All comics by cocksucker

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by cocksucker
10-22-06
After a few drinks
I have done more things for people than you!
name one.
I got nailed to the cross! Have you done that?
No!
Ha I win!
But I have got screwed in bed, Does that count?

 

by cocksucker
10-22-06
Mother standing somewhere so she can't hear them.
Hey kid wanna by drugs?
No mammy says drugs are bad!
Mother goes
Come on kid give me a brake, How do you think i feel? I am not gatting paid!
PSSSSST!
What?
Meat me around the back in five minutes.

 

by cocksucker
10-22-06
My brother started shaving recently.
But for some reason, He always wears a merking in public.

 

by cocksucker
10-22-06
My girlfriend is like a squirrel.
She keeps leaving me.

 

by cocksucker
10-23-06
Look I don't want to be your friend anymore, Your to slow!
2 hours later
Screw this.
1 year later.
I'm not slow!

 

by cocksucker
10-23-06
You so ugly that your mom had to tie a porkchop around your neck so the dog would play with you !!!!
Aghhh!
You got a face that looks like my arse!
What did you say?
Sorry I wasn't talking to you, I was talking to her!
George bush?

 

by cocksucker
10-23-06
Michael Patrick McPhail, you are the first person charged under Washington State's new law making bestiality a felony. You had sex with your pit bull terrier?
That's right, your honor.
Was the dog a male or a female?
A male. Why do you ask, your honor?
No reason, just curious.
Hey, I'm not gay, if that's what you're insinuating...

 

by cocksucker
10-23-06
What is wrong my child? Tell me your sin!
I stole money from my mothers purse, Now I feel like shit.
Thats nothing, I feel like yoda wearing a thong with this suit on!

 

by cocksucker
11-24-06
Panel 1
I like chickens!
Panel 2
Wait for it...
Panel 3
But I like cocks better.

 

by cocksucker
11-25-06
I feel sick with all of the blood!
Here take this.
Takes pills
Whaaa? Hi doggy, woow, ha ha i'm in heaven!
Hi Jonny, I have got a secret to tell you, Your wife is a shemale!
Wakes up the next morning
Agh! Hi honey?
Come on baby, I dressed up as a bunny for you, prrr, I mean...what sound does a male bunny makes?

 

by cocksucker
12-01-06
Making a funny comic in three panels sounds hard.
*Cough*
Well?
Hello, how can I help you?

 

by cocksucker
12-01-06
I love christmas.
Dude you a 45 years old man, grow up!
I fucked your mother.
Ha ha ha, i'm cring with laughter, she had aids, ha ha ha!
Fuck I better go and jerk off to get the aids out.
And don't come back you fucking nasi.

 

by cocksucker
12-01-06
Who the fuck are you?
I'm rudolph, santa's reindeer.
I heard santa saying that your his bum fun bitch.
Really?
Yeah he says that he fucked your arse so hard it's disappeared.
Well santa has been telling lies, wait her so I can tell him about this little misunderstanding.

 

by cocksucker
12-01-06
This is me with my pants down.
This is me going to kill me mother.
This is me reading a book called "How to kill your mother in three eazy steps"
This is me after looking at my mother.
This is me waving goodbye to my mother
And this is someone who walked in and saw me on the floor masturbating over my mother.

 

by cocksucker
12-01-06
I don't care if anyone calls me fat anymore, I have had 16 years of it so I don't care anymore.
Are you having a baby?
Ummm, yes why?
Just wondering.
Ha ha ha sucker...it's just you and me ham sandwich...with everything on top

 

by cocksucker
12-01-06
This panels is bob the shark and fred the fish.
Dum dum...
Ha! stupid shark doesn't know I'm behind him, now is my chance to run away.
This panels is ned the shark and fred the fish.
I have got this strange feeling that someone is watching me.
Ha! Stupid fish doesn't know I'm behind him, now is my chance to eat him.
This panels is micheal Jackson the shark and Elton John the shark.
Ha! sexy shark doesn't know I'm behind him, now is my chance to have him up the arse.

 

by cocksucker
12-01-06
Whats going on over here then?
I'M SHAGGING YOUR MOTHER THATS WHAT!
Who said that?
SO YOUR CALLING ME A DWARF ARE YOU, I'M CALLING THE COPS! NO WAIT I'LL DO SOMETHINTG BETTER.
And tonight on the 6 o clock news, a man died by a house fire, no one knows what happened.

 

by cocksucker
12-02-06
Peek a boo I see you.
Dude I'm not a baby
Where have the baby gone?
OMG!
Peek a boo I see you.
Get a life jackass!

