All comics by nragemachine

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by nragemachine
2-01-03
White girl and white boy meet in da hood...
Yo, I be gettin' it crunk up in here!
Why do you talk like that white girl?
I'm funna kick yo ass little white boy!
You are so white! You know I'm quite shlongly.
Shut yo mowf little boy! And whatcha mean shlongly?!
I mean open your mouth so I can choke you!

 

by nragemachine
2-01-03
White boy and white girl meet, again...
Yo, my System of a Down CD kicks ass!
Ha, I've gots my Eminem shit! Loser!
White girl instantly dissolved...
Huh?
Ahhh!
She has sold her soul to the music industry... Welcome to hell!
Where am I?
You the one with the Eminem crap?

 

by nragemachine
2-01-03
One fine day at the airport...
Hold it! Do you have any luggage?
No! *Tick*
Have a nice day! *Tick* *Tick*
What a nice fella.
Hold it! This one looks suspicious! On the ground now terrorist!
Huh? But I'm innocent, dude!

 

by nragemachine
2-01-03
Dude, where's the bathroom?
Go to the celestial gate turn left at the first intersection go to the universal porthole warp past earth and straight on through til you reach the gift shop. Then take a left.
Almost there! Was it left or right?
Would you like to make a reservation?
Aw, nuts!

 

by nragemachine
2-01-03
One day at the Crack Shack...
Hey, super pimp! Who'd you bet on for the game. I picked Tampa Bay!
Tampa Bay? You a fool! I heard from a reliable source that the Raiders would win, sucka!
How much did you bet?
Let's just say I sold my soul. Huh?
Well, the Raiders lost...
Aw, snap! You told me they would win!
What? I needed someone to play checkers with.

 

by nragemachine
2-01-03
One fair day during a piss break...
Well, this must be the men's room.
I thought this was the men's room.
What are you implying, sugar?
Transvestites bite!
Crap! This is wierd.
For $200 I can be a man, honey! I'll even give you a discount.

 

by nragemachine
2-01-03
Ine day in the forest...
Sorry, but your a REJECT. A REJECT! Get it?
But I wanna go in your spaceship! I'm G. W. Bush, dang it!
Bye, George!!! Heh, heh.
Dang it. Ahhh...
Crap. Not again! White boy will need alot of toilet paper after this...
Hey, dude! You got any toilet paper?
Hmmm. Good specimen. Zorkmeister prepare the probe!

 

by nragemachine
2-01-03
Bzzzzzzzz...
God how annoying! Stop it! I'm gonna whack you!
Buzz... I can't help it!
Ha! Take that you silly bastard!
God! Thanks that was annoying!
Crap now I'm beside myself. I should of taken those pills!

 

by nragemachine
2-08-03
George W. Bush meets in a remote location to discuss buisiness with aliens...
Sorry G.W.! But we know you're planning to take over our oil fields if we let you on our ship to the homeworld!
How could you know!? That probe only went up my ass!
Let's just say when your ass gets numb, It gets hard to think!
I don't get it? God, my ass is so numb from sitting I can't think straight!
Don't worry Bush will be back..... because satan can't stand him!
Next thing you know he'll try to take oil from someone's face!
Die, Bush! Ha Ha!

 

by nragemachine
2-08-03
When you need a fix, Just grab my butt...
Hey kids, want to launch your rocket into the moon?
When you wanna scoot through the back door remember what Captain Crabs says!
When I use this product it's like being Santa Clause delivering packages to kids who just sat on my lap...
Now, back to The Teletubbies!
God, even the commercials are gay! I'd hate to see what's on FOX!

 

by nragemachine
2-14-03
During a flight, after a super sized bean salad...
RRRRRRRIIIIIIIPPPPPPP!!!
Gyahhhh! It burns...
Well... they crashed...
What? It wasn't me already!
We have landed...

 

by nragemachine
8-21-03
Once during a war of crap, I mean rap...
I knew a punk who thought he crunk. He stanks cuz I can smell his funk...
What's that smell?
Go to hell. These words I spell, but what the f**k is that g*dd*mned smell?
F**k open a window!!!
God kill me now!
And now Eminem!!!

 

by nragemachine
8-21-03
Gah, whats that smell?
It... depends.
Depends!?
Yes, please!
What?
Gah, I sh*t my diaper!

