MaxPayne  

How you doin' tonight, folks? We got a great audience! I just flew in from Phoenix, and BOY are my sticks tired!

*CRICKET*

Seriously, though, I've been having a rough couple of days. I walked in on my girlfriend the other night, she was cheating on me with an exclimation point.

*COUGH*

And now, for the grande finale, I will kill myself for making this comic!

*APPLAUSE*