All comics by blackhaloinc

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by blackhaloinc
7-27-03
Here at Office Depot, our associates always understand your needs...
Eck-u-me sir, I wanta to buy a fak machine!
God dammit, why doesn't INS deport these fucks?
Our customer service is as fanatical as it gets...
What's the difference between this one and all of the other 200 machines you have in the store?
ARE YOU FUCKIN RETARDED? WHY DON'T YOU USE YOUR OWN GOD DAMMED EYES AND TELL ME THE FUCKING DIFFERENCE?
Office Depot - What you need, what you need to know.
Oh okay! I'll take that one. Can I get a discount please? I shop here everyday!
Ah christ, I think I really am in hell...

 

by blackhaloinc
7-27-03
Nada, Just trying to draw stickfigures
What's up homie?
How do they look?
Pretty shitty man
OH JESUS I CANT EVEN DRAW STICK FIGURES!
Dont worry buddy, I'l help you on your way!

 

by blackhaloinc
7-28-03
One hot summer day...
My airconditioned room is too cold in my fully furnished apartment, my T1 connection doesn't make me happy, and I feel like crying.
Ahh! I can't fucking take it anymore!!!
The fuck are you complaining about? I'm getting sick of your constant whining. What will it take to get you to shutup already?
Well... Do you know any hot chick that doesn't have a boyfriend, that's not a lesbian, and isn't tainted by a history of numerous gangbangs?
Not the kind of chicks I hang with.

 

by blackhaloinc
7-28-03
Ever wonder why bad things happen to good people and why bad people seem to get away with everything?
The hell are you talking about? You get away with everything!
JESUS SAVES THE LITTLE CHILDREN!
Yah your right. I do get away with alot of shit and am still able to sustain my superstar status.
Ow! My spleen! AVENGE MY DEATH!

 

by blackhaloinc
7-30-03
Duck Poetry...
Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack
I am a duck who cannot talk, I am a duck who waddles when he walks. I am a duck who who likes to fly, I am a duck who likes the sky
Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack?
What do I think? I think that's just fuckin weak, Bill. This is Black Halo Inc. I know you can come up with better shit than that.
Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack!
I am a duck who tries his luck, I am a duck who likes to fuck. To hell with that hunter Elmer Fud, I'll whoop his ass mercilessly and drink his blood!

 

by blackhaloinc
8-04-03
New Blackhaloinc staff member's first attempt at drawing a comic.
Careful...Careful...Don't want to screw up in front of the new boss.
So hows the strip coming along, Johnson!? I know when I'm sitting down creative juices stir in my ass.
Why does BHI have such a difficult time finding good artists?
Seems to be coming along o...OOH HOLY SHIT!
Not again...
Short Answer: 'Cause God hates your ass........and us.
AAAHHHH!! I COULDNT BE IN ANYMORE PAIN! OH GOD WHY?!?!?!
Damn, I keep forgetting the hotdogs.

 

by blackhaloinc
8-07-03
So wat did yu think abot my reveiw on Sony's new CLIE PDA? It was also posted on CNET!
Well, it had a whole bunch of spelleng errers and CNET cut out a large chunk of it.
Well fuck man, I asked what you thoght about the actual reveiw, not about the god dammed grammer!
Okay fine, it's decent. You should at leest run that that thing threw MS WORD. Your spelling has been shitty lately.
Fucker...
Dude, even this comic we're in right now is fucked up. We look pretty damn reatarded right now don't we? Good job asshole.

 

by blackhaloinc
8-11-03
Finally all burnt skin flaked off
JOHNSON! Affirmative Action has been crawling up my ass all weeknd they demand women in the comic. Now draw me a woman.
As I walk thru the valley of the shadow of death I shall fear no evil and Ye cast the first stone Ye not be guilty and on that day he created man and from man he created woman and on the 7th day...
SHAZAM!
...an it was good - for a time.
Damn it Johnson, these titties need to be bigger.
HeHe!

 

by blackhaloinc
8-13-03
Disney Land was fun.
YO HO YO HO!
YO HO YO HO!
EH...
Damn those Pirates!
YO HO YO HO!
YO HO YO HO!