 

by nragemachine
8-21-03
One fine day and the bottom of a bucket of chicken...
Ah, yes! I finally got that piece of chicken out of my teeth! What's that salty taste? Chicken ain't that sticky.
What's that smell?
Uh,oh.
What?
Never eat chicken while masturbating.
I'm leaving. Now I gotta wash my shoes...

 

by nragemachine
8-22-03
In Cosgrove's head...
The negotiations have been terminated!
But the terms were cool wit you yesterday.
Hey isn't this Osama Bin Laden's house?
Thats it! You talk too much...
In reality...
Dammit! I've been shot!!!
Dude, When I said get away from it all I don't mean go on a psycho trip!

 

by nragemachine
8-31-03
Oil can! Oil can!
You must be stiff.
Yeah.....you could say that!
Here I don't know what this is but, maybe if you apply this Xylol maybe whatever is stiff will move.
My penis is melting! My penis is melting!
Haha! Oops. Xylol removes paint off of objects. Ouch!

 

by nragemachine
8-31-03
Hey, Dan is that you!
I'm Waterman!
Are you gay or something?
I'm not ga ... gahh get away from me evil!
Dan, when are you gonna come out of the closet?
Rats, Courtney found out my secret lair.

 

by nragemachine
1-24-04
A smell fills the room. Not surprisingly The Clown With Brown Underwear is present...
Oh boy, I need a pooper scooper!
Did you crap on the floor again!
No.
Then why do you need a pooper scooper?
Barf!
It's for Poochy! I crapped on my dog!!!

 

by nragemachine
1-24-04
Dan gays into action...
Hello little lady. Waterman is here! Want me to rescue you from lonliness?
Get bent, Dan!
But, That's...not my...secret identity!
Gah, here's Dan the incestor, again.
Hey, It's me Waterman! My name isn't Dan but your's should be Mr. Hot if you um, catch my drift! Growl.
Get bent, Dan! And that is your secret identity you faggot.

 

by nragemachine
1-24-04
One day, turned gay by Dan...
Hey, Dan!
But, I'm Waterman!!!
I heard a rumor that your going on steroids.
Yeah, I was thinking about it but, I heard it shrinks your man area!
So, if you took steroids you've got nothing to worry about!

 

by nragemachine
1-24-04
During White Boy's short vacation (getting away from Cosgrove)...
Hey, angel! What are you doing?
I'm just here for the apocalypse, and all that.
Cool, so anyway can I be blessed, so that everyone should enjoy my company better?
Uh, geez that's a tough one. Lemme try.
There we go!

 

by nragemachine
1-24-04
Dan the little girl (and boy) molester meets up with a very unhappy Cosgrove
Nobody loves me.
I love you!
And within 2 seconds the faggot gets diced...
Die, Dan!
But, I'm Waterm...
...nice!
Go ahead arrest me, I don't care.
You kidding? Now my 13 year old girl can leave the house!

 

by nragemachine
2-06-04
One day during a party...
Who are you?
Shut your face, asshole!
...I didn't invite this guy!!!
I got a joke for you! Knock, knock!
Who's there!
OUCH!

 

by nragemachine
2-06-04
During a visit at Dan's sick domain...
Hi... Welcome to the...Waterman Home...page! You have to be 13 or under!
Date waterman! He is...hot!
Dan desperately searches for a friend...
Ah, finally a super website! Why doesn't any one visit it? I'll just check my e-mail. Ahhh. Here's one about my website! A possible fan!
Welcome Dan! You have 10 hate messages...
Ah, the miracles of modern technology.
Ahhh!
Die Dan! Die!

 

by nragemachine
2-06-04
Dan watches a video...
What an odd video. I'm horny!
................Seven days?
The phone rings! A friend at last?
*Ring*! *Ring*! This is the cell of Waterman. Please leave a message, and if your under 13 leave your name and a number*Click**Beep*, " SEVEN DAYS..."

 

by nragemachine
2-13-04
One day in George Bush's evil lab...
Come on, drill fer Dubya!
You watching Nasa drill for rocks?
Rocks!? Rocks!? Drill fer what now?
I told them to drill fer oil! Dang it! Dang it to heck!
Look, more rocks!!! Good job team.

 

by nragemachine
11-26-07
Hey, man. Wanna smoke?
You know those things will be the death of you!
Meteor Crashes.
Smoke 'em if you got 'em.
Aw, crap!

