All comics by Whimsy

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by Whimsy
6-23-03
*coughs* Um... hi.
You know, I'm sure this will get interesting, sometime in the future.
You know, that little kid is starting to creep me out...

 

by Whimsy
6-23-03
You know, I'm fairly certain we shouldn't be here...
Maybe it's the flies... you know, you're really starting to creep me out.
HOLY SHIT!
Gotta problem? Ah... Nothing like the smell of rotting flesh in the morning...

 

by Whimsy
6-23-03
There are some things that make me inexpressibly sad...
*giggles*

 

by Whimsy
6-23-03
Despite what you may believe... my name is Beth.
And, um... I'm Jeff.
And... it looks like we'll be hosting this, for now.
Until something else comes along.
What do I say now?
Mmm... pasta.

 

by Whimsy
6-23-03
Hey... you're that creepy kid everyone's been talking about.
. . .
What's wrong with your eyebrows, you androgynous freak?!
Buzzz...

 

by Whimsy
6-23-03
Where the fuck is my grandson?
I told her I wanted that Harry Potter book... bitch.

 

by Whimsy
6-23-03
Life is like a smack on the ass...
It all depends on how you take it.

 

by Whimsy
6-24-03
I'm kinda freaked now... Why are they staring?
It's this creepy little kid, I'm telling you!

 

by Whimsy
6-24-03
Does this make me look ugly?
Nope.
How about now?
Nope.
You never pay attention to me!
Nope.

 

by Whimsy
6-24-03
Christ, it's fucking hot in here.
You're telling me!

 

by Whimsy
6-24-03
You know, I don't get it. I say funny things all the time in real life.
I mean, honestly! But when I try to think of something amusing to put here, it just... dies.
Of course, everything I put here appeals to *my* sense of humour.
And I can't be the *only* person who appreciates my humour, can I?
Only one thing left to do.

 

by Whimsy
6-24-03
Soon, singing fills the air.
Ooooh ooh bee doo!
And dancing abounds.
(Wop a doo bee doo wop!)
I wanna be like yo-ooo-oo-oou!

 

by Whimsy
6-24-03
Previously, on Buffy the Vampire Slayer...
Prepare to eat dirt, slime-wad!
Take that! And that!
Why the fuck isn't this working?
Mmmm... panties...

 

by Whimsy
6-25-03
As you approach your 29th birthday, remember one thing, as you look at all those beautiful people standing around you...
...the women who still look 18, and guys that look like body-builders...
Cases in point...
Just remember that no matter how much plastic surgery they have... their kids will still be ugly.
Case in point.

 

by Whimsy
6-25-03
Hey look! A flock of geese!
Migratious!

 

by Whimsy
6-25-03
There are only 10 types of people in this world.
Those who know binary, and those who don't.

 

by Whimsy
6-25-03
How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
To get to the other side!
Funny. *Real* funny.

 

by Whimsy
6-25-03
My name is Ivan Checkov. And you vill be closing now.
The rest of you, go! You, stay.
Why don't you make like a tree... and get the fuck out of here!

 

by Whimsy
6-25-03
It only took a little while for him to realize that the Macarena was out of style.

 

by Whimsy
6-25-03
With apologies to the writers of "The Bible: The Complete Word of God (abridged)"
They were begattin' on the sea...
Begattin' on the land...
Begattin' with a partner...
Is better than your hand. Word.

 

by Whimsy
6-25-03
I used to be a tap dancer...
...But then I fell in the sink.
Christ, what a moron.

 

by Whimsy
6-25-03
I know you think I hate you.
And I don't get me wrong, but I do.
And, well... I know you hate me too.
The thing is...
I've got to learn how to stop hating myself...
...Before I stop hating you.

 

by Whimsy
6-26-03
Just thought that I would mention...
that all sodomy laws, and laws against sexual acts between two people of the same gender, have been repealed by the US Supreme Court.
The author of this strip is neither male nor gay, but is delighted by this, nonetheless.
As am I, my friend, as am I.

 

by Whimsy
6-26-03
I take it you heard the news about the sodomy laws, right?
Hey, to each his own.
It *is* a large step towards eliminating discrimination in the US... why the long face?
Well... do you realize what this means?
Umm... there won't be any justifiable jokes about *illegal* anal sex?
No... just that The Pansy Division song, "Breaking The Law" won't hold true anymore...

 

by Whimsy
6-27-03
Even though I never met him, and I didn't think about him daily, I still feel sad that Strom Thurmond is dead.
I know what you mean...
Who else will be the butt of all the old-people jokes?
I was actually serious.
Oh.

 

by Whimsy
6-27-03
I'm going to Ireland for the first time, this January. I've been wanting to go all of my life.
And while I *fully* intend to get some Irish ass while I'm there...
The author has *nothing* at all against kilts... she finds them very nice, indeed.
...it irks me when people ask if I'll be searching for a guy in a kilt.
Hey there . . .

 

by Whimsy
6-27-03
You know that you've spent too much time on SC...
...when, in response to anything your mother says, you wish to respond:
TOBOR WILL CORNHOLE YOU!!!

 

by Whimsy
6-27-03
You know you seriously need play when...
Welcome to Mooby's, what can I get you?
Sex? ...oops...
You know this pasta needs? *BAM*
Sex?
Hmmm... sex...
ARGH! Thank you, Anya!

