All comics by felion

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by felion
1-15-01
One fine summer day in California...
Crackle! Pop!
So this is what hell is like...
Elsewhere....
Oh my gawd! I won the Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes!!
Too bad they dont let stick figures have green cards, eh?
Later.....
Stupid..stupid.. stupid!!
To the Moon Alice, to the Moon!

 

by felion
1-15-01
Hello there, Boys and Girls... My Name is Bob...
(applause) Hi Bob!
Im here to tell you about the dangers of... slow modems! Do you not what happens to poor little kids you use dial up connections?
No! Tells Us Bob!
You turn into our friend Bones here, as you wait.. and wait.. So do whatever you have to do kids. Beg, whine, bribe or blackmail your parents! And get a cable modem today!
I Gotta get a new day job!

 

by felion
1-15-01
From: The FoX Woman,by Kij Johnson
Words, words, words. Thre were no words just then, just sensation: smell, sight, experience, day and night, as flat and complex as a brocade held to close to the eyes for focus, or a rainstorm full in
the face. All details, no pattern. I have words now, maybe too many. I try to describe the fabric to you, but words will not make you wet or shelter you from the rain.
Hmmm.. very intense.. But whats funny about it?
Funny? I thought this was the book of the month strip!
This is a COMIC strip.. Come closer so I can get it THRU your head...

 

by felion
1-16-01
Hmmmmm...
What is it?
Do you ever get that feeling? You know... Deja fu?
Deja fu? Dont you mean, Deja vu?
No,, Deja fu...The feeling that somehow, somewhere, you've been kicked in the head like this before.
Ohhh THAT!... Yup..

 

by felion
1-16-01
Hmmmmmmm...
Hey look.... If I send this chain letter out to 15 of my friends, Ill have the love of my life in 15 days!
You've got to be kidding..
What! it could work..!
You Know.. If Ignorance is Bliss.. You must be Orgasmic.
Yanno, there's nicer ways of trashing me than this..

 

by felion
1-16-01
Do you believ in make-believe, honey?
What do you mean, like fantasy?
Yeah, yeah.. Fantasy.. heh
I believe in dragons, good men and other fantasy creatures, yes....
er....

 

by felion
1-18-01
The Evil Overlord Plots..
So, how are your plans going for taking over the world?
Well, I have made a few ecexutive decisions..
Such as?
The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be kept in my safe-deposit box.
How Evil.
Well... Thats a good idea..
I've also decided, that to keep my subjects permanently locked in a mindless trance, I will provide each of them with free unlimited internet access.

 

by felion
1-18-01
Presenting: Cat Haikus
The rule for today: /Touch my tail, I shred your hand. /New rule tomorrow.
Cats meow out of angst/"Thumbs! If only we had thumbs!/We could break so much!"
The End.
We're almost equals/I purr to show I love you/Want to smell my butt? ----- Thank you..----

 

by felion
1-18-01
Guess what I did last night?
Uhm....what?
I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards.
Oh? Did you win?
I got a full house and four people died.
Doh!

 

by felion
1-20-01
My brain.. at 4 am
Home... Home on the Range...
Where the deer and the antelope play...
Hmmm... Isnt that cross-species breeding?

 

by felion
1-20-01
Today on the LowPass Levi Show.. Animals and their Psychosis.
*ahem* yes, well. I have a confession I want to make... I've got a secret obsession with cans.. No, not aluminum ones, real cans, arses, tushies.. Ya catch my drift.. ?
I see, and how has this affected your realtionship with your wife?
There was a punchline in there somewhere...
Well, it means I've been biting asses all over town... But its part of who I am, she needs to know that I still just love her..
*Sqwak* As if! I'm not taking any more of your crap! I don't know what your problem is, but I bet it's hard to pronounce!

 

by felion
1-20-01
The Plotting Continues
So how goes it?
Im designing my Secret Lair(tm)
Oh? What kind of features does it have?
More like what it doesnt have.. Look: No self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large red button labeled "Danger: Do Not Push."
This guy is good.
Hhmm "The big red button marked "Do Not Push" will instead trigger a spray of bullets on anyone stupid enough to disregard it. " Ingenious!
I've also made sure my main computers will have their own special operating system that will be completely incompatible with standard IBM and Macintosh powerbooks.

 

by felion
1-20-01
Designing the Legion Of Terror: Part 1
Take this down Igor..keep a special cache of low-tech weapons and train my troops in their use.
That way - even if the heroes manage to neutralize your power generator and/or render the standard-issue energy weapons useless, your troops will not be overrun by savages armed with spears & rocks?
Precisely. Also:Hire a talented designer to create original uniforms for my troops, instead of some cheap knock-offs that make them look like Nazi stormtroopers, Roman footsoldiers, or savage mongols
Uh.. and we're doing that why?
All were eventually defeated & I want my troops to have a more positive mind-set.
Ah. Of course..

 

by felion
1-20-01
Designing the Legion Of Terror: Part 2
My troops will be trained in basic marksmanship. Any who cannot learn to hit a man-sized target at 10 meters will be used for target practice.
Got it.
I won't require high-ranking female members of my organization to wear a stainless-steel bustier.
ahh...?
Well. He has *my* vote.
Morale is better with a more casual dress-code. Similarly, outfits made entirely of black leather will be reserved for formal occasions.
Damn! There goes the Bachelor party..

 

by felion
1-20-01
Just for DexX..
--Ahem...-- "You're always typing./Well, let's see you ignore my/Sitting on your hands."
"Terrible battle./I fought for hours. Come and see!/What's a 'term paper'?"
"You must scratch me there!/Yes, above my tail! Behold,/Elevator butt." --Thank you again...

 

by felion
2-03-01
Live, from Washington...
Ahem...
Doh! I missed my cue again didn't I?

 

by felion
2-03-01
Pointless..Its all so pointless!!
What! What is it?
I cant go on! The meaningless of it all!!
What are you talking about!?!
This comic..
Oh... well, you do have a point there...Luckily we arent the only ones around here..

 

by felion
8-23-03
Pirates of the Caribean: Curse of the Dumb Pirate...
Arrrgh! Avast ye mateys!
Bad Career Choices: Pirates..
Yo-ho-ho.... Hmm, where's my ship?
...who can't swim.
Me Mum Warned me about this..

 

by felion
8-23-03
A Duet Sung to the tune of "Fere Jacque"
Where's my GM? Where's my GM? Where's my skills? Let me kill!
I wanna ride a dragon, Let me be a paladin! Let's rob Kings! My sword swings!
Hey there GM! Ya, you GM! Where's you go!?Why so slow?
It's been 2 whole hours! And I need more powers! Hurry up, POST! I need ya most!
(c) Tygress of Tazlure.nl
Hello there, GM. What's wrong GM? You look grim...Can I swim?
Wait a minute, here now! What the heck, a flying cow!? Where's your head! SHIT! I'm dead!!

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