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The Australian Federal Election gets underway. On the left, Australian Opposition and Labour Party Leader Kim Beazely; on the right, incumbent PM John Howard...
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| Speaking as a renowned world export on military affairs, I can say that I would be doing a far better job as PM myself. Like, getting Mrs Megawart on the blower. | |
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| Wibble, wobble, wibble, wobble... must keep Afghan refugees out... wibble, wobble... cultural differences... wibble, wobble... | |
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| Here's what I stand for: rolling back my foreskin. No, wait, I don't have a foreskin... I'll have to settle for rolling back the Goods and Services Tax on dildoes... er... | |
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| SNIFF... must oppress Aboriginals... wibble, wobble... | |
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| Sacked Ansett workers are entitled to their jobs, because they were born. Here's what I'll do when I, the alternative PM, am PM: keep Ansett running for three hours by scrapping blah blah blah... | |
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| Mummy... can I go home now? | |
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