All comics by KungChiFu

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by KungChiFu
5-29-03
Baghdad, Iraq... present day...
Are you SURE we're in the right place?
Says right here, weapons of mass destruction and command bunker, corner of Al Hmagajih Hlarg St. and Main...
There's nothing here but rubble and gunk. There's not even anything good left to steal.
Look, it has to be some around here someplace.
There's not even any body parts... ooo, wait! A finger!
I mean, look at this mess! You think we'd do all this unless there was a command bunker, and weapons of mass destruction?

 

by KungChiFu
5-29-03
The white man's history says that Francis Scott Key composed the National Anthem in 1804...
uh how how how ... ziz you zee... uh huh...
...but like everything else musical in honky culture, it was stolen from a black man...
dawn's erlight... caman... what so... PROUDLY... wave...
...meet the real composer of the National Anthem... John Lee Hooker Wallace Washington... tonight, on the Biography Channel.
th' rockets rehglare... bomb burstin' n shit...

 

by KungChiFu
5-30-03
Baghdad, Iraq... just another day...
What are we doing here, again?
Keeping the peace, dude. Keeping the peace.
It doesn't seem very peaceful.
Well, it's certainly untidy. But that's war for you.
Sgt. Joe looks peaceful, since that suicide bomber stopped by...
It's for the greater good. Remember, we're liberators! They want us here!

 

by KungChiFu
5-30-03
Stop making noise.
No noise above one-millionth of a decibel.
Impossible. I've got to breathe.
No you don't. Now go away and practice not breathing.

 

by KungChiFu
5-30-03
TT&A... boundless.
I haven't been paid in six months, our factory processes are outdated, the stock is in the toilet, and two workers were injured today when a safety guard failed. Morale is at an all time low!
Hey, hey, hey!
Don't take it so personally!
Just take it.

 

by KungChiFu
6-02-03
Last Friday, in Baghdad...
So I was all like "GRRR!" and he was all like "no no no"...
Then I was all like "Yes, yes" and I went all like "chunk chunk chunk" and he was all "AAAAAA!"...
You SO missed it dude.
You liberated the hell out of him, that's for sure.

 

by KungChiFu
6-02-03
Heaven. Just before lunchtime...
You sure look happy, Father... what's up?
I've just unleashed ultimate doom on the earth, Jesus.
Why wasn't I consulted?
You're too soft, boy. Everything is love and compassion with you. Earth needed a good kick in the ass, and buddy, I delivered it.
So what did you do?
I've sent a plague of Cedric the Entertainers... All Cedric, 24/7. Let's see them survive THAT!

 

by KungChiFu
6-03-03
Another day in Baghdad...
Still haven't found them WMDs, dude.
Look, can you just stop that, and come help me fix up the powerplant we bombed flat two months ago?
Somebody's gonna get in trouble if we don't find them WMDs, dude.
Well... don't worry about it. Maybe we blew them all up when we were shocking and awe-ing.
All right, fine. Where's this power plant?
Some of it is under my left shoe...

 

by KungChiFu
6-04-03
As of today at 3:38pm PST, the word "fuck" has appeared in 21,132 stripcreator.com cartoons.
Just saying.

 

by KungChiFu
6-05-03
Here comes the-
-ready or not!
Here comes the boys from the south.

 

by KungChiFu
6-05-03
Baghdad...
Y'all ready for elections yet?

 

by KungChiFu
6-05-03
"In just 20 minutes, 3 times a week over 6 weeks, you could lose up to 30 pounds and replace it with lean, hard muscle!"
"Bowflex. The ultimate in home fitness."
Sweet.

 

by KungChiFu
6-05-03
Remember back when we were on CNN every night, blowing up all the Taliban guys?
Yeah, dude. Now it's all about Iraq, and nobody cares about peacekeeping in Afghanistan...
Those were the days dude, being on CNN.
Yeah. Good times.

 

by KungChiFu
6-12-03
Somewhere in a cube farm, deep inside corporate America...
Whatcha doin', Crunchy? Workin' hard, or hardly workin'?
I'm making strips on stripcreator.com.
Yeah? That sounds cool. So, wow, did I tell you about my wart?
It used to be here on my arm. But I cut it off with a hacksaw. I think it looks better now. But boy did it hurt!
I gotta do one about annoying bastards who walk into my cubicle and talk to me. This is teh suck.

 

by KungChiFu
6-12-03
Camp Xray... Gitmo, Cuba...
All right, what's your story?
My name is Mohammed al Jahazin el.
Says here you are a Saudi citizen and were captured in Afghanistan working at Taliban HQ.
I was just returning a bomb I found strapped to my body. It wasn't mine! I want to see a lawyer.
You want a lawyer?? Yeah, that'll happen. I'll get right on that, like a vegetarian with a meat milkshake.

 

by KungChiFu
6-13-03
Oh, my my.
Oh, hell yes.
I dig you baby, but I got to keep moving. On.
Honey, put on that party dress.

 

by KungChiFu
6-13-03
I did it all for the nookie!
Come on.
The nookie!
Come on.
So you can take that cookie, and stick it up your--
Yeah!

 

by KungChiFu
6-13-03
That's me in the corner.
That's me in the spot... light.
Losing my religion.
Here it is. You dropped it in the men's room, under the sink.

