Straightshooter  

Hello Santa! Do you have a gift for me?

I have gifts for all the people of Morehead! Now, let's see. Would you like a carton of Winston's, a bottle of Jack Daniels or a pair of used truck nuts?

Actually Santa, I'll pass on them all.

I don't understand. You live in Morehead, KY don't you? Surely one of these gifts appeals to you?

Don't you have any toys or clothes or books?

I have a Winston model race car, a Jack Daniels dew rag and a book on how to install truck nuts, but I'm guessing you'll probably pass on those too. Won't you, fancy man?