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by ClashTheStampede
Most unassuming men begin with the following proposition:
We have the exact same interests and hobbies! I think it would be cool if we went on a date sometime.
You've got to be kiding me!
Desperate men then pursue another line of inquiry:
Well, then... What if I paid you to go out with me?
WHAT!? I'm not a *****! Keep your money you *******!
And every happily married man has discovered the only option that works:
How 'bout instead of paying you directly, I just buy you shoes and jewelry?
Take me NOW!
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