All comics by Onemancult

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by Onemancult
11-24-01
Aw God no, here comes that little girl again...
Whatcha doin mister?
I wonder if i killed her if anyone would care?
I saw Harry Potter and it was super! I think Harry is cute, but so is that other girl, so maybe im a lesbian my mommy is a lesbian but they dont call her Vivian, they call her dyke, dont know why.....
...Go away, Im bad and scary. Why are you still here?
...Yr not so scary. I saw my mommys vagina once, that was scary cos it was all hangy like that cartoon doggie, Droopy, only it didnt talk it only went 'squish' when i touched it

 

by Onemancult
11-24-01
Stu came to one of those points in his life that will either make or break him..it was time for a decision...
That girl looks kinda like that Spears girl..only..her boobs are small....hmmm
It was the crucial moment, the window of opportunity was closing by the millisecond...
Hey you..you there...yeah, you...
Yeah, whaddaya want?
Clearly, he had failed once again.
Um.......well....um..nevermind.
I gotta stop dressing like this, i keep on attracting wierdos who reek like licquor and condoms.

 

by Onemancult
11-25-01
I told you all the apocalypse was coming, none of you listened. Now look at the place, who's gonna clean up this mess?
Im not cleaning a damn thing. I'm evil, hell; most of all this is my fault. Get someone else.
Hey you down there, kid! Clean up this mess and I'll grant you the ultimate salvation, the holy of holies.
Naw, I'm gonna go play with all the rotting corpses. I think I saw one with Pokemon cards!!!
Hello friend. It is I, your lord. If you clean up some of this mess, I'll save you from eternal damnation.
Save me? SAVE ME? I'm the only black man left on earth, and my name is NEAL! I wont survive another ten minutes, I cant clean a damn thing.Shit, world ends and now the ONE black guy gotta clean,shit..

 

by Onemancult
11-25-01
Would you like to pull my nipple rings and make me squeal?
Excuse me?
Dont you remember your line? Hurry up....
Oh um.....yeah..erm.....uh..Only if you let me ram my one large ear into your asshole, you skeletal jibe monkey homo. Thats the ticket.
Backstage...
I'm never working with you again...I cant believe you forgot something so simple as "Yes please, lemme at em." You'll never work in this town again.
Lemme at em! Come on big boy, lemme at those sweet candy nips! Whooee, look at em swell up!.....thats the ticket.

 

by Onemancult
11-25-01
Peter Was Tripping Again...
Hey baby...you wanna blow? Hit the dust, sniff sniff...come on baby, then we blow. Come on honey, I'll swallow it this time...sweety, I love you...come on sweety...ooh, daddy likes it rough.....
"...And I thought to myself, who is the man in the box? Who is the fat woman who sings about bananas? Why was I there, why was I anywhere for that matter?..."
Everything Was Changing...
Shanananana-nanana-nananana go on and kiss de girl! Shalalala-wananana-bananana- fuck de girl!
Vhere Ees De Peenus? Vhere is De Peenus, Spase Peenus? Vhere? Vhat do you Vish forr?Whom is thine daddy?
But soon, it was all back to normal...
Have you seen my other eye? Where have i been lately?....the warden's ass, your ass, the guards' collective asses, the cook's ass, the janitor's ass...hmm..i wonder where my eye could be...
Did he say my ass too? Maybe that's why I've been so sore...if i ask and he says yes, then I'll have to deal with the truth. And if he says no, then he'll want to do it anyway...damn it all to hell...

 

by Onemancult
11-26-01
Jesus Was Having a Bad Day...
What the hell, how did I end up here of all places?!?!
HAHAHA, What the HELL Indeed!!!!!
Dad! DAD! Get me out of here, you never make mistakes whats up now?!?!
Never makes mistakes...NEVER MAKES MISTAKES?! Have you ever listened to modern rock radio? They play a mistake every three to five minutes!
Got me there. Wanna start a band?
I already have a band. Its called Girls in Heat.

 

by Onemancult
11-26-01
Tikki Tikki Tembo...
...No Say Rembo...
...Chari Bari Uchi...
........................
Cant you remember a simple ancient chinese nursery rhyme?
Nope. But I can name all 202 Pokemon.

 

by Onemancult
11-30-01
Wonder if mermaids have vaginas....
HOHOHO my son!
You never got me the dead baby JesusFetis action figurine set I wanted, Santa. You've been naughty....
H-hold on just a minute! I couldnt read what you wrote, you wrote it in blood! Come on, let me make it up to you? I'll get you anything, anything at all!!!
"Here is what you wanted. This is highly unorthodox, and if anyone ever asks you; you didnt get this from me. Love Santa. PS: Gave it a test ride, works pretty good. Dont tell Mrs. Claus"
Hey, you gawnna fock me er not, I wawnna git mah mohnee and git goin awnta mah next cohstimers...

 

by Onemancult
12-01-01
Nobody ever gets ME a damned present...the little bastard gets one, the fat whore gets one, and the cheating old balding buffoon gets one. Never the sweet, christmas tree...
Its time I end it all...why am I even here? They can put the goddamned presents anywhere. Fuck them, and the fat old one. He never even gives me any thanks.I hope he chokes on the cookies.
Hmm...must be one of those suicide cults. I'll leave them Kool-Aid.

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