 

by nragemachine
11-26-07
One day at the office before time...
Hey, remember when I had that small part in Jurassic Park?
How could I forget, man! We were so stoked to see you on screen!
I had a dream about it last night and woke-up laughing!
Yeah, that was so funny how you got that girl to feel up your poop!
What was really funny is that all I had was a hangover!
Nice.

 

by nragemachine
11-26-07
One day in an office before time...
Where's Brian, isn't this his cubicle?
Um, I dunno?
You don't have anything to do with him being missing do you!?
Hey, don't judge me because I'm a T-rex! That's discrimination! I am so offended!
So you didn't eat him?
Um, oh I just remembered something. Gotta go!

 

by nragemachine
11-26-07
One day in a house before time...
Hey thanks for inviting me over. I brought a veggie platter.
That's nice, but I already ate.
So, did you get a chance to meet my new girlfriend?
Oh, yeah! She was a juicy piece of ass!
Yeah, I know! Wait, she.....was?
Like I said, I already ate.

 

by nragemachine
11-28-07
So, we went back to my place...
Oh, let's get nasty!
There's the bedroom!
So, then what happened?
Uh, well we started exploring each others bodies with our tongues.
I thought you said it was a bad date?
She had a penis!!!

 

by nragemachine
11-28-07
One day, in a trailer-park...
That's it I don't like the way you treat me! Put 'em up, I'm gonna take you down, bitch!
Don't piss me off! I'm on my period!
I'm gonna mess you up, ho!
You asked for it, asshole!
Ahhhh! Shit! What the hell?
Like I said, I'm on my period! Yippee ki spray mothafukka!

 

by nragemachine
12-05-07
We interrupt whatever the hell you were doing to bring you this special announcement...
Over the years comic characters like us have repeatedly taken abuse for your entertainment.
You may laugh at our misfortune, but my wife doesn't think it's funny when I come home bloody and bruised.
Last year alone my character has been abused 1,500,000 times. It isn't funny now, is it?
So stop and think the next time you make a comic frame and stop comic abuse. You can make a difference.
Ow! Stop it you bastards, Seriously!
I wish I was dead.

 

by nragemachine
12-09-07
Lets make love right here, baby!
Uh, sure, but what's that over there?
Oh, the goat? Never mind him. I call him Captain Humpenstein!
Baby?

 

by nragemachine
12-09-07
Let's do it! Right Here!
Is that your dog over there?
Oh, don't mind Mr Butternuts! He just likes to watch.
Red Rocket!
Gotta Go!

 

by nragemachine
12-17-07
Hey, gramma. Remember that story about the dog from that nursing home that could sense when people were going to die?
Vaguely.
Well, anyway this is the very same nursing home! I hope you like it here.
Wait, so if the dog follows you around and won't leave you alone that means your going to die?
Aw, shit!
Barf!

 

by nragemachine
12-19-07
I've been abducted by aliens 3 times!
You're full of shit!

 

by nragemachine
12-19-07
Boy dad, that beef soup was sooo thick and meaty!
Yeah, It was like I pureed a cow's ass!
UGH! That doesn't sound like a good thing.
You see son, cow meat is like a fine woman...
?
...The ass is the best part!

 

by nragemachine
12-19-07
Hey you, sexy! Wanna do something dirty!
Like What?
Give me a rimjob!

 

by nragemachine
12-19-07
Thank You for calling Dial-A-Hitman. What can we help you with today?
I have a job that needs done on the 25th.
Okay sir. What would you like us to do for you?
Well, I just wanted to give my mother-in-law something special this year.

 

by nragemachine
1-10-08
This is just great! My spaceship has crash-landed on this forsaken planet and I do not have the tools to repair it!
Well, better make the most of it.
Hey, wanna see my anal probe?

 

by nragemachine
1-10-08
Now remember, We were eating at Burger King when a mexican hit your car in the parking lot. Don't tell her you lost control of the car and ate shit!
Burger King, mexican, eat shit....got it.
Hey, hun. Where have you been?
We ate shit at a mexican Burger King.

 

by nragemachine
2-28-08
...So, he says, "Those aren't my eggs!". Ha! Can you believe it?!
Yeah, that's pretty funny.
You know what else is a real Knee-slapper?
What?
My Penis.

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