 

by blackhaloinc
8-15-03
Hey Mr. Sony executive, why the fuck did you make the PEGA CC5 GPS car cradle so shitty? I waited a whole month to by that shit and it was one of the reasons why I bought the CLIE in the first place!
Haha, you stupid fuck. You of all people should know that people are dumb enough to buy anything with the Sony name on it.
Yeah, you know what, I'm gonna tell the whole fucking world that your product sucked ass. After hearing that you can't plot directions on the fly, YOU'RE COMPANY IS SCREWED!
Dick, you can't do shit. There's enough orders already to pay ten years worth of my salary. Even if people return it, the restocking fee still bathe me in wealth!
Motherfucker is right... DAMMIT!
So umm... can I interest you in an AIBO? For $1299, it could learn to love you. That's not including the required software of course... and the battery charger... and the...

 

by blackhaloinc
8-18-03
Even Black Halo Inc's fearless leader has problems...
Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack?
Well I don't know what happened between me and her. All of a sudden she tells me she has a fucking boyfriend. We've been going out for three months already and this comes up out of nowhere!
Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack?
Well, nothing really. There's nothing that I can do about it, Bill. At least she didn't fucking rob me and cheat on me like my ex-wife did. Shit I think I'm gonna give up for a while.
Oh how the mighty have fallen...
Well, there is the Sony Aibo robot that I haven't opened up yet. Lets see how that works out for awhile. For $1500, it better fucking love me...

 

by blackhaloinc
8-21-03
Hey babe, whatcha been up to?
hehe
Is that all you do? What the hell do I pay you for? Damnit, JOHNSON!!! make this crazy ho do something!
hehe
Bitch, make me a sam'ich!
hehe

 

by blackhaloinc
8-24-03
So how was the Summer Slam?
That pussy Triple H is still the champion. I hate TV, I really do.
Haha, can't believe you waste your life watching that crap. You should be cool and play YuGi-Oh like me. YOU SUCK!!!
Oh no... he didn't just say that...
Moral of the story? Don't piss off the boss or else he'll burn you alive.
AhHhHhHh! MY FLESH! OHHH MY FLESH!!!! I'M SOOOOOORY!!!
BiAtch...

 

by blackhaloinc
8-27-03
One fine day in the aquarium room...
So she straight out said "I dont love you"
Yup, C'est la vie.
So, Life Goes On I guess
Thats what I just said...
Every panel after this one was censored to protect the little children
Nooo...YOU said "say lavi"
What are you a fucking moron, YOU IGNORANT PIECE OF...

 

by blackhaloinc
9-01-03
Welcome to OD how may I help you?
Mmm...Yes, uh how do you make illegal copies of DVDs?
Well...If you mean "how do I backup" my dvds, first you'd need a dvd burner and then the software to do it.
Mmm...yes yes, I have DVD burner and software but how do I make them Illegal?
I'm walking away now before we both get thrown in jail.
A-cu-me If you dont know can you find somebody else that does? Doesnt anybody work around here that knows anything?I need to know go find somebody, I talk to your manager would your manager know...

 

by blackhaloinc
9-03-03
click
click... click
click... click... click
click... click... click... click
AaAaUuUuGgGgHhHh!!!!!! All I want is a little porn. Is that too much to ask!
dude, I got a pop up blocker if you need it

 

by blackhaloinc
9-04-03
CRAZY! I just went to a Cingular Wireless training semiar in San Diego and I won a free phone and 1 months free service
So what you really mean is that you drove for 2 hours, sat in a dark room for 5 more while they brainwashed you into selling their products. Then fucked you over with a 4 year contract.
The phone was free, the 1st month service is free AND you forgot to mention the spiffy cell phone case they gave me at 30% off.
Um... I think you got hosed, Tommy.
Moral of the story: Your boss may be an idiot, but he's an idiot that can fire you stupid ass.
OH GOD NOT AGAIN!!!!

 

by blackhaloinc
9-05-03
So how's the new cell phone anyways?
OMG! It is so fucking bad ass! It's got a bunch of futuristic stuff built into it, like Bluetooth, and everything!
What the hell do you need bluetooth for? Especially on a cell phone? Do you even have anything else with bluetooth?
Well...No. But DUDE! Bluetooth is like, THE wave of the future! You can connect anything to Bluetooth.
You know... I remember when they use to call bluetooth "Infrared."
Your just jealous because I'm surfing on the wave of the future and your just dog paddling behind...