 

by cocksucker
12-02-06
Merry christmas bro.
What's so merry about it?
Well this is jesus's birthday.
OH MY GOD! It was my birthday on 14th november and nothing was merry about that.
Ok....Merry birthday?
Fuck off before I shove this metal hand up uranus!

 

by cocksucker
12-02-06
Hey baby, wanna make out?
$8.95 like everyone else buddy!

 

by cocksucker
12-04-06
They walk off into the sunlight. They are moving away from the camera.
You've gotmusician's hands, all soft and smooth, like a boy's.
I am a boy.

 

Leave me go!
Shut up kid!
by cocksucker, 12-07-06

 

by cocksucker
12-29-06
Umm, so now that we're alone do you want to play a game?
Yeah ok, what game?
Dare!
Strip dare?
Yes ok, lets start. I dear you to bend over so I can give you 5 minutes or anal sex with a pencil cause my penis is to small, then I want you to give me a blow job whilst fingerin' my arse.
Umm, I think I'll pass.

 

by cocksucker
12-29-06
This year my new years resolution is to start wearin' contact lenses, a assless chap and a merkin.
Oh yeah, and not to dress up as "DEATH" to walk around a psychiatric hospital at midnight.
Sorry I gotta, umm go shoppin'. Yeah that's right, shoppin'. With my mum.

 

by cocksucker
12-29-06
Somewhere in jail.
I can't believe I got arrested just because I stared at a muslim.
Ok maybe it was because I nuked Iraq.
Don't look at me like that, dead guy!

 

by cocksucker
12-29-06
This year my new years resolution is for me to treat people as I would like them to treat me, and I would like to try and stop world hunger.
Also, not to slam the door on my penis whilst my mother in law is having thanks giving dinner.

 

by cocksucker
12-29-06
I think I took a wrong turn at Albuquerque.
I knew I should've gone with the two wise men.
Only if that hooker had charged more, $2.99 now that's a once in a life time opportunity.

 

by cocksucker
12-29-06
What are you doing?
What, you've never seen someone give a dead man anal sex before?

 

by cocksucker
12-29-06
Aghh, a bat. Honey save me!!!
Ok honey, hold on. I'm just gonna @mail Ozzy Osborne and I'll ask him how to kill a bat.
Oh no, not, Ozzy the bat eater, well that's what all the bats call him. I'm going don't call him, I'm going.
Nevermind honey he's gone.

 

by cocksucker
12-30-06
Warning! This comic may contain some racist remarks.
Hi, here's a fun question for you.
PLEASE Don't take these remarks seriously.
If a white man and a black man were fighting
He betta no be talkin' bout me mama!
P.S. I'm sorry if I offended anyone.
Which on would get ran over by the cops first?
Hey he is talkin'g bout me mama, quick you betta do sumfin' and quick... But what?

 

by cocksucker
1-14-07
The water bill, the electricity bill, Hey, here's a letter from Osama Bin Laden
"We're going to nuke your house, you should've given us the money. Now I have to live in a cave with a t.v that hasn't got cable"
He can't afford cable...
But he can afford a nuclear bomb.

 

by cocksucker
1-14-07
(Copy and paste this link in the address bar, it's very funny
Hey, Brad.
Yes, Henry?
It's very funny)
I'v heard they're going to make a new home alone film.
Cool, I love that film. What is it called?
http://steevven1.com/images/home%20alone.jpg
It's called "Home alone remix" is starring with Micheal Jackson.
Oh yeah, I've heard of that.

 

by cocksucker
1-27-07
Neo, I have waited a long time to tell you this! I am your father!
*Gasp* Idiot! There is a difference between us! I wear casual clothes while you dress like a clown!
*Breathing Heavily* You will pay dearly for that comment!
Time to get matrixy on you!
........? I have you now, Neo!
Not likely! Why does that sound wrong to me?

 

by cocksucker
1-27-07
Merry masturbation, its my arch enemy........... ..the terminator!
Asta La Vista, BABY!
Your shotgun is no use against the powers of the............DARK SIDE!
Then I will be back! With these powers you speak of!
So Neo, you make your return!
I don't like you! Besides, all I wanted was a jumbo sized popcorn with extra butter! Oh crap, I forgot my slushee!

 

by cocksucker
1-27-07
*Crying* You don't like me? All I wanted was to be your friend! Is that so hard to understand?
I thought you were my father?
Well, I kind of lied about that!
Ohhhh........so you don't masturbate? I understand now!
FUCK YOU!!! I'm not playing anymore, good bye dickhead.
Ok see you tomorrow.

