neck?
Ur jack-o-lantern has more teeth then he does

 

People Who Should've Won This Years Nobel Prize
1. Britney Spears & Eminem
Who, combined, have written more books than they''ve read
2. Dr. Phil Mcgraw
Who has managed to convince millions of women to buy his self-help books, despite the fact that his most hight-profile patient, Oprah Winfrey, is an overweight woman with serious commitment issues.
5. Bill Gates
For creating the X-Box and convincing Americans that their children need a $200 video game system during a recession

 

Chad waves gun in her face and attempts to rob Burger King at 12:50 am
All right give me all your money
i cant open the register w/o a food order
ok onion rings and a cheesburger
Those arent available for breakfast

 

What to Do with a Internet Asshole
Possum: I don't know how anyone thinks those pieces of shit are even slightly amusing..your comics suck
is that a fact..then why do u continue to read them
Possum: They're complete garbage and they should be criticized...and i have nothing better to do
well instead of insulting others personal entertainment i make use of my time..let me show u
Bob Visit's Possum
Fucking Jew

 

The Holocost...The Slaves
Jews... They are worse then black people sometimes
LETS BLAME HITLER LETS BLAME THE NAZI'S if the black community can get away with it so can we
Think about it...jewish people always get shit half off or run there businesses at lower prices and owe less taxes then the rest of the usa
and for what because they suffered in concentration camps
i'm sorry
but i dont believe it was YOU that suffered it was ur g-ma...SO STOP WHINNING thats like saying my g-ma fell down the stairs and the life insurence money should go to you...fuckin jews always scamming

 

Squeeky Clean
Chad ur such a slob
what are u talking about
u got whip cream or some gunky white stuff on ur pants
no i dont
yes you do right there
shit i have to wash these now..3 weeks of non washing...my record went right down the drain

 

Bob Answers Hate Mail
Dear Bob and Chad ...Your last cartoon was disappointing I think you could do a lot better… “Blah Blah Blah ...Signed Some Shmuck named Possum
hmm... must be jewish
Dear Asshole, u can go fuck urself because I don’t give two shits about what you think. If you got shot in the head today by your own mother I wouldn’t care. I hope you grow up to have many childr
and each one of them have their throats slit and have their guts taken out of their own body and smeared down your throat
What I find disappointing is your lack of creative sentence-structure within your email; you are a poor example of a human being. Have a nice day, thank you for watching and please come again.. -Bob-

 

Super Mystery Cult
Dear BoB, we are proud to present you with the opportunity to be accepted into the Cyber-Satan SuperMystery Cult. Please take the time to view our website for further details. Satan knows where u live
thats wierd
Excuse me. Super-mystery cult. Not just some ordinary cult. It's a super cult. The Cyber-Satan Super-Mystery Cult.
Look at all the free stuff you get. Look, you get the Super Cyber-Satan Super-Mystery Cult mug, a shirt, a hat, an upside down cross, you get one of those pentagram things You know you want one
You joined the cult already, didn't you?
Super cult. All hail the mighty John Frum**. Now where‘s my ice-cream and motorcycles, damn it!

 

The Bank. Chad writes to a suggestion box.
I’m not one to complain, but your banking staff is as slow as shit. My suggestion is to hire some English speaking staff.
My money says “the United States of America” not the “collective nonsense of India” or the “north Korean regime” the denomination of currency here is in dollars, not Pesos, not Rubles..
and certainly not fucking Euros I’d like to hear some God damned English coming out of your God damn bank tellers you pieces of crap!
I’m so sick of this! I hate having to use sign language to do a bank transaction. Signed, Chad
Dont foget to put.."I’m appalled your current rate of interest being 0% I know the economy is bad but take it out on the Jews and not the upper 1% of Fucktards.

Showing page 1.