All comics by DAL

Profile

 

by DAL
1-24-03
You knw, if we don't stop Saddam now, he'll be more of a threat to Western Civilization.
You filthy war-mongering Americans! Zee Iraqi President wants only peace!
He's shown numerous times that he will kill anyone who gets in his way, even his own people!
More filthy American lies!
Opps, there goes the Eiffel Tower!
See what you filthy Americans let happen!

 

by DAL
1-29-03
On behalf of President Hussein, I welcome the human shields to Bagdhad!
Thanks, dude. We're happy to support the peaceful government of Iraq and your baby formula factories!
What a fool! If I could ever get past Republican Guard and to the West, I'd never leave! It must be Paradise compared to this facist nightmare!
Wait. What's that sound? You mean the US is actually bombing Iraq? I didn't sign up for this!
Um... I see a few new human shield openings right over there.
We did get ROUND TRIP tickets --- right???

 

by DAL
1-30-03
For some reason, network television thinks a "real-life" version of the Beverly Hillbillies would be funny.
Where's the cee-ment pond?
We got us a cee-ment pond?
People in Appalachia are still trying to overcome ignorant stereotyping. The obvious question is, what's next?
Look, it's right next to where Granny is cooking up the possum pot pie!
I shudder when I consider the possibilities.
Look who's come to visit -- it's Andy from the new "Real-Life Amos and Andy Show."
Howdy, Miss Ellie Mae. Howse y'all doing on this fine morning?

 

by DAL
2-01-03
Feb. 1, 2003
...NASA is reporting it has lost touch with the Space Shuttle Columbia.
Just before 9 a.m. Eastern time
...Sources now report that Columbia has broken up in the skies of Texas...
May God hold them in the palm of His hand.

 

by DAL
2-01-03
Bill Gates, having tired of screwing around the critics and the Justice Department, unleases his latest upgrade -- Killer Robots! (version 4.3)
Delete Linux from you computer and install Windows XP or die, puny meat thing!
Uh, sure, okie-dokie!
The Microsoft Killer Robots are the most advanced customer conversion system known to man!
Destroy you Apple and begin using a Windows PC or die, you squishy bag bones!
Forget it! Just bring on, Rusty!
Please download the lastest patch at www.microsoft.com
Beep! This program has created a fatal error and will be shut down...
This is the first time I've actually been saved by the blue screen of death!

 

by DAL
2-05-03
Susan Sarandon has taken her goofy pro-Saddam rant on the road...
...and that's why I ask, "What has Iraq ever done to us?"
Any questions from the audience?
If, when you say "us," you mean humanity, than Saddam has gassed his own people, tortured dissidents, invaded neighboring countries and has stockpiled weapons of mass destruction.
The term "us" refers to the millionaire leftist Hollywood community.
Ooops! Sorry -- never mind.

 

by DAL
2-05-03
Colin Powell presents his evidence to the U.N...
...As you can see clearly, a convoy of trucks carrying banned materials leaves the plant just moments before inspectors arrive...
Wow! That's pretty strong stuff.
In the secret places around Bagdhad...
...As you can see clearly, a convoy of trucks carrying banned materials leaves the plant just moments before inspectors arrive...
Finally! The day of our deliverance is at hand!
But for German and French diplomats...
...As you can see clearly, a convoy of trucks carrying banned materials leaves the plant just moments before inspectors arrive...
Funny, I don't get it. Saddam really needs another last chance.

 

by DAL
2-06-03
True Item: Scientists in Japan have unveiled a work in progress...
Where's Bill? He was here just a moment ago. Funny, he knew we had a load of errands today.
It's a product that will prove indispensible to all guys...
I guess I'll have to pick those window treatments myself!
An invisibility cloak!
Whew! That was close! Only ten more minutes before the big game starts!

 

by DAL
2-06-03
Billy Bob Buck, Attorney of Evil, addresses the media
I'm here to announce to the media that that the court has granted the petition of my clients, Iraq, North Korea and Iran, to ban the use of the term "Axis of Evil."
Boo! Hiss! There goes that macro!
However, you maybe interested to know that my clients have purchased the rights to a new name from DC Comics.
From now on, the "Axis of Evil" will now be known as the "Legion of Doom!
Cool! That's sort of sexy!

 

by DAL
2-11-03
Bagdhad, 2005
Ali! I haven't seen you since the war!
Greetings, uncle! I was just thinking about you and the days before our liberation from the tyrant.
Ah! I remember it all too well!
Courtesy of the Red, White and Blue (and I don't mean France).
Would you like to join me? I thought I would visit the library, then the museum and then a cafe for lunch after prayer.
Gladly, uncle. We can thank Allah for our new-found freedom.

 

by DAL
2-11-03
Oscar night, complete with the usual speeches
...members of the Academy, and of course, my family!
*Sigh*
And now, I would like to go on an illogical and nonsensical rant about the President and the war!
As I said, the usual speeches.
Blah, blah -- Bush is evil, war is bad -- blah, blah blah...
Hurrah! Bravo! What courage!

 

by DAL
3-01-03
It was in a place called Lai Thai...
Are you sure you want medium hot?
Sure, I eat spicy food all the time!
I went back the next day.
Ready for seconds?
Waitress? can I get a drink refill?

 

by DAL
8-06-03
July 16, 2003 - 2 am EST...
BARK! BARK!
Dino, you're a good dog. We should have listened...
Hey, that means someone is stealing your car, people!
And so the nightmare began...
I guess this means I won't be getting any Beggan' Strips tomorrow morning!

 

by DAL
8-06-03
I called the cops as soon as I saw the car was gone.
...Okay, I guess that's about it. I'll turn this over to the detective and we'll be in touch.
Thanks, officer. When do you think you might find the car?
I sensed an awkward silence...
Officer?
I guess it would be rude to burst into laughter, wouldn't it?
*sigh*

 

by DAL
8-06-03
Every day since then has been full of tiny humiliations...
I had to get a new parking permit to replace the one that was in the car whe it was stolen.
How did it go?
They said I had to pay $25 for a lost permit.
Did you tell them it wasn't lost, it was stolen?
I can't wait to see what tomorow brings...
Yeah, that's why they charged me $50 for a new permit.
Ah, shit...

 

by DAL
4-20-08
Hey! Move on - this is a No-Zombie Zone.
What makes you think I'm a zombie?
Let's see - who are you voting for in the next election?
Whoever the New York Times tells me to vote for.
Gotcha! Try the mall down the road - they love zombies.
*sigh* The things I go through for a little human flesh.

 

by DAL
4-22-08
Later, that same day...
Dude, don't you get tired of being typecast as the all-purpose, generic Arab guy in every strip?
Well, sometimes. I mean, look at the asine clothes they make me wear!
And what's up with that hat, or turban, or whatever?
The people in Wardrobe couldn't wrap a decent turban, so they just put a Pampers on my head.
That's just sad! Hey, why is there always an Apopcalyptic explosion at the end of all of your strips?
It's the whole terrorist thing. Wait, here's my line... " I declare jihad on you, infidel, blah blah, etc." Sweet Allah, what a pathetic way to make a living!

 

by DAL
4-22-08
So, I guess we're finally going to do this?
You betcha!
Since we're taking our relationship to the next level, we should be open and honest. How do you feel about herpes?
Umm... Hold that thought!
... And then I told my psychiatrist I was just acting out my love/hate relationship with my father...
"Houston, we have a problem..."

Showing page 1.