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| I think all transactions in the bank should be a race, where the loser gets hit in the head with a brick. | |
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| Anybody who fails to get all their shit together during the hour and a half they're waiting in line for every other disorganized asshole to complete their transactions, hit with a brick. | |
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| People who try to ask the teller lady some long, involved question about interest rates or retirement accounts, or any other such shit, hit with a brick. | |
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| If you have a big, long question, take it to the lady with the big desk. That's what she's there for. That's why they give her the BIG FUCKING DESK!! Think of the teller booth as a little desk. | |
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| If you have a little question, take it to the little desk, BIG QUESTIONS, GO TO THE BIG FUCKING DESK! All booth and window transactions should be completed in under 3 minutes. | |
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| Anybody over 3 min will be held down by every person behind them in line and beaten until they promise to fill out the deposit slip beforehand next time. | |
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