Tinman  

Wait, before you bite me, tell me more. Are you the classic kind of zombie? Shambling, slow, hunger for brains?

Well, yes, we are known for our shambling walk, but that's because we're so full of shit we don't want to spill any. We also thirst for brains due to our complete lack of any.

So, I could just run away then?

Well... Yes. But wouldn't you rather be one of us? You'll never be alone again.... One... Of... Us...

vrrrrroooommmm!!!! sccreeeeccchh!!!

I'm such an idiot. Zombies never attack alone. I wish I was a vampire, or something.