All comics by RedCapulet

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by RedCapulet
3-17-05
Hello, and welcome to What Really Happened in Movies, your host, RedCapulet!
In this show, we present "alternate endings" of what happens during certain scenes in some movies. lolol
Hello, I am part of the "Kill people who say lolol" organization. Prepare to die.

 

by RedCapulet
3-17-05
Johnny English: First Scene
Ah...Heckler and Koch G36. Quite sexy in the right hands...er, I mean..uh...
BANG
Hah, since the background is black, I have an excuse for nobody seeing my G36. I'm so awesome! Take that Stripcrea-
RedCapulet 1:2 "And the heathen spoke out against the System that is Stripcreator, and was silenced.
OH DEAR GOD!
Why do I live still!?

 

by RedCapulet
3-17-05
Merry Christmas Mr. Drizzizzle!
What the fug?
Christmas Elf: A Level 4 Dire Squirrel with a battleaxe!
FEEF
What the hell?
Note: I have nothing against Jews. Jews are awesome.
What the? A Jewish Mafia lackey?
THOU SHALT REFER TO ME AS D'NITH'ATIEFER, MY DARK NAME OF THE DARNED

 

by RedCapulet
3-17-05
D'nith'atiefer? Did you get your "demon name" from an online generator or something?
Well jeez, you didn't have to be so mean about it...I thought it was cool...
And dark name of the darned? What, you didn't believe in Gosh or something?
Well, I have to admit, he was a bastard..
Demons don't have feelings! And here you are acting like a $&#@#!
WAAAAAAH! NOBODY UNDERSTANDS ME!

 

by RedCapulet
3-17-05
Sorry man..
*sniffle* I just wanna be big and bad like everyone else...can you help me?
Sure. But let's call you something else...besides D'NITH'ATIEFER or whatever.
I always thought B'rijin'firkaal was awesome...
This is gonna be harder than I thought...
Or maybe Lino'firnes'tiopaith...

 

by RedCapulet
3-17-05
You know what an evil name is? George.
You mean the first name of the most incompetent world leader ever!? YOU'RE A GENIUS!
Excellent, now your first lesson in evil is to intimidate that stupid looking 11 year old goth over there. Gogogo!
You got it!
Wow, this guy is good.
As the Moon of the Rot sinks beneath the horizon of darkness, I shall acquire a young lass. Then I shall feast upon her organs. First I shall grab her succulent heart, biting into the sinew hungrily..

 

by RedCapulet
3-17-05
My tastebuds will ascend to a state of sweet ecstasy as I dig deeper into the girl's vital organs, the fluids all over my oral cavity...and I shall go into a state of nirvana...all shall bow...
I'm only tree and a haf yeers old and this dipshit just ruined my childhood.
Back already George? How did it go?
I learned something.
Yeah?
Never fuck with a goth armed with an encyclopedia of descriptive adjectives.

 

by RedCapulet
3-17-05
And the professor responds "That's no hyproxilion THAT'S MY WIFE! HAHHWHAWHAWHAWHAW!!!"
...
...
I have GOT to get a new friend.

 

by RedCapulet
3-17-05
*chop*
*Rapid fire at a cyclic rate of 900 rounds per minute with an enviable accuracy*
Well damn.
Ow...

 

by RedCapulet
3-17-05
What the hell?

 

by RedCapulet
3-29-05
I can't find a masked fox thingy in Stripcreator, so I present Swiper as a lizard. lolol
Swiper no swiping! Swiper no swiping! Swiper NOOOOO SWIPING!
Fuck this shit, I'm out of here. "Swiper no swiping!1!" Oughta kill Nick Jr. where they stand...
Swiper!?
D'aetihn...uh...D'thaeian....you know what, I'll just call you George. So George, is it really you?!?

 

by RedCapulet
3-29-05
Holy shit man, what did you do when you got out of film school?
Well uh...I can tell you one thing. I'm certainly not that Swiper on Dora the Explorer. No sir.
Really? Well, that's settled then. I want you to meet my new friend, Drizzleizzle.
Right...
OH MY GOD! IT'S SWIPER! SWIPER NO SWIPING, SWIPER NO SWIPING, SWIPER NO SWIPIIIIING!
Damn it.

