Look here, Bud... It's high noon, my period is a week late, I have a god awful headache, and there *you* are with your pants firmly wedged up your arse, ignoring me...
...Or Maybe He Just Needs The Loo...
...Lord Help Me...
I *demand* a refund... Those condoms I got last month ripped *before* I opened the packet... I refuse to accept the fact that tight arsed bastards like yourself refuse to help peon's like me...
...Jesus Runs For President... He's Convinced The Crowd...
More jobs will be made avaliable, while taxes will also be reduced during my rule, along with increased imports and country income from international sales...
...He Has America In His Grasp...
...Make the right choice! *I* *WILL* Make this country a BETTER PLACE...
...But Alas...
But Jesus, I thought dead celebreties weren't allowed to run for President!?!?
Come on son, you know I love you - I seriously didn't mean to eat your family and your dog... Your *Overwhelming love for your father* will not fail me... Release me!
*Sigh* Your not worming out of it this time you black-hearted murderer... Just because I put you in a Retirement Home... You didn't have to eat Aunt Jessie on toast ffs fag0t... (Where's my mallet?)
A Father to Son chat...
...I'll behave... I'll cook / clean for you, even offer you sexual favours... Just let me go...
...Oh... Really? ...Maybe I might... Just *might* let you go...
Yes, and when you do I'll have your liver with some fava beans, and your daughter will be a fitting desert you blasphemous cunt...
(*-Found the fucking mallet-*) - *Yawn* you lost your chance, big boy...
"Pffffffffft, who's a stinky smell0r baby today, eh!? Come here you shitty little pimpkin... Nappy changing skillz ahoy..."
'!*WTF*!'
...Along with an imaginary rank nappy...
"Come here... You little... *Oi!* Come HERE you smelly bitch, don't you want a nappy change!?"
'Holy Jesus, Mary and Saint Anthony... Im not even *IN* Nappy's...'
...
"Fine... Up to you... Think your all independant... All you kids are the same" -::Mumble Bad Childhood Flashback + Memory Loss Grumble::- "Go away so, stink to high heavens - Not my problem..."
My letter here clearly states *That I am a Human Being, and hereby have human rights and am to be treated equal...*
Look you fag0t, your a stick man placed on a comic strip by some twat who, ironically, is shite at making comics... Get with the times...
...Are...
...Maybe so, but I refuse to accept that concept on the grounds that I feel I am alive, and therfor wish to see it that my rights do not change in anyway... What are you looking at me like that for..
Answer me this... Why were you such a cunt to me in the past!? If you had behaved like a normal sexualy depraved father, I wouldn't have retorted to nailing your ass onto a cross in the first place.
Look, you had me on this cross for three days, without food... The *one* day you released me, the first thing I saw was your aunt Jessie, and a slice of toast... I ate the two together... Oh shit...
*Sigh* What now...
...Not A Happy Day For Sonny...
(!) I think I just excreted your aunt down the back of my leg (!)...
So whats it like to be the brutal, savage, invincible, greatly disliked, one man army known as Death!?
IT IS A CROCK OF INHUMANE SHIT - YOU TRY BEING EVERYWHERE IN THE WORLD AT ONCE, CLOSELY MONITORING ALL EXISTANCE ON THIS PLANET AND INDIVIDUALLY COLLECTING THEIR SOULS AFTER THEIR LIFE IS SPENT!
I COULD HAVE BEEN SOMETHING ELSE... LIKE... LIKE A SKELETON, OR A BLOOMING DOG MEAL BUT NOOO - MR.FATE SAYS I HAVE TO TROT ALONG AND KEEP THE UNIVERSE IN CHECK - ALL LIFE IS SUPERVISED BY ME!