I'd have never made it through my high school years without your guidance, Fergie Hamnuts. I never knew an alcholic retard could have such wisdom and lessons about life.
. . .I have a monkey in my head. Sometimes it explodes.
I mean, take that time my prom date tried to force himself on me. I took your advice, yelled "FUUUUCKMONKEY!" and peed all over him. And it WORKED.
. . .When I take a shit I flush real quick. Otherwise the Turd Burgulars will steal it.
And when you said to eat a lot chili peppers the night before and wipe my ass with my SAT form? If I hadn't done that, hell, I might not be in this insane asylum with you.
. . .I likes to wear a veil around my butthole like the Muz-Lems do.
