astropolis  

so, santa, how's this sordid trip back through the particulars of my squirrelly upbringing work?

very simple, i've rifled through your diary and picked out the relevant events and in a poof!, we're there

you snooping bastard!

never mind that now, do you know where we are?

i have no idea, you bloody incompetent git!

great... well, chin up, lad, i'll just... uhm, hmmm... where's the diary?