 

by cocksucker
1-27-07
Sir we blew up Earth like you requested.
You idiot! Earth is still there.
Oh no, if thats Earth what planet did me and my comrade blow up?
*Phone rings* hello.... hello Mr Felch.....huh uh.....yes....ok .....he what!.....ok thanks Mr Felch, bye.
Mr Felch?
Yes, do you know the planet that you blew up was Ronhobert 64?

 

by cocksucker
1-27-07
No! oh my hajuni we are all going to die, that planet won "The strongest kick-ass planet in the universe" 10,000 times and still running!
Yep, and it's all your fault!
Wait I got it, we can hide in my comrade's VSAP shuttle.
No! We must fight for this planet, if we run and hide the Ronhobert 64 kick-ass fighters will find us and rip our large intestines out and make it into rope, so they can skip over it with their family
Yea---
--while they eat my penis in a kabab.

 

by cocksucker
1-27-07
Look i'm to young to fight for our planet Thipsons, i'm only 847362 Thipy years young.
Damn that is to young, look you'll have to come with me to get PS 54, also bring your comrade.
Where are we?
We are at the HSPL humans call this place HELL! You are here to get PS 54 so you will look like a human!
Later
Aghhhhh! what am I?
Your a VPSTNKOL humans call you "A Wank stick/A Tramp"

 

by cocksucker
1-27-07
AGHHHHHH! A gay, yellow heard monkey in a space suit.
AGHHHHHHHHH! A Wank stick.
*Ground shakes* what is that?
It's the bombs, I can't come with you but I want you and you comrade to get to the space ship and go to Earth, Go quick.
Finally alone *Masturbates in the corner* AGH! YEAH!..... What? it's a dogs life! no wait wrong frase, It's a free country?

 

by cocksucker
1-28-07
The answer is 23846 to 35218, what is the question?
Is it how heavy my momma's arse weighs?
Is it how many toothfairys die of toothache?
Is it how many saddam look alikes got hanged just to make sure Saddam was dead?
Is it how much rent a week, Osama Bin Laden have to pay to live in the cave

 

by cocksucker
1-28-07
Come on lil' buddy come on out, time to get busy.
Ah, you've gotten bigger.
Honey time to get kinky.
GOD, that felt good.
Now to hide the muder weapon, and now this is where the drama classes finally pay off.
AGHHHHHHHHHHH, HONEY...SOMEONE PHONE 911.

 

by cocksucker
1-28-07
Harrrrr de mateey!
Have you been drinking?
Harrrr no. But I havvve been smoking the good white stuff.
Oh, so you've been smoking.
Hits pirate
Ah, what happend?
I'm arresting you for the possession of illegal drugs.

 

by cocksucker
1-31-07
Ho ho ho, merry christmas.
AND?
And a happy new year?
Get the fuck outta here, SHOOOO! go on, get lost.

 

by cocksucker
1-31-07
So you're here to kill me?
Yes, well thats the plan.
Have you ever thought of retiring?
Well look, I'll kill you NOW, then I'll leave you lying there whilst I go to my uncle Steve's gay weddin'.
Can I come?

 

by cocksucker
1-31-07
Ummm hey, now I'm...uh...made...uh..can I...uh...like go now?...uh sir..
Yes sure.
YES!!! THANK YOU, SIR.
Wait a minuted, bend over...TIME TO CREATE SOME BABIES!
Oh!

 

by cocksucker
2-01-07
Hey, got the stuff?
Yes, but I don't see that a 20ft pole and a condom is going to catch, roadrunner.
have you ever heard of anal?

 

by cocksucker
2-02-07
EAT ME!!!!
MMMMM....Chicken.
EAT ME!!!
MMMMMMM....Turkey.
*Sniff sniff* Why do you hate me?

 

by cocksucker
2-04-07
Honey I don't love you anymore.
You're breaking up with me because I fingered a pie?
No I'm breaking up with you because you are a dickhead!
Ok, I'll take the car home and you can walk, bye.
Bu--
--BYE!!

 

by cocksucker
2-15-07
I've got to call the police.
But you can't leave me all alone, there is a killer in the house.
Freddy?
Wait! nice arse... I got it! I'll Rape her then kill her.

 

by cocksucker
2-15-07
They're outside! We should keep quiet for a while.
............................
Well, are you going to talk?
AGHHHHH!
Shut up , man. They're outside.....It looks like you've seen a ghost.

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