All comics by nitecrawl3r

Profile

 

by nitecrawl3r
2-17-04
Have I ever mentioned how much you mean to me?
Nah...I don't matter to anyone.
You do to me. I'm purple and weird, but you still accept me. And you're nice too.
Yeh, you are kinda weird. But you're wrong about the nice part.
I wouldn't be out here in the middle of nowhere waiting for you to come along if I didn't think you were nice. We purple confloozles are busy creatures, but I set all that aside for a moment with you.
Okay, well one of us is definitely nice.

 

by nitecrawl3r
2-18-04
Robbery in progress...
Give me your wallet punk!
You can't be serious, I don't even have a wallet.
Doh...
Then where do you carry your money?!
In my underpants.
Sooo, you don't want my money then?

 

by nitecrawl3r
2-18-04
Gotta love his determination...
Give me your wallet, punk.
You again? Judging by your early exit last time, it was my impression you didn't want my money.
What's does he mean by "intimate"?
Yes well I've changed my mind. I do wan't your money and I don't care where you keep it.
Is that so? Well I'm not wearing underpants today, so I've had to store my money in some place a little more intimate.
Asshole!
Exactly. See ya.

 

by nitecrawl3r
2-20-04
Greetings kind sir, would you like to donate to a very deserving charity?
Oy. I'll play along, what's the charity?
It's a relief fund for those struggling after giving up their career as thieves.
...?
*sigh*
Take a hike.

 

by nitecrawl3r
2-21-04
Strike one...
Don't move Fido or I'll vaporize you.
Who are you kidding? That thing looks like a portable sewing machine.
Strike two...
Freeze earthling.
Dude that might've worked in a bad movie from the 50's but this is the 21st century and I'm not buying it.
You're outta there...
Stick 'em up partner!
Who are you supposed to be? John Wayne?

 

by nitecrawl3r
2-21-04
Man, is it boring up here or what?
Totally. What's cool though is because of the lesser gravity I'm actually 70 pounds lighter than my wife up here.
Yeh imagine that.
Shut up dude, she's still my wife.
Your tax dollars hard at work...
...
I should phone home and tell HER to go on a diet.

 

by nitecrawl3r
2-21-04
Mom cancelled my internet access today.
Yeh? Why's that?
She said a boy my age shouldn't be looking at porn.
Really? Well what about a boy my age?
Why?
Because I just signed up for her web site last night.

 

by nitecrawl3r
2-23-04
Welcome to Burger Bonanza, may I take your order miss?
Uh huh!
Hmm. Sooo, is it anything in particular, like perhaps something on our menu?
Uh huh!
Something tells me you should be the one standing behind this counter, not me.
Uh huh!

 

by nitecrawl3r
3-24-04
I don't know if I can go through with this. The flowers aren't even in color.
Umm..uh..excuse me..I just...well...wanted to give you these..um...flowers.
Well aren't you sweet!
Ouch...
Doh.
Who are you again?

 

by nitecrawl3r
3-24-04
...!
hey dude...could you spare a nut or two?
No sorry...I have no nuts.
Punk.
Heeehehehe...I've heard it a million times and it still makes me laugh.

 

by nitecrawl3r
3-24-04
Good evening, I'm Harry Bedwedder and this is the late edition of Channel 3 News. There's a terrible fire on 5th and main, so let's go right now to the scene, live with Peter Azsmoker. Peter?
Well Harry, there appears to be a very large fire on 5th and Main.
And there you have it. Thank you Peter for that gripping, horrific account of what's happening right now live on 5th and Main.

 

by nitecrawl3r
8-22-04
Hi Santa!
Well hello little girl. What would you like for Christmas this year?
Well...I would like the entire Barbie collection..dating back to the beginning of Barbie, a ticket to Disneyland, a new boyfriend...preferably Brad Pitt, a puppy and....world peace.
Well that's quite a list young lady. Have you been a good girl this year?
Not really. If I give you $100 and the keys to my daddy's BMW, would you be willing to let it slide and give me my presents?
Hmm. What color is the car?

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