 

by blackhaloinc
9-09-03
Holy damn its Eugene's birthday today!
Crap I know damn it all! Crap! Hell! Crap! What do you get a guy that has everything?
I know its so hard to shop for the most Pimpinest Mofo around.
Remember all that crazy shit we use to do! Damn hes just turning 21 too! Imagine the shit we'll get into now!!!
Come on fellas, Da Masta awaits.
Oh finally he will allow us poor servants to bask in his Holy Pimpin' light.

 

by blackhaloinc
9-12-03
In compliance with recent email request I have made this comic just for you. I'd like you to meet Mr. Tentacle
yo
...So this is the crazy bitch i got to deal with?
Hello Mr. Tentacle
Censored
WTF!?!?! OH GOD Get it off! GET IT OFF!!!!!
hehe. your funny, Mr. Tentacle

 

by blackhaloinc
9-14-03
Cue the crappy Sailor Moon transforming music and the seizure inducing colors
BY THE POWER OF BLACK HALO INC!!! I CALL UPON THE ENERGY OF THE PIMPEST WEBSITE IN THE UK!
SUPER DUPER SEISMIC TITTIE BOUNCING
JET PROPELLED MONKEY GORILLA BITCH SLAP... ATTTTAAAAACCCCKKK!!!!!
KABOOM
There there, your safe now
sob* You wouldnt believe the horror! She *sob*and... and then she probed me with my own... OH GOD AND THE CONSTANT GIGGLING!!!!! hehehehehe GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!!

 

by blackhaloinc
9-18-03
The fuck is the problem now? Didn't you have a good time with that one chick you were out with last night?
*SOB* Yeah but... *SOB*
But what damn you? You're lucky to find a nice girl like that! She likes wrestling, technology, fps games, and fast cars. How can you go wrong with that? At least she wasn't a crazed whore like my ex!
SHE WAS A MAN OKAY?! ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?!
People never fucking learn...
Oh Jesus fucking christ. I knew it was too good to be true.
Oh well, life goes on. I guess I'll search online some more for another chick. Hopefully, female this time.

 

by blackhaloinc
9-20-03
James, Can you help this lady find some pencils?
uhhh....Sure.
Hello Ma'am, all our pencils are on aisle 18 I can show you were there at.
No, I just need one pencil.
...Then the room started spinning
Well... you have one pencil in your hand, didnt you need more?
NO! I just need one! But I dont want this one! I want a new one but just like this one!

 

by blackhaloinc
9-22-03
Fuck! Johnson, affirmitive action is up my ass again after you killed off that one chick. We need another one NOW!
Alright, but lets not do blonde this time, k?
And he opened the 7th seal and an angel blew a loud trumpet. All the animals in the chamber wept for the inhabitants of the earth, for a pale horse rode out and its rider was...
BY YOUR POWERS COMBINED...
Oh shit, you fucked up on that one... And you forgot to make them titties bigger.
Guys are nothing but chauvanist evil pigs who think of nothing but their penises! When will you men learn that life's NOT just about SEX and bitchbitchbitch
OH GOD WHAT HAVE I DONE!

 

by blackhaloinc
9-26-03
bitch bitch bitch bitch men are pigs.
Shut up.
bitch bitch bitch bitch men are scum.
SHUT UP!
bitch bitch bitch bitch Im an ugly woman seeking attention.
I dont think she's taking the hint.

 

by blackhaloinc
9-28-03
Fuck, Johnson. We got to do something about this crazy bitch? Lets just kill her.
Sorry boss man, we have to have at least one minority in our company or Affirmitive Action wll be up our ass again.
I got it lets just replace her with another minority group.
Alright, I'll get on it quick, I think another employee just committed suicide.
...And thats why all men should be castrated.
Ah...sweet sweet death.

 

by blackhaloinc
10-05-03
DUDE! Stripcreator got some new Kaddar characters!
Bullshit! I dont believe you, prove it.
Phase into the world of stripcreator
Here Here! Look! Its that blonde girl we killed off in the strip! And shes naked!
Bet you wish you hadn't gotten rid of me now huh? Hehe!
OH SHIT! It's Ekong and hes naked too!
Yah, and I was having my way with the blonde girl, now if you dont mind I'm going to finish getting my salad tossed.

