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The Beginning: Our Hero tries dating; however, he is consumed by various…..issues.
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| Look, you are always drunk or fucked up on something else. I cannot handle it, I need to be with a guy who has goals and his shit together. | |
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| Man, why do you have to be such an uptight bitch. Like I told you before, I don’t have a drinking/drug problem, I have a cop problem. What was your name again? | |
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2 Years Later: Our Hero has turned his life around, no more booze and drugs, but still has dating challenges
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| Look, I think it is cool and all how you do not drink or do drugs, but I feel like I am dating Mormon Missionary, I need to be with a guy who parties and has fun – you are boring as fuck. | |
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| Fuck, I guess we are at the point where I pretend I understand where she is coming from, respect her opinion, wish her well, when deep down I just want to horse fuck this chick. | |
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Present Day: Our Hero finally accepts his reality
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| You seem like a nice guy who should not have problems getting a woman. Not sure why you want to use a hooker like me, but money is money. | |
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| Long story, either I drink/drug too much and am an asshole or I do not drink/drug enough and am too nice. It is like trying to tap Goldilocks. How much for a Rim-Job and a Dirty Sanchez? | |
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