All comics by discodawg

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by discodawg
5-25-02
Whussup daddios and-uh hot mamas. I gots me a new poem, ya'all, so just sit tight and listen to my words, ya dig?
Here goes. *ahem* I'm just a beatnik, and I like to beat Nick. Thank you.
Nick feels a little uneasy...
Hey Nick, do you think he's talking about you?
I, uh.... gotta go....

 

by discodawg
5-25-02
Joe the Poet catches up with Nick and is about to beat him up.
Hey hey, Nick man, you didn't say how much you liked my poem, man! Stay a while and we'll talk! Heheheh...
Uh... uh... LOOK OVER THERE!!
Nick makes a quick getaway.
WHERE?
Ah. It appears Nick was saved by a gay cross-dressing male bunny whoar.
Hey tiger, lookin' for a good time?
WOAH!! NASTY!!!

 

by discodawg
5-25-02
Later...
Egads, Captain Powerful! What happened?
Billy, this is the remains of a terrible, terrible comic strip.
Well what do we do now?
We must reserect the character formerly known as Joe the Poet and make him a new, better comic strip character!
Joe the Poet, you were once a victim of potty humor and a pointless plot, but fear no more. You shall be given a second chance and you will now be called... Patrick the Beatnik!
Like, zonky!

 

by discodawg
5-25-02
So, Patrick, how do you feel about your new name?
I feel like a crazy, kooky, out 'a' site bongo with a brand new beat, man.
I don't know what that means, but something tells me that my job is done here.
Like thanks, Captain daddio.
And with that, Captain Powerful flies off into the wild blue yonder.
Man I got the munchies...

 

by discodawg
5-25-02
Osama! Ooooosaaaaaamaaaa!
I'm not here! Go away!
But Mr. bin Laden it's important!
I said go away! I don't want to talk to you anymore!
Fine, if you say so...

 

by discodawg
5-25-02
Ooh, a celebrity...
Hey, I'm, like, Keanu Reeves. I was in The Matrix and Speed.
Crowd: Wooh! The Matrix!
Uh, yeah thanks. Anyway, I'd just like to give you a little preview of The Matrix 2 by reciting the line that my character says at the climax.
Crowd: Yeah! Matrix 2!
Who'da thunk?
"Woah."
Crowd: "Woah'" kicks ass!!

 

by discodawg
5-25-02
All is well in Tokyo, Japan...
As the leader of Japan, I now declare today a national holliday!
People of Japan: Yay!
... until disaster strikes!
G'day, mate!
Egads! The Australian Army!!
The leader of Japan surrenders.
First Japan, then the WORLD!!!

 

by discodawg
5-25-02
I am the leader of Australia, and I would like to apologize for the rebellious actions the Australian Army may have committed against Japan.
Oh gee, a lot of help that's going to do...
I frown apon the Invasion of Tokyo, and so does my pet emu.
Squawk!
But most importantly I would like to state that I had no involvement in the planning and carrying out of this mission to take over Japan. Thank you for your time.
Squawkity squawk squawk.

 

by discodawg
5-25-02
Hey Mr. Bear! Wanna smoke some cigarettes?
No thanks, Mr. Horse! I don't want to turn my lunges black!
Aw, you're no fun! I don't wanna be your friend anymore!
Oh yeah? Well **** you, you ***hole!
Don't smoke me!

 

by discodawg
5-25-02
After conquering all of Asia, and destroying all of those who got in their way, the Australian Army launched a surprise attack on England from the Atlantic Ocean...
I'm the Leader of England, a.k.a. the United Kingdom, a.k.a. Great Britain!
I'm the Leader of Scotland, a.k.a... uh..... damn!
Holy tea and crumpets! It's the Australian Army!
Resistance is futile, mates! Surrender now or we'll throw ya' bum on the barby!
Never! Union Jack all the way!

 

by discodawg
5-25-02
Meanwhile, at the White House...
Mr. President, this is a very bad crisis, but don't you think we should talk about it INSIDE the White House?
Ssh...
Well??
Wait for it! These things take time!