 

by KungChiFu
6-13-03
Don't turn around. Uh uh oh.
Yuh, yuh.
Der Kommisar's in town.
All right. You got some ID, longhair?

 

by KungChiFu
6-13-03
I wish I was in Tijuana...
...eatin' barbequed Iguana.
I hear the talking of the DJ... don't understand, just what does he say?
He say, "try to eat THIS Iguana, senior"...

 

by KungChiFu
6-13-03
Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it.
Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and reselling it for more than it's worth.
But trust me on the sunscreen.

 

by KungChiFu
6-13-03
Some of those at work forces, are the same that burn crosses.
Some of those at work forces, are the same that burn crosses.
Some of those at work forces, are the same that burn crosses.
Huh!

 

by KungChiFu
6-13-03
I STILL haven't found what I'm looking for.

 

by KungChiFu
6-16-03
One night in Bangcock makes a hard man humble.
For real, dude.

 

by KungChiFu
6-18-03
Baghdad...
Didja read where we captured the "Ace of Diamonds", some General Abid Hamid Mahmud al-Tikriti guy? #4 on the list, dude.
Did you hear another US soldier was killed in a drive-by shooting?
Says here he was a real bad guy. His arrest is a big deal.
That brings the total to 50 US soldiers killed since Pres. Bush announced an end to major hostilities on May 1st.
Betcha he knows where them WMDs are, dude.
Maybe we should make a deck of cards with WMD pictures on them.

 

by KungChiFu
6-18-03
Baghdad... the search continues...
Dude, I'm about sick of looking for them WMDs.
Doesn't matter if we find them. The conflict was about more than just WMDs.
Yeah?
Yeah. Saddam Hussein was bad enough to justify the war just to kick him out of power.
But we can't find him either!
You know what you need? A tax cut.

 

by KungChiFu
6-25-03
I play chess all the time! It's all I do! And I'm GREAT at it!!
You might say I'm a chess nut, boasting in an open foyer!
Arr...

 

by KungChiFu
6-26-03
I never meant to cause you any sorrow.
I never meant to cause you any pain.
Well, maybe I did.

 

by KungChiFu
6-27-03
Look, another one.
That's another US soldier killed in irregular combat. And six UK troops killed the other day. And there's two US soldiers missing.
True.
Keeps us in the news, though.

 

by KungChiFu
6-27-03
Dude! We found them WMDs!
We did?
Well, I mean, we found some centerfuge parts that could be used for making nuclear bombs.
Come on dude. Work with me here.
It could also be a high-end yo-yo, or a clutch plate off a Porche 914.

 

by KungChiFu
7-01-03
I guess I can live in a hole. I love my rabbit and I'll stand by him.
As long as he stops with the puns.
Or maybe not.
So. Can we get started on that fucking like rabbits deal, then?

 

by KungChiFu
7-07-03
Now I'm working for a huge squid. But at least it's a job.
What the hell, bitch?
What are you doing here? Wait, I can explain, this isn't what it looks like...
Good, because it looks like you're holding out on me.
No, no. I'm just, you know, doing community service.
Them court orders are a bitch, ain't they.

 

by KungChiFu
7-08-03
General Patton speaks...
These pulpit killers that go around saying that the Bible says that man dare not kill causes the death of many thousands of good soldiers. Damn little those pulpit killers know about the Bible.
They know even less about the way God works. They should read all of the Bible, not just the part they like! God never hesitated to kill! God never waits to kill when a man or race needs punishment!
God helped David kill Goliath, didn't he? How about Noah and the Ark? All of the rest of the people were killed in the flood! God took the blame for this mass murder.

 

by KungChiFu
7-08-03
And General Patton concludes...
How about the Red Sea which opened up long enough for one race to escape and another race to be killed. Don't talk to me about God not permitting man to kill. War means that we have to kill people.
That's all there is to it. It is a sin not to kill if we are serving on God's side. There is no other way to win. Wars must be won for God's sake. He has a part in every war! The quicker we can kill-
the enemy, the quicker we can go home and listen to what we did wrong. If it wasn't for us,they would be shot for standing in their own pulpits. Our task is to kill the enemy before we are killed.

 

by KungChiFu
7-08-03

 

by KungChiFu
7-08-03
Iraq... to recap:
Uranium. Anthrax. VX. Plauge. Mustard gas. Nuke-u-lar weapons. Iraqi freedom.
March.
April.
May.
June.
July...

 

by KungChiFu
7-08-03

 

by KungChiFu
7-08-03

 

by KungChiFu
7-08-03

 

by KungChiFu
7-08-03

 

by KungChiFu
7-08-03

 

by KungChiFu
7-08-03

 

by KungChiFu
7-08-03

 

by KungChiFu
7-08-03

 

by KungChiFu
7-08-03

 

by KungChiFu
7-08-03

 

by KungChiFu
7-08-03

 

by KungChiFu
7-08-03

 

by KungChiFu
7-15-03
With stripcreator.com down, Brad returns to working out that whole "cold fusion" thing...
This is never going to work. And I'm FREEZING...

 

by KungChiFu
7-17-03
Daffy Duck, leader of the Cartoon Characters Resistance Front, faces death by erasure...
Do you want a blindfold? Perhaps a cigarette?
Do your worst, you bastards. You may kill me, but you'll never kill the revolution!

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