 

by Whimsy
6-30-03
I'd like to take this opportunity to say:
ALL HAIL BRAD!!!
All hail Brad!
If there were a character drawn kneeling in supplication, I would use that one, right now. Because Brad is the greatest in the world!
All hail Brad!

 

by Whimsy
6-30-03
Now, if you could stand with your back to the wall, please... Your back to the wall... please...
Please stand with your back to the wall... shoulders pressed against the... please...
JESUS H. TAPDANCING CHRIST! Whatever happened to POSTURE?!
You wanna talk posture? Try being nailed to a fuckin' plank.

 

by Whimsy
7-02-03
Look, now, I just don't feel right about this...
Listen, bitch. I paid you well. Put it on, or you get the carrot.
But- I read the comic, just like you--
Stuff it! ...Or I will. Now, put it on, and say it!
Oh, fine! TOBOR WILL CORNHOLE YOU!
Oh god... where's my zipper... now, could you say, "Tobor will *carrot* hole you"?

 

by Whimsy
7-02-03
Check my mad flip-flop skills.
You know, the worst thing about StripCreator...
is its ability to make you wonder...
...how you can turn every amusing thing you heard or said that day...
...into a three panel comic.
Oh. And the fact that there are no characters of *chicks* on computers...
Fuckers.

 

by Whimsy
7-04-03
Dammit! You know, for the past couple of days, while SC was down, I thought of a million clever strips to post.
But of course, now that the site is back up, I can't remember a damned thing.
And to make things worse, I've started to dream in three-panel comic strips.

 

by Whimsy
7-07-03
Ma'am... don't yell.
But I thought you said you didn't need heat lamps because your food was fresh! I thought you were getting it ready!
Ma'am... that's it. You come in here every day, order the same thing, and throw the same fit. Once and for all, we *don't* *serve* human!
B-but... I want my baby burger...
Don't worry, miss. Mark there was lying. You just need to learn to be more assertive. I'm Betty, the new manager.
Hi... does this mean I can finally get my kids meal?

 

by Whimsy
7-07-03
Mmmm... girl. You taste like malt likker.
Because he raped his mother!
And then I ran over your dog.
That's when I found out Dubya was God.
Dead sperm tastes better!
The End.

 

by Whimsy
7-07-03

 

by Whimsy
7-07-03
Somedays I really feel as if the world is conspired against me. Things start off well enough, though. I woke up this morning- in the morning, honestly! For the first time in over a month...
Anyway, I climb out of bed, life is good. For I know that in a little over 24 hours, I will have friends from school coming to visit. And we will talk, and start writing a story we brainstormed...
...last time we were together. For a moment, I forget the fact that I don't have a job. I forget the fact that I'm living in my parent's house, if only for the summer, with a vehicle and gas, but...
...nowhere to go, and no one to visit. So I get on the computer, and spend my whole day there, as I have done for most of this summer. But then, on the computer, I learn that some other friends...
...won't be returning to school next semester. And there is very little chance that I'll get the chance to see them- ever again. And, as if that wasn't depressing enough, the friends that were...
...supposed to come to see me tomorrow bail out, at around 10PM. So now I'm left with nothing to do, nowhere to go, until the end of the foreseeable future. Too bad I'm not the kind to bitch.

 

by Whimsy
7-25-03
I know I've been gone for juSt about... ever. A real vacAtion and whatnot.
I've missed you all so much. And everything I've said preViously about not being on SC still holds true. But it's gEtting worse.
I had a dream the other night that had a coMputer geek named Kaufman in it... then I read a book in which there was a character named Kaufman. I think it's some kind of curse... or a cry for hElp.

 

by Whimsy
7-25-03
Just out of curiosity... what religion are you?
Oh, I'm an eclectic pagan. Why?
Well, I seem to remember a cousin of yours... a devil-worshipper, unless I'm mistaken.
Oh yeah, Dave. What a fucktard. Poor dyslexic sap.
Whatever happened to him?
Have you ever wondered where Santa got his elves?

 

by Whimsy
7-25-03
Read PA, 7-25-03. 'Nuff said.

 

by Whimsy
7-25-03
Hey- when is an editing feature going to come out for SC?
With much love, and teasing, for the Almighty Brad.

 

by Whimsy
1-28-04
Hi.
Oh god, what do I say?
You could tell them where you've been for the past six months, to start off with.
Oh yeah.

 

by Whimsy
1-28-04
Over the past six months...
I finally turned eighteen...
...and I took that *amazing* trip to Ireland.

 

by Whimsy
2-03-04
You know what, Karen? It's over. I can't take it any more.
What?
Goodbye.
What did I do wrong? Am I getting fat? Do you hate my friends?
Maybe I shouldn't have grown the facial hair.

 

by Whimsy
2-03-04
Daniel, I need to see those reports right now.
Ah, the thing is, boss, I haven't actually done them yet.
What? You'd better have a damned good excuse, Daniel.
Well, what happened was...
Fifteen Minutes Later...
I'm waiting for your clever excuse.
So am I.

 

by Whimsy
2-03-04
Daniel, I need to see those reports right now.
Ah, the thing is, boss, I haven't actually done them yet.
What? You'd better have a damn good excuse, Daniel.
Well, what happened was...
I swear! I didn't know she was fourteen!

 

by Whimsy
2-04-04
Daniel, I need to see those reports right now.
Ah, the thing is, boss, I haven't actually done them yet.
What? You'd better have a damn good excuse, Daniel.
Well, what happened was...
Do I even need to say it?

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