 

by blackhaloinc
10-06-03
Hey Ekong, you've been in college for a few years now. What do you plan to be when you finish?
Well...
I think I'll be an astronaunt...
No wait, I want to be a monkey!
I suppose it was my fault for asking.
ooh ooh, a SPACE MONKEY!

 

by blackhaloinc
10-13-03
Has anyone ever told you "You watch too much anime?"
Nope. Never. Why do you ask?
Have you considered that maybe the Japanese are screwing with your brain, causing you to have illusions, and misbegotten feelings of grandious?
Nope. Never considered it. But I seriously can't wait to pilot a Mech.
I think you've been watching way too much anime, its affecting your life, you health, and I think your pea-brained mind. Seriously- you have a problem.
Yah right, this all coming from a fairy?

 

by blackhaloinc
10-17-03
AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
OMG! OMG! OMG! DID YOU GET IT!?
YOU BET YOUR ASS I GOT IT! W00T! W00T!
What are you bitches screaming about in here? Whats that a new game?
Dude! This isnt just some new game its Max Payne 2, the sequel to the best game ever made by man himself! You wouldnt be able to imagine how happy we are!
AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Well RPG Boy, if you wanted to imagine how happy WE are, imagine that umm... "StarCraft 2" has just been released.
"StarCraft 2"? OMFG!!

 

by blackhaloinc
10-21-03
Nov. 16, 2003
I'm telling you man, the same shit that happened to us at AnimeExpo is going to happen at Comdex.
Come on man dont worry, everything is going to be fine. Were not going to have to go all the way to Vegas then come home to pick up business cards then go all the way back...trust me.
Nov. 17, 2003 obviously not at Comdex
BITCH FUCK! FUCKING BULLSHIT FUCKING CRAP CRAP FUCK CRAP! I AM NOT FUCKING GOING BACK! I TOLD YOU THIS WAS GOING TO HAPPEN!
Alright man just calm down! All we have to do is find our business cards, jump on another plane to Vegas and we are so in!
Why is James crying? What the hell are you guys still doing here? You left didnt you?
Just shut up OK! JUST! - SHUT! - THE! - FUCK! - UP! **Sniff Sniff!**

 

by blackhaloinc
10-25-03
Having a bullet in your head is like your number one excuse right there for everything.
DUDE! WHY DID YOU KILL THAT WHOLE FAMILY OF INNOCENT MOBSTERS!?
Cause i have a bullet in my head, it makes me do weird things.
Having a bullet in your head can also help in an embarrassing situation.
Why were you fondling that big fat chick?!
Ah Baby come on, you know I have a bullet in my head.
Having a bullet in your head can also get you out of very tight spots.
My name is Sonny Provalona, you killed my father, do you at least have an excuse?!
THE BULLET MADE ME DO IT! OH DAMN THIS INFERNAL BULLET IN MY HEAD!

 

by blackhaloinc
10-26-03
When AIM goes bad.
Hey ViGiN AnGeL BaBee. Lets have some hot anal lovin'?
heh. nah, she'll probably freak out. Lets see... delete.... delete...
Oops, I clicked enter.
OH SHIT!!! um... um... WARN! WARN! WARN!
Would you like to block buddy ViGiN AnGeL BaBee? ---YES---
Whew, another crisis averted.
Oh damn SeXXySluut33 is online I wonder what shes up to.

 

by blackhaloinc
10-30-03
So have you beaten Yuri's Revenge yet?
No, I need help. Actually I know exactly what I need, I need a "Monkey Strategy".
Uh... what now? A uh... monkey? Startegy?
Yes, the science and art of using all the forces of a nation to execute approved plans as effectively as possible during peace or war. Just...with a monkey.
That's it -YOU'VE LOST IT MAN! You are on the fucking edge! You need to step back from the computer and go outside or get laid or something!
Dude, the "Monkey Strategy" is sound. You might not have known it but the USA has been using monkeys for years! Ever wonder why the hell we've been on top of everything? Its the raw monkey power!