 

by discodawg
5-25-02
As the President of the United States pondered, the Australian Forces swept over Africa.
Ok ok... what if you really DID shoot me? Then what?
Now this is the last time! Put your hands on your head!
I'm not surrendering until you tell me what you want with Africa.
What do you care? I'm pointing a gun at you! Just give up and be done with it so we can move on!
Oh fine... you can have your stupid Africa.
See now? Was that so hard?

 

by discodawg
5-25-02
The United States finally sent troops over to the Eastarn Hemisphere to stop the dreaded Kangaroo Rebels...
Heeeere comes the infantry!
USA! USA! USA!...
They made a convincing argument...
Give up! We are the immortal United States of America! We have a Bill of Rights and TV dinners! WE 0WNZ J00!!1
Holy outdated weaponry!
Jokes on you, biotch! We have machine guns! All you have is Civil War bayonettes!
Is this the end of USA, USA, USA...?

 

by discodawg
5-25-02
Australia took over the whole world.
We're, like, doomed man.
Yeah, man. Doomed to a life of conformity.
There was nobody to save the world. Nobody except for...
Captain Powerful! *woosh!*
Look up in the sky! It's Captain Powerful!
To make a long story short, Captain Powerful beat the Australian Army and liberated the world.
Yippeeeeee!!
Man I still got the munchies...

 

by discodawg
5-25-02
Hello. What is your name?
My name is Patrick the Beatnik. I live in Coolsville.
And why are you cool, Patrick?
I'm cool 'cause I spell "beatnic" with a "k", not a "c", ya dig?
Yes, Patrick. We dig.
Man, I got the munchies...

 

by discodawg
5-26-02
Behold!
It has come to my attention that I spell my name correctly. There is no "c" in beatnik.
But that don't change the fact that I am the craziest, coolest, hip-hoppin'-est daddio in the world. Thusly, I'm still cool.
Ya dig?

 

by discodawg
5-26-02
Paul and Jim are at the library looking at books.
"Deja Vu: The Continuing Enigma." That sounds cool.
Ooh, "Paper Maché and You!"
"Deja Vu: The Continuing Enigma." That sounds cool.
"Have a Nice Day!" by Mick Foley! I love that book!
Wait a minute!
"Deja Vu: The Continuing Enigma." That sounds cool.
What the...?

 

by discodawg
5-26-02
Hey! I just got back from the psychiatrist! He says I'm just about cured of obsesive compulsive disorder!
Awesome!
Hey! I just got back from the psychiatrist! He says I'm just about cured of obsesive compulsive disorder!
That's cool...
I don't think he's really cured...
Hey! I just got back from the psychiatrist! He says I'm just about cured of obsesive compulsive disorder!
Poor guy...

 

by discodawg
5-26-02
So the doctor says, "If you aren't Bill Gates, then who the hell are you?" Heh heh heh heh...
I'm going to take my clothes off now.
And there you have it.
That's how you make a comic strip, ladies and gentlemen!
What a terrible pun!

 

by discodawg
5-26-02
Hey homie.
Hey buddy.
Wussup dawg?
Jus' chillin', homie.
Note the size differences in these two friends' heads.
Homie.
Dude.

 

by discodawg
5-26-02
Normal? This shouldn't be.
Well, time to watch some MST3K.
Confused? You should be.
[insert smart-ass comments here]
Annoying? This should be.
Wow! What a great episode!

 

by discodawg
5-26-02
Huh?
I didn't say anything.
Oh.
Yeah. That's what I thought.

 

by discodawg
5-26-02
Hey homie.
Hey buddy.
Wussup dawg?
Jus' chillin' homie.
Aha! A surpise ending!
Dude... you're gettin' a Dell!
That's not the line.

 

by discodawg
5-26-02
In case you didn't figure it out already, Ozzy's the one on the right.
Bloody 'ell piss off wankers!
*mumble mumble mumble*
Later, at an Ozzy concert...
LET'S WAKE THE DEEEEAD!! OH YEAH!!!
What you DON'T see on TV...
I'm gonna bite yer 'ead off, little one.
Don't do it, Ozzy!

 

by discodawg
5-26-02
My name is Courtney Love.
Psh... yeah right.
Uh.... Dennis Rodman?
Give me a break... he's black!
... Phil Collins?
Now that I could believe...

 

by discodawg
5-26-02
Hey man, can I have some of that orange juice?
No way, man. This is Minute-Maid. MINUTE-MAID! It's quality juice, I can't just give it away, man.
I'll trade you this bottle of breast milk substitute.
Fair enough.

