All comics by FlamingRicardo

Profile

 

by FlamingRicardo
9-03-04
The Proposition
Why...hello there, young lady! Might I, WangSock, inquire......
Hold that thought. Question......
A Perfectly Legitimite Question
Shoot.
Will this, in any way, shape, or form, end up with me bound and gagged in the trunk of your automobile, in a closet, or some other inconspicous surroundings?
WangSock 1, Ladies 0
Why wouldn't it?
And We Have A Winner!

 

by FlamingRicardo
9-04-04
It's no use, Stepdad. I'll never do good in school....
"WELL," you stupid child! You will never do WELL in school!!! Who bothered to spawn you, and WHY!?
Er.......um.....is this a trick question?
You should be dead. With that stupidity, you should have died brushing your teeth this morning! WHY do you continue to breathe!?
Meanwhile.....
Public indecency my ASS!!!

 

by FlamingRicardo
9-04-04
Yes......Yessssss......UNGH! ARGH! Fuck you! Fuck ME!!!!
AAAAGH! ASS! ASS! PAIN!!!! NO MORE! HIT THE LIGHTS! THE LIGHTS!!! CAN'T....TAKE.....IT!!!!
Wake up, ya pansy!
The training....it haunts my dreams, Cap'n!
Foolish rookie! The Butt Pirates of the Fire Islands know not human sympathy!

 

by FlamingRicardo
9-04-04
"Mr. Richards, it regrets me to inform you that your great-uncle Theodore has passed away from complications due to anal-retensiveness."
OH NO!!!!.......Wait. What kind of "complications" are we talking about, here?
It says "anal-retentiveness." It's pretty damn obvious, when you think about it.
Alright, alright. Point taken. So, I assume that you're here to give me some sort of vast fortune, ownership of a multi-million-dollar business, and all that jazz?
"One warehouse filled to the brim with KY-Jelly."
Fucked over by my dead relative....or could it be?.....YES! My life has new meaning! *sniff*

 

by FlamingRicardo
9-04-04
And THIS is the bunker in which Adolf Hitler commited suicide during the Russian invasion of Berlin near the end of European combat in World War II.
But Professor Sloan, why would such a determined, powerful man stoop to such an act of cowardice?
It's quite simple, young man. To Hitler, seeing his military might crushed into nothingless by the Allies was the ultimate humiliation, and capture would only further degrade him.
I see.......
"Not to mention the fact that he had an unhealthy fear of the Cossack.
And down, and down! Knees bent, and right leg OUT!
AGH! MEIN RUNNEN!

 

by FlamingRicardo
9-04-04
Ma'am? Got a call sayin' you needed a tree cut down?
Beg your pardon? I know of no tree on my property that needs cutting down.
Exactly. You seem to not understand the premise, here. Check out my color scheme and disposition. Grey. Melancohly. SINISTER. Do you understand where I'm going with this?
I think so.....
Later...
Alright...I don't think you're getting this. You scream, I clasp my hand over your mouth, and THEN you take a shot at my groin. No running just yet.
Look, I'm kinda new at this "cloak and dagger" shit, alright?

 

by FlamingRicardo
9-04-04
So....how are those numbers looking, Clancy?
Not too good, Senator. Your approval rating is at an all-time low. In fact, I'm the only person in America that doesn't want you dead.
You mean......?
Yes, sir. Too many to flay, this time.
Oh....but I do so LOVE the flaying!
I know....sir, might I suggest killer bees? Big death, no streets running red. Very clean.

 

by FlamingRicardo
9-05-04
Look, I don't see what the big fuss is. EVERYONE'S doing it. EVERYONE.
But....it just.....it just doesn't seem right!
Look, if you want to be a dick about it, fine. But you're missing out on some good shizzle. Besides, it's fun as hell.
Well...
One Hour Later.....
This is NOT when I had in mind when you said "getting hammered." Are you sure this isn't......?
....A cleverly hatched scheme designed to trick you into reflooring my aparment? Wouldn't dream of it.

 

by FlamingRicardo
9-05-04
JESUS TAPDANCING CHRIST! Damn buck got away!!!
What the hell do you mean by that?
You lost me.
I mean, are you sure of the fact that our Lord and Savior was, in fact, a tapdancer extraordinary?
"Well, there's no way EVERYTHING could be healed with a single touch."
Lord, can you really heal my arthritic back?
Yay, it can be so. Lay prone, and it shall be grooved into submission.

 

by FlamingRicardo
9-05-04
Man....it seems like everyone is out of a job these days......
Change? Change fo' da pooooor?
Every day, more and more people are laid off, being replaced by cheaper, cost-efficient robots......
Robot always scapegoat.....*sigh*
Honestly, this shit is getting out of hand.....
Psst.....can you give a brotha a few souls fo' reapin'?

Showing page 1.