 

by blackhaloinc
11-07-03
Steve, Stev-O, Big Steve! How are things these days Steven?
Fine I guess, Why do you ask?
Oh..No reason, just wanted to know what you've been up to these days.
Well, things are fine like I said, umm...work and school keep me busy, uh you know all those things...you know things...
DUDE YOU WERE RIGHT! Steve has turned into a total fudge packer! I even caught him checking out my ass!
Told you so! Man...college does weird shit to people. Thats like...what? Our 4th friend whose locked themselves in a closet since graduation?

 

by blackhaloinc
11-11-03
So did you go get your balls checked?
Yah, found out its a hernia, I'm going to have to go under the knife- I'm a little scared...
You stupid ass, I told you not to go to the doctor. I mean look at me I never go to the doctor and I'm fine, I know I'm fine. Going to the doctor just makes things worse.
Yah but I was in pain, I mean I was just hoping it wasnt cancer...
If you had found out it was cancer would your life have been any better? Wouldnt you be happier not knowing you had cancer? Could you still have lived a long healthy life- just with one nut?
Your right, I would have just felt like half a man...damn why did I go to the doctor, I should have just ate all those apples and dipped my nuts in the applesauce like you told me too.

 

by blackhaloinc
11-16-03
Welcome to OD how can I...OH SWEET GOD, HOW COME WE ARE AT THE SAME EYE LEVEL!?!...
Yes, yes, welcome indeed. You seem to be fitting in nicely around here...
...oh god and my breath stinks so bad, even the gum is melting in my mouth!...
Do you feel compelled to buy a fux machine? Or demand discounts without shame? Are you wanting to open all the new boxes you've just got in?
Oh Damn You! Damn You straight to Hell! I'll never join you NEVER!
A-CU-ME, but it is your company that has created me. And millions like me. We are many, we are one. Join us...JOIN US!

 

by blackhaloinc
12-05-03
HEY! Long time no see! How have you been this whole time?
How have I what now?
While I was gone... you know in Oklahoma... So I just wanted to know how things have been here with out me...
What the hell you were gone?!
Yah! Havent you noticed I havent been around here for half a month?!
Well I mean...you think I would but you never update the site. Wait a second your name isnt Leon is it? Well cause I've been writing your checks out to him and hes been cashing them.

 

by blackhaloinc
12-22-03
Quack quack quack quack quack?
Yeah, the surgery went pretty well. Still hurts like hell but I think I'll be better.
Quack quack quack quack quack?
Yeah, EVERYONE pretty much knows about my surgery.
Quack quack quack quack quack!!!!
You're fucking right! I should've told them it was a gunshot wound. Now every girl knows I have a deformity around my dick! I think I'm gonna kill myself now...

 

by blackhaloinc
1-19-04
At the weekly BHI party
Dude, you are such a violent drunk- you know that?
Ok yah, its just- I know, only when I drink, I want to break stuff!
BAM!
Holy Shit! That violent drunk guy just jumped through the fucking window!
Yah when he drinks he gets pretty violent, and jumps through...things.
What the fuck? Are you ok man, you came flying out that window like a god damned bullet, I barely dodged you.
Ok yah, its just- I know, only when I drink, I want to jump out of windows.

 

by blackhaloinc
2-24-04
KidGusto has entered the game.
Time to earn my keep
N00B!
HEAD SHOT!!
fuck that, time for some pwnage
OMFG1!~ WAT A HACKER!
MONSTER KLL!!
Nicce aimbot u wall haking n00b.
God stop whinning for 2 fucking seconds and play the god damn game.

 

by blackhaloinc
7-11-04
do doit de do doit
do doit de do doit
DANCING ROBOTS
ROBOTS DANCING
FOOTBALL!!!!
FOOTBALL!!!!

 

by blackhaloinc
5-08-05
Dear admin: I can't get the direct downloads to work because it asks for a username and password!
Dear admin: I can't download anything because it's asking for a password. Can you please send me a password?
*BEEP* You Have 1000 New Messages!
OMFG! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THESE PEOPLE?! I posted that the server was closed in BOLD RED letters! I think I'll have the robot just kill everyone!
Dear admin: What's the username and password?
Ahhhhhhhhh! I'M SORRY! I NEVER LEARNED TO READ!!!
*BEEP* Die N00bie *Beep* Die N00bie *Beep* Die N00bie

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