 

by discodawg
5-27-02
There he goes with his mad rap skillz again...
My name is Nelly, look at my belly, I like Jelly...
Such complex rhymes...
I ride in my car, it gets me very far, 'cause I'm a superstar...
Such talent...
Once I saw a cat, it was wearin' a hat, and it ate a rat...

 

by discodawg
5-27-02
poop
fart
boob
butt
wee wee
hehe you said wee wee

 

by discodawg
5-28-02
Oh my goodness! That man just said the 'f' word!!
*gasp* He really said Finland?!
Wha-- uh, no, no. I mean the curse word.
Yeah I know. He said Finland?
No, the four letter one.
Fish?

 

by discodawg
5-28-02
The one that ends in a 'k'.
Fork?
No, it has a 'u' in it.
Funk...?
Gah! You're a fucking moron!!
.....

 

by discodawg
5-28-02
Oh yeah? Well you're a Finland.
Take it back!
No.
*cries*
See? I told you it was a curse word.

 

by discodawg
5-28-02
Puff
The Magic Dragon
Hee hee hee hee
The end.

 

by discodawg
6-03-02
He lived asa devil, eh?
Racecar!
!racecaR
?he, lived asa devil eH

 

by discodawg
6-03-02
Ugh... fine... "moh".
I thought it was "meh".
Yeah! That's what I said, but they didn't believe me!
Them and their inside jokes.
How did we get to be on the outside, anyway?
Excuse me? 'We'?

 

by discodawg
6-04-02
At approximately 8:32 PM on this not-so-bright and somewhat rainy and thundery night, Brad disappeared. Please send all rescue promises to "Brad, c/o His Kidnappers, P.O. Box #5."
I'm going to find and rescue Brad faster than I can spell "cuatro"!
You there! Officer Steriotypical-Irish-cop! What evidence have you found?
We found a turnip, some used lipstick, and some wee little googly eyes.
Those must be related in some way! Thanks. And another thing- why are we levitating??
I doon't knoo, lad. You should ask Brad when you faind him.

 

by discodawg
6-04-02
And so, Mr_Jass set off on an epic quest to find and save our beloved Brad from his hideous captor(s) and almost certain death.
Oh look, I'm not floating anymore!
You there! What do you know about our beloved Brad and his hideous captor(s) and almost certain death?
1 |)0|\|'7 |
And even though Mr_Jass was very fluent in 1337, the robot still did not help him. He continued his epic quest.
I wonder what he meant by "one-line-parenthesis-zero-line-backslash-line-appostrophy-seven-line-..."

 

by discodawg
6-04-02
And so, Mr_Jass set off on an epic quest to find and save our beloved Brad from his hideous captor(s) and almost certain death.
Hey look! I'm not levetating anymore!
You there! What do you know about our beloved Brad and his hideous captor(s) and almost certain death?
1 |)0|\|'7 |
And even though Mr_Jass was very fluent in 1337, the robot still did not help him. He continued his epic quest.
I wonder what he meant by "one-line-parenthesis-zero-line-backslash-line-appostrophy-seven-line-..."

 

by discodawg
6-04-02
And so, Mr_Jass set off on an epic quest to find and save our beloved Brad from his hideous captors and almost certain death.
Hey look! I'm not levetating anymore!
You there! What do you know about our beloved Brad and his hideous captor(s) and almost certain death?
He was kidnapped.
Aha! Another clue!

 

by discodawg
6-04-02
Suddenly, it dawned on him.
Ah, the sun is rising.
He put the clues together.
Wait a minute... a radish, some lipstick, some googly eyes... I know who it is!
Hmm hmm hmm... I love my Mr. Radish Head doll.
Help me I've been kidnapped!

 

by discodawg
6-04-02
I've found you and I won't let you get away with it!
I already HAVE gotten away with it! Bwa hahahahaha!
Then, suddenly, a giant Christmas tree fell on Brad's captor.
My hero! *bats eyelashes*
Er... uh...

 

by discodawg
6-12-02
How are you today?
Meh. How are you?
Can't complain.
Wow. I am all of the sudden so much happier than I was in the last panel.
Amen to that, brother.

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