 

by RedCapulet
3-29-05
So tell me Swiper, how did it feel to be constantly ridiculed by a Hispanic girl to the amusement of children everywhere?
It sucked. I only had two lines for any episode. "Aw man!" and "You're too late! You'll never find it now!" and-WHAT THE HELL IS THAT!?
Where!?
Heheh, sucker, I got his wallet.
What happened to my wallet!?
You're too late! You'll never find it now!

 

by RedCapulet
3-29-05
Eh?
Oh, uh, you know. Urges. I've been doing this for so many years, it kinda grows on you, ya know?
...Uh, can't say that I do.
Right...
Meanwhile...on the set of the latest Dora the Explorer episode...
What the? You DON'T see Swiper?
Hey, what the hell's going on over there!? Don't make me give you the TREATMENT!

 

by RedCapulet
3-29-05
Checking up on George
Wow, so many things happening in one day..first I find this goth, then I see my buddy from film school...
A little to the right of George....
Come on Boots, we gotta find Swiper before the director molests us!
Yeah, we have to find Swiper! Never mind that I'm an incompetent dumbass who serves nothing but to say "SAY BACKPACK" or OMG HELP HELP or DORA DO THIS LOLOL or do something only to be corrected...
Are you ok?
I hate being an extra.

 

by RedCapulet
5-02-05
A cowboy walks into a bar...
Hello mate, can I get ye anythi-
He forgot to duck.
OW CRAP!!
GI Joe: When you walk into a bar, you are exposed to alcohol and low hanging bars of death! Don't enter into a bar, because nobody wins if you do.
Now...*splutter* we know! Man, that was my intestine just now...
GI JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOE!!!

 

by RedCapulet
5-02-05
I argue that gay people should have the same rights!
Totally! Then I can dress up with a pink wig and cat ears and dress and not be worried!
*rumble rumble rumble*
What is that!?
!?
*explosion at bar*
Our top story tonight: A bar in downtown was destroyed in a horrific explosion which seemed to be coming from a lightning bolt shot from the sky. The moral of this story: God hates fags.

 

by RedCapulet
5-02-05
What the hell, this beer tastes like shit!
Sir, you ordered that beer six hours ago.
And this can! It's all crinkly and old! What kinda service is this!?
Sir, that is a rusted Heineken can.
...METAL...BEER!?

 

by RedCapulet
5-02-05
Come back here missy! I am the headmaster, and you will obey!
EEEEEEEEEEEEK!!!
Whew, thank god I lost him...
Now then...

 

by RedCapulet
5-04-05
Good evening, what can I get you?
I require information on where an obscure artifact that drunkards wouldn't know but know anyway!!
What does this look like, a video game? Get the hell out my bar!
Damn it.
In the bathroom...
Do you happen to know anyone in this bar who would know the location of an obscure artifact that drunkards wouldn't-
No, shut up.

 

by RedCapulet
5-05-05
Well, just get me the best beer you got.
Fine, that'll be $25.50.
Fine...*sigh* Time to drown my sorrow...
Sad...so sad...a host of sorrows...and you...are one of them-
Shut up, Sorrow.

 

by RedCapulet
5-05-05
Dragon Kick! Eagle's Femur Punch! Duckbill Platypus' Collarbone Chop! Jesus' Wallet Money Hook!
Hey! Stop that! It's all wrong!
He's right, though. Our techniques sound really retarded, I mean-
No no no, you don't use elaborate and graceful moves when fighting in a bar. You smack the shit out of your opponent with a beer mug.
I've been enlightened! Thank you!
...Holy shit, that's the last time I mix my drinks...

 

by RedCapulet
5-09-05
Hey man, I ordered that beer 30 minutes ago, what's going on?
Your beer is being poured.
Six hours later...
Damn it, where's my beer!?
I'm transferring it to the counter...
Two years later, the world has been nuked...
Your beer